A list by richie.
About
Merchant accounts and credit card processing at the guaranteed lowest price. Small, home based, and Internet businesses welcome. Full range of e-commerce solutions. Shop us first - or last, our prices can\'t be beaten!
A list by richie.
reesetee See? Bilby knows what I'm talking about.
Why does that scare me? Sep 4, 2008
bilby Pineapple rings. Like Saturn, but in juice. Sep 4, 2008
lampbane Yes, because dinosaurs actually taste good.
Sep 4, 2008
reesetee You're a good man, Palooka Brown.
Yes, spam, chained_bear. You know. It's sort of like dinosaurs, only different. Sep 4, 2008
chained_bear Wait... this is spam? Why... spam?
Really?
On Wordie? ...
*does not compute* Sep 4, 2008
palooka Just trying to help them get ahead in this crazy old world reesetee. Sep 4, 2008
reesetee Palooka, clearly you are the Spam de la Spam of spammers, and Orbit/Squalid Merchants is intimidated by your spamming prowess. Sep 4, 2008
vanishedone Maybe you have to tell them your problems to get their solutions: a kind of agony aunt for credit card processing.
Or maybe all they really aspire to is a place in Private Eye. Sep 4, 2008
palooka And OrbitMerchants doesn't talk to me. Where's the customer service OrbitMerchants? It's not often a company as minuscule as yours has a chance to build a relationship with a fast growing babes & vegetables porn site like mine.
Get on the damn bus Gus! Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus Ask Asativum. I don\'t talk to Chad anymore. Sep 4, 2008
palooka I can work Chad into the video, Pro. Is he available? Does he have a way with eggplants? Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus Is it Chad? He went too far again. Never mind, rabidmerchant. Sep 4, 2008
palooka Say OrbitMerchants, can I send you some of my x-rated videos? I have a great one featuring a tall, curvaceous redhead fondling an overripe eggplant. It's hot! Sep 4, 2008
palooka Morbid Merchants is interesting Pro, can you morbidly orbit? Sep 4, 2008
palooka Yea Pro, I envision some guy in a stained t-shirt sitting in front of his monitor hoping someone will send him their bank account info. Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus C'mon, morbid merchant, concede us an epiphany! Sep 4, 2008
palooka Orbit is a cool word to have in your company's name. It conjures up images of circling & circling, yet never going anywhere. Such futility OrbitMerchants. Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus They are probably too home based for spending time with us. Sep 4, 2008
palooka If they would show a little customer service here Pro & quote me prices for my x-rated hot babe/vegetable video site, I could compare. But there showing me NO customer service at all - none, zero, zip. Sep 4, 2008
palooka OrbitMerchants - there's something "out there" about that name. Like spacey, you know, like a dark planet full of dead merchants seeking solutions - but there are no solutions, just death, just dead merchants. What a grisly company OrbitMerchants is! Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus Moreover, I don't need diluted e-commerce. Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus Did you try to beat their prices hard? I couldn\'t. Sep 4, 2008
palooka I'm trying to help these credit card processing bozos Pro, & are they listening? Are they reaching out and thanking me? No! What the hell kind of service is this! Hey OrbitMerchants, where's the customer service here? Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus Straight to Chattanooga, palooka! Sep 4, 2008
palooka "Orbit/Squalid Merchants, Orbit/Squalid Merchants": doesn't that have a beautiful ring to it? It would be the ring of endless wealth swooshing into their bank accounts.
Get on the bus, Gus. Make this your new plan, Stan. There must be 50 ways to leave your poverty! Sep 4, 2008
palooka "Squalid internet videos/OrbitMerchants. That has a better ring to it. Squalid Merchant Solutions - wow! There's a big market for credit card processing solutions for X-rated sites. C'mon Orbit/Squalid Merchants, I'm opening a door for you here, a door to fabulous riches.
I think I'll need to charge you to work with me. Sep 4, 2008
palooka My stuff will fly off the shelf OrbitMerchants, you will make so much money working with me! When people think "dirty internet videos", I want them to think OrbitMerchantSolutions. This is going to be big! Please check in & answer my inquiries here. Sep 4, 2008
palooka Hey, you all be nice to OrbitMerchantSolutions - they may be ok guys. Say OrbitMerchants, I'm starting a porn video site featuring hot babes interacting with common garden vegetables, & I heard OrbitMerchant is the premier supplier of merchant accounts to porn sites.
How do I contact you about getting my own merchant account for my xxx-rated site? Sep 4, 2008
vanishedone ...Once they spam Wordie, our favourite thing... Sep 4, 2008
Prolagus ...Internet businesses don't mean a thing... Sep 4, 2008
vanishedone Secret domain registration begs guessing...
We haven't yet managed to supplant the domain itself; currently a Google search for 'orbitmerchantsolutions' returns us at number two. Sep 3, 2008
reesetee Brilliant, Pro. :-) Sep 3, 2008
Prolagus *singing*
...merchant accounts and credit card processing... Sep 3, 2008
Prolagus Methinks the best thing John could do is change this list name into raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, or something like that. That would be a Wordie treatment. Sep 3, 2008
reesetee Yep, I'm all for the Wordie Treatment, but I do see your point, she. It drives me batty when idiots use our beloved Wordie for spamnation and hellfire. I could go either way, I guess. Sep 3, 2008
chained_bear John, can you show she radixand's list? That was truly a thing of beauty. Sep 3, 2008
she I respectfully love and despise you all for playing into the hands of spam and putting this godawful thing all over the front page!
(It's mostly love, but really: I felt actual contempt for this list when I saw it. Spam popping up in places I'm attached to is incredibly bothersome, and the prospect of a gaping spam-hole on Wordie scares me; leaving cute comments instead of deleting it does absolutely nothing to discourage it — it's an eyesore, and a mindsore, and and, and.. help.) Sep 3, 2008
gangerh Bilby. It arrived 5 hours before your comment. Sep 3, 2008
gangerh Shop us first! Hah! Very good, VO! Sep 3, 2008
Prolagus Unless you mean "it's not fair". Or, "you'll go to hell". Sep 3, 2008
john Um... right. Me too.
*blushes* Sep 3, 2008
Prolagus John? I do have a "delete" option on my profile comments... Sep 3, 2008
vanishedone I see the domain was registered through domainsbyproxy.com: surely the mark of a reputable business to entrust with credit card processing.
I expect the can\'t is an attempt to escape the apostrophe character, but what does 'shop us first' mean? Shop as in 'turn in to the police', perhaps? Sep 3, 2008
john Oh, right: you can't delete other people's comments on your profile, only on lists.
Who built this thing? It's inconsistent, and confusing! Sep 3, 2008
plethora Wasn't the first example of the Wordie Treatment mi-vox's profile? That was purely comments. Sep 3, 2008
chained_bear That's okay Pro. It isn't actually a list at all! Doesn't mean we can't add an asston of comments to it. :)
Does "our prices can\'t be beaten" mean that they can be eaten? Or \eaten? Or just not \beaten? Sep 3, 2008
Prolagus "our spices can't be eaten" Sep 3, 2008
Prolagus Unfortunately, it's not an open list. Sep 3, 2008
chained_bear Ooh! Ooh! Wordie Treatment! Pleeeeeeease?!
*finger poised on a Magical Archive Button* Sep 3, 2008
john My first impulse on greeting the flap-jawed pithnoggin in the wild is to delete hir, but I don't want to deny anyone the cathartic pleasure of defacing a spammer, and the equally piquant joy of watching our spitballs supplant the spammer's own pages in Gooble. But, as we learned with our last party crasher, they can take away our fun by deleting their own lists*.
Shall we vote? Death by deletion, or subject them to the dreaded Wordie treatment?
* though the deleted list in question was actually archived by one of us, and will rise again one day on Errata :-) Sep 3, 2008
bilby Well dunk my arrowroot. When did this flap-jawed pithnoggin arrive? Sep 3, 2008