mi-vox

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• about 11 months ago, Prolagus said: hahahahahaha!
• about 11 months ago, chained_bear said: Just checking in. Nostalgically.
  
  *sigh*
• about 1 year, 5 months ago, bilby said: Palooka, have you recovered from your mi-vox pox?
• about 1 year, 8 months ago, vanishedone said: Bad news: mi-vox.com now appears at the top of Google's results for 'mi-vox' (twice, thanks to a sponsored link), and this page scrapes in at the bottom of page four of the search results.
  
  So... It seems from capazoo.com/mi-vox and mybloglog.com/buzz/members/mi-vox/ that Mi-Vox has a human face (and is male). How does this affect your feelings for Mi-Vox...?
• about 1 year, 9 months ago, reesetee said: Palooka, how horrible! I'm sending you chocolate via express mail.
  
  ;->
• about 1 year, 9 months ago, skipvia said: HA! I had forgotten all about our spam-bot friend. I just love his lyrical (and LONG!) account of the difficulties of reading while trying to get a tan. You've got to hand it to a guy who takes the initiative in solving some of the great problems of our time.
• about 1 year, 9 months ago, palooka said: I actually bought and used a mi-vox. I now have a rampant and incurable testicular rash, & am quarantined along with my mi-vox in the house. The hazmat people are still trying to decide how to safely remove and dispose of the mi-vox.
  In the meantime my food reserves are almost gone and I now weigh 45 pounds. My wife has left me in disgust. But I have heard some great audio-books.
  (Just kidding mi-vox lawyers.)
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, reesetee said: Oh, but skipvia, the bot-thing's list--well, it's a thing of minimalist beauty.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, skipvia said: Hey kids! Let's fill in the rest of mi-vox's profile!
  
  mi-vox's favorite word: poshest
  
  mi-vox's least favorite word: vibrate mode
  
  onomatopoeia that best describes mi-vox: doh!
  
  mi-vox is a: spam-generating robot
  
  seeking a: way to get traffic to his site since the product itself doesn't seem to be generating any interest, possibly because everyone already owns an ipod
  
  also on: every other social networking site with lax spam filters
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, yarb said: Now there's an impeccable accent!
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, vanishedone said: Err... 'Donnez-moi le spam, s'il vous plaît'?
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, arcadia said: WOW, this is starting to remind me of a Simpsons or Sienfeld episode, something about mixing up audio tapes and learning the wrong language or something. Anywho, I think this benefit of mi-vox is especially exciting:
  
  "And just imagine being able to effortlessly order food and wine at the poshest foreign restaurants, either in your home country or overseas".
  
  The poshest foreign restaurants, that's my stomping grounds! How did it know???
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, sionnach said: God, the bot-thing is stepping up the frequency of its demonic intrusions.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, uselessness said: Yo spammer: Your audiobooks SUCK.
  
  I bought one and the stupid thing broke as soon as I opened the packaging. Cheapest piece-of-crap "gadget" I've ever had the misfortune to own. I was able to repair it with some tape, but was disgusted to hear my favorite blockbuster novel being read by Fran Drescher! I will encourage all my friends to avoid your products in the future, and I suggest you find better voice artists (and a manufacturer worth a nickel) if you ever want my business again.
  
  Signed,
  Walter Chestershire
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, mi-vox said: Many of us will sometimes dream of learning another language, but our demanding lives make it apparently impossible.
  
  We’re just too busy doing what we have to do in our daily routine. We’re always on the go, with so much to be done every day.
  
  Travelling to and from work, doing the shopping, exercising, looking after the household chores, tending the garden are just a few examples.
  
  There just aren’t enough hours in the day for evening classes or reading text books and making notes. We couldn’t fit that in.
  
  Well if you’re one of these busy people you’re in luck, because audio books will fit into your life very easily and pretty much do it for you.
  
  Think of everything you have to do in life and consider how many of those activities you could do while listening to an audio book.
  
  They’re not intrusive at all, just a tiny audioplayer in your shirt pocket and a couple of small earpieces in your ears.
  
  If you think about it, there are many hours of everyone’s day when we’re doing things which could be doubled up with studying a language with the aid of audiobooks.
  
  That way, you’d actually look forward to the boring tasks we all have to do every day, because while you’re doing them you could be mastering your skills in a new language.
  
  Most people’s journey to and from work adds up to at least two hours a day, but for many others it will be a lot more.
  
  Maybe an hour for lunch at work. Cooking and housework at home could be another two hours, and perhaps an hour exercising.
  
  That’s six whole hours a day, 30 hours a week, 120 hours every month, when you could be studying that language you always wanted to learn.
  
  And you don’t have to restrict your audio book listening just to when you’re busy and on the go.
  
  Even relaxation, and all-important activity in itself, can be done while listening to a language audiobook.
  
  You can close your eyes, really relax your whole body completely, and focus one hundred percent on the words you’re listening to.
  
  And according to scientific research, even if you fall asleep, your sub-conscious mind will still be taking what you hear in, processing it and storing it away.
  
  If you're looking for love with a foreign guy or girl, you’ll get on the right track with a little preparation using a language audiobook.
  
  And just imagine being able to effortlessly order food and wine at the poshest foreign restaurants, either in your home country or overseas.
  
  Trips to your favourite foreign countries will be so much more enjoyable if you can speak and understand the language.
  
  You will be accepted by the people because they’ll respect your efforts to fit in.
  
  It could also improve your career prospects, as many employers these days are looking for business people with language skills.
  
  Learning another language really does open doors for you, and now it has never been easier, thanks to audiobooks.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, uselessness said: Well, we're talking about audiobooks more and more these days, anyway. ;-)
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, reesetee said: We lerve you too, John--and thanks for the data. HA! Take that, mi-vox!
  
  By the way, people are talking about audiobooks more and more these days, but many aren’t aware of what material you can get on them. Or...you know...something.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, john said: Wordies, I love you. I *lerve* you. This conversation, or whatever it is, was streaming by in the comments, and I didn't drop in earlier because I didn't realize how fucking hysterical it was, just seeing bits and chunks.
  
  An amusing aside: Wordie has a Google Page Rank of 5 (higher is better), and an Alexa rank of around 156,000 (lower is better). The Mi-Vox site has a Page Rank of 3, and an Alexa rank of ~1,174,000.
  
  Which means anyone actually hunting for Mi-Vox on the web will probably end up here. And be confused, to say the least. Yep, just confirmed that--this profile is on the 2nd page of Google results, and mi-vox.com isn't on there at all. So by posting spam, what our friend seems to have done is further obscure their own web site :-)
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, yarb said: Mi-vox, I think I love you. Same time tomorrow?
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, uselessness said: mi-vox, you have a profound effect on my emotions. Well done, sir.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, reesetee said: Thanks, a. Someone has to do the dirty work.
  ;-)
  
  Sionnach, my incontinence pants are...er...well, they're not available right now. *looking away*
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, arcadia said: hey reesetee-- that's some pretty sexy editing. Way funny. I totally overlooked the typo my first read, if it WAS a typo...
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, sionnach said: r_t: I imagine you will want to wear your incontinence pants when you go ask your boss for that rise. Be .... all that you can be....
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, reesetee said: Oooh! I want to ask my boss for a rise! After all, I do really need to ‘perform’ with my usual confidence in order to get the outcome I want.
  
  I never knew comedy had such a profound effect on human emotions.
  
  Somebody, grab my hand! I'm getting sucked innnnnnnn....
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, sionnach said: Oh mi-Vox! Your latest billet-doux just moves me to a frenzy of lyrical Irish Whimsy. 34.1% grumpy Celtic river-troll, 17.2% Shetland selkie, 35% deranged postmodern disciple of Derrida and guaranteed minimum 5% desiccated insect parts, my hilarious garrulosity and garrulous hilarity would shock and amuse you.
  
  But someone has stolen my laptop while I was in the bathroom.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, arcadia said: Wait, this could be good. I've always wanted to "sparkle and shine like the star" I "really" am.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, arcadia said: Oh Mi-Vox, will you ever win?
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, mi-vox said: People are talking about audiobooks more and more these days, but many aren’t aware of what material you can get on them. In fact there’s a very interesting and varied range of topics covered, and audiobooks showcasing stand-up comedians are one of the biggest sellers right now.
  
  There are many reasons why this type of audio book is so popular. This is because comedy has such a profound effect on human emotions.
  
  Comedy audiobooks are excellent for alleviating boredom when travelling, waiting for someone, exercising, cooking, doing office work, washing clothes, cleaning and tidying, the list is endless. Having a chuckle will make the time fly by, keep you motivated and productively on track.
  
  There are many situations where we can get stressed, nervous, and unhappy. You may have missed your train, be sitting in a waiting room for a doctor or dentist, recovering from illness, injury, disappointment, shock or bereavement.
  
  Having a laugh will help you through sad, difficult, depressing times. A comedy audiobook will lift your spirits and help you keep the blues at bay.
  
  There are other situations which are stressful, but you really need to ‘perform’ with your usual confidence in order to get the outcome you want.
  
  You could be going on a first date, appearing on stage, going to an interview, an appraisal, a tricky meeting, or asking your boss for a rise. Having a laugh will remove your feelings of unease and calm your nerves so you sparkle and shine like the star you really are, and get the result you really want.
  
  Audio books enable you to walk around listening to some of the world’s top stand-up comedians on stage at the height of their powers. Imagine the effect that will have on your mood.
  
  The mighty Billy Connolly in all his full-on, manic, hilarious glory will have you in stitches. Billy's full-flight school of delivery is unrelenting and comes at you like a Highland warrior in the heat of battle. Much of his material is autobiographical, dealing especially with his childhood in Glasgow, Scotland. Big Slipper and Incontinence Pants are a couple of his best sketches.
  
  The surreal humour of Bill Bailey will really put a smile on your face. With his thin goatee beard, Bill calls himself "half troll", and "confused hippy". He appeared on the British comedy TV show Black Books, and entertains brilliantly as a personality on British TV panel games and chat-shows. Bill makes regular appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, QI, and Have I Got News for You.
  
  If you enjoy wry observation, listen to the Irish stand-up comedy genius Dylan Moran. Dylan is known for his effortless comedy brilliance, and his hilarious world-weary attitude. His often apparent drunkenness and his somewhat grumpy but warm and engaging delivery make him very similar to Dave Allen from the 1970s and Eighties. With a rich vocabulary, Moran has a surreal way of expressing things, accompanied by a wonderful lyrical Irish Whimsy. He just speaks his mind, whatever his mind may be saying at the time.
  
  With audio books like these, you’ll be able to banish feelings of boredom, stress and unhappiness, and enjoy a happier, more confident and productive mental state.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, sionnach said: Now we know what those genius Madison Avenue guys on "Mad Men" have been toiling on all season. This genius campaign, clearly targeted at the sophisticated consumer of the 60's.
  
  Where 'sophisticated' means 'experiences difficulty in completing such challenging tasks as reading in the bathroom, walking while carrying a book, reading under an overhead light, or - heaven forfend - holding a book with both hands'. In fact, these target consumers are a bit of a mystery bunch, all things considered. Why the nightmarish obsession with where to place their extremities - why do they need a surface to store their hands? More puzzlingly, why would a mi-vox suddenly eliminate that need? What sort of 'reader' has a *wristband* on their shorts, trunks, or bikini bottoms? Could we, in fact, be talking about some kind of hideously deformed flipper-people?
  
  Then there's the tormenting inability to remember their place in a book, given even the slightest interruption. The Flying Dutchmen of the reading community, they are doomed to live out a Sisyphean fate, never actually making it past page 3 of 'Valley of the Dolls'. I would respectfully submit that the most useful accessory for these folks to bring on a plane would be Annie Sullivan. Or perhaps the ads are targeting the community of sun-worshipping goldfish with literary aspirations.
  
  Regardless of the murkiness surrounding the target consumer profile, the ad copy pertaining to both the sun-worshipping hedonists and the cosmopolitan airgonauts clearly harkens back to a kinder, gentler era. A time when melanoma was just an island in the Pacific, where in-flight 'meals' were 'served' to 'passengers', who - upon arriving at their destination - *wrote postcards* and *nibbled on snacks*.
  
  Obviously we are talking about the late 60's or early 70's here. Where the revolutionary technological advance is, of course -- the Sony Walkman. It will start up just where you left off, every time - even if you change the batteries. It's so compact and light.
  
  Oh mi-vox. Why do you hide behind the hoochie-coochie dance of the Mad Avenue huckster? WE understand that you may have many, many Walkmen in back inventory. But here's the thing - by now, even the semi-literate goldfish at which your little seductions are aimed already has a personalized version of your quarter-century old technological breakthrough. WE don't need no stinking Walkmen.
  
  Now, if only I had a surface on which to rest my flippers....
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, reesetee said: Two words, skipvia: luncheon meats.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, arcadia said: OK, "The player itself can lie next to you or tucked under ...bikini bottoms"??? What? That's awesome!
  
  --sionnach, --yarb, --uselessness, you guys are KILLING me. These parodies are BRILLIANT. I like our new friend. I vote to keep him!
  
  
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, skipvia said: The wordie treatment can be something to behold.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, jennarenn said: Yeah, John usually cleans these things up. He'll probably leave this one since other wordies have been having fun with it.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, thesuperiorbeing said: Isn't there some sort of rule that says you can't advertise stuff with a profile? I know there is on other sites.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, yarb said: Reading a book while sunbathing sounds like an absolutely horrific experience! In a sense, mi-vox is not only convenient, but an essential piece of safety equipment for beach-goers.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, sionnach said: Oh mi-vox. I'm so ashamed. At first I wanted to hate you for your cold impersonal ways. But how can I not fall prey to your sly humor? I am hoping that your next missive will contain the answer to two of my most pressing unsatisfied reading needs:
  
  1. I like to get a headstart on my tanning while I'm in the airplane. But my hands get tired from all that rubbing suntan lotion under my bikini straps. Is this a functionality that can be outsourced to the mi-vox?
  
  2. Also (very important). DO YOU HAVE A VIBRATE MODE?
  
  (You know, like a Braille version, for the blind readers)
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, jennarenn said: Dang it, u. There's tea all over my roommate's couch and she's gonna be stinkin' ticked!
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, reesetee said: No encouragement, yarb.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, uselessness said: Looking for a friend? Have you considered audiobooks? Modern audiobooks are excellent companions, especially during these cold winter months.
  
  If you live in the southern hemisphere, the lightweight mi-vox can help you beat the January heat! Imagine, all your favorite surfers' biographies in one small package. You might think an enjoyable audiobook friendship is a thing of the future, but the future is today.
  
  Audiobooks make lovely companions. Perhaps you've heard of Mr. Walter Chestershire of London? Walter has been best mates with his audiobook for nearly a year. He tells us that his experience has been enjoyable and relaxing. The two will be wed in a small ceremony in Essex this July. Now you too can discover lasting love, with an audiobook!
  
  Sonia Marshall of Breckenridge reports that she sometimes spends the evening with three audiobooks at once! It's a sordid affair, to be sure, but an audiobook doesn't become jealous. Sonia says it's the best tryst she's ever had. Don't worry, Sonia, we won't tell. Except for just now. Sorry!
  
  Audiobooks: The Best Friend You Never Had (Or Maybe More).
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, yarb said: I'm loving this new kind of discursive, almost literary spam.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, mi-vox said: When you’re going on holiday, don’t forget to take an audio book with you.
  
  What is it about audiobooks that makes them such good holiday companions?
  
  The thing is, the most modern audiobooks of today have developed to an interesting stage.
  
  The current state of the art is audiobooks that are minute and lightweight that come complete with a battery and earpieces.
  
  But although they’re small, each one can hold many hours of sound recording.
  
  When you’re sunbathing, the priority is exposing your skin to the sun while protecting it with sufficient sun-block, and your eyes with sunglasses.
  
  These priorities actually fight against the requirements for reading, where your eyes need to focus on fine print and your hands need to hold the book, magazine or newspaper so you can read it.
  
  Sometimes sunbathers use the reading material as a kind of sunshade over their face and try and read that way, lying on their back with their sunglasses off, holding the book aloft.
  
  Your eyes will be squinting and under strain. Also the sun won’t be getting to your face as it should be if you’re aiming to get an even tan.
  
  Your arms will get tired from holding the book, and the sunscreen from your hands will stain the book cover and pages.
  
  After a while your arms get so tired that you have to turn over on your stomach.
  
  But in this position your eyes will get strained looking at a white page which is reflecting the sun’s rays. And you’ll have to prop yourself up on your elbows to read, which will again tire your arms after a while.
  
  Audiobooks completely eliminate these problems. Listening through light earpieces, there’s nothing to hold and nothing to read. The player itself can lie next to you or tucked under the wristband of your shorts, trunks or bikini bottoms, leaving your hands free.
  
  You can close your eyes, really relax your whole body completely, and focus one hundred percent on the story you’re listening to.
  
  You can turn over without interrupting the story. Rub more sun-block in, sip a drink, nibble a snack, write a postcard, all while carrying on listening. If you need to get up and walk around, that’s fine too.
  
  When you feel you’d like to take a break from listening, all you have to do is touch a button on the audiobook player and it will stop, marking the exact place where you need to pick up the story again.
  
  The current breed of up to date audiobooks incorporate a clever bookmarking function which enables you to go back to the exact place that you left the story.
  
  This will even happen if the battery stops working. This is a huge advantage over reading materials where, if someone talks to you, the chances are that you lose our place and find it quite hard to get back to where you stopped reading.
  
  Today’s audiobooks are so small and unobtrusive. One of them can hold dozens of CDs worth of material or what is equal to a very large conventional book.
  
  Soon, audiobooks will be on every holidaymaker’s check-list. A must-have, essential item just like your swimming costume, sunglasses and sun-block, but a whole lot more interesting and entertaining.
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, reesetee said: Mi-vox, do you have words to add or are you just here to advertise?
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, yarb said: HA ha ha ha. Can I pay installments?
• about 1 year, 10 months ago, mi-vox said: If you’re taking a flight, an audio book is one of the best possible things to have with you.
  
  On the flight you’ll have some time to yourself. Depending on the flight it will be anywhere from one hour to twenty.
  
  Office papers and laptops just get in the way on flights. And there’s the risk of your laptop being stolen when you go to the bathroom. Conventional reading materials have their own set of problems too.
  
  So why are audio books so good on flights? Well, audio book technology really has come a long way. The latest audio books are small and light and come supplied with earphones and a battery. Room is at a premium on flights. Books, magazines and newspapers are difficult to handle and get in the way.
  
  With these kinds of reading materials, when food arrives you have to interrupt your reading and get your book out of the way for the food and drinks. Also, at a certain point the cabin lights will be turned off to encourage the passengers to sleep. At this time, if you want to carry on reading you have to try to read with a small overhead light which is quite a difficult task.
  
  To those air travellers in the know, the latest compact audiobooks get round all these problems straight away. They fit in your shirt pocket and have light earpieces. Your hands are free and they don’t need a surface to be placed on.
  
  So food and drinks can be brought to you, eaten and cleared away while you continue listening uninterrupted. If the lights are turned off for people to sleep and you want to continue with the story, no problem. As you’re listening to it and not reading, you don’t need any light at all. If you do feel drowsy and want to stop listening, you just have to press a button on the player and it will stop, while bookmarking your place for you.
  
  Yes, the latest audio books have a special bookmarking facility which automatically records where you stopped, even if the battery runs out. We all know the problem with reading materials when we get interrupted or need to take a break. We often lose our place and have difficulty knowing where we were.
  
  If you want to keep listening for as long as possible, you can do so while you get up and walk around the plane to boost your circulation or go to the bathroom. Even if you were clever enough to be able to do these things while reading a book, you’d certainly get some funny looks. Not so with a couple of unobtrusive earpieces in your ears.
  
  Because modern audio books are so compact and light, you can have the equivalent of many conventional books in your hand luggage. So you can laugh along with your favourite stand-up comedian or humorous sit-com, learn another language, or hear the latest blockbuster novel read to you by a professional cast with music and sound effects and great sound quality.