Second-Best

We Shudder at the Thought of the Second-Best Moment 9: 19 PM: Best moment of the night: Sen. Reid 's awkward impromptu discussion of mechanics of colonoscopy.

Pot, Meet Kettle James Taranto 2010

No. He was always going to be Kellen the Second-Best, Kellen the Embarrassment.

Tran Siberian Michael J. Solender 2010

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world, so why are you already looking ahead to the senior tour on ESPN2?

The Lost Generation 2008

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world, and HE doesn't even know you're the guy paired with him today, but already you're thinking that maybe, just maybe, HE can't play a Scottish links course all that well the first time, in a few weeks, so there's at least one tournament all year I got an outside chance in.

The Lost Generation 2008

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world, but away from a tournament city, you can't even get a good table at a steakhouse, because nobody knows you from the Culligan Man, but already HIS mother has a Q-rating higher than Tea Leoni or Craig T. Nelson and HIS father just sold his book to Miramax.

The Lost Generation 2008

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world, longtime par-busting star of the tour, and suddenly you realize there is no "tour."

The Lost Generation 2008

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world and when you arrive at the tournament, everybody tells you, isn't it wonderful because HE will actually play here this week.

The Lost Generation 2008

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world and you thought you had a really rich contract with Titleist or Callaway or somebody, but now it's chump change compared to what HE's got.

The Lost Generation 2008

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world, and you remember when you made your first 36-hole cut at a tournament, won $640 for finishing tied for 24th place, went out and applied for an American Express card.

The Lost Generation 2008

You're The Second-Best Golfer in the world, and your agent keeps telling you that if you just put a little snap in your best Arnold Palmer anecdotes, you can maybe get a shot on Leno or Letterman, or, for sure, a pop on Tom Snyder ... but HE's already done Oprah and Barbara Walters and turned down the president.

The Lost Generation 2008