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Merchant accounts and credit card processing at the guaranteed lowest price. Small, home based, and Internet businesses welcome. Full range of e-commerce solutions. Shop us first - or last, our prices can\'t be beaten!
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And OrbitMerchants doesn't talk to me. Where's the customer service OrbitMerchants? It's not often a company as minuscule as yours has a chance to build a relationship with a fast growing babes & vegetables porn site like mine.
If they would show a little customer service here Pro & quote me prices for my x-rated hot babe/vegetable video site, I could compare. But there showing me NO customer service at all - none, zero, zip.
OrbitMerchants - there's something "out there" about that name. Like spacey, you know, like a dark planet full of dead merchants seeking solutions - but there are no solutions, just death, just dead merchants. What a grisly company OrbitMerchants is!
I'm trying to help these credit card processing bozos Pro, & are they listening? Are they reaching out and thanking me? No! What the hell kind of service is this! Hey OrbitMerchants, where's the customer service here?
"Squalid internet videos/OrbitMerchants. That has a better ring to it. Squalid Merchant Solutions - wow! There's a big market for credit card processing solutions for X-rated sites. C'mon Orbit/Squalid Merchants, I'm opening a door for you here, a door to fabulous riches.
My stuff will fly off the shelf OrbitMerchants, you will make so much money working with me! When people think "dirty internet videos", I want them to think OrbitMerchantSolutions. This is going to be big! Please check in & answer my inquiries here.
Hey, you all be nice to OrbitMerchantSolutions - they may be ok guys. Say OrbitMerchants, I'm starting a porn video site featuring hot babes interacting with common garden vegetables, & I heard OrbitMerchant is the premier supplier of merchant accounts to porn sites.
How do I contact you about getting my own merchant account for my xxx-rated site?
I respectfully love and despise you all for playing into the hands of spam and putting this godawful thing all over the front page!
(It's mostly love, but really: I felt actual contempt for this list when I saw it. Spam popping up in places I'm attached to is incredibly bothersome, and the prospect of a gaping spam-hole on Wordie scares me; leaving cute comments instead of deleting it does absolutely nothing to discourage it — it's an eyesore, and a mindsore, and and, and.. help.)
My first impulse on greeting the flap-jawed pithnoggin in the wild is to delete hir, but I don't want to deny anyone the cathartic pleasure of defacing a spammer, and the equally piquant joy of watching our spitballs supplant the spammer's own pages in Gooble. But, as we learned with our last party crasher, they can take away our fun by deleting their own lists*.
Shall we vote? Death by deletion, or subject them to the dreaded Wordie treatment?
* though the deleted list in question was actually archived by one of us, and will rise again one day on Errata :-)