vampire pumpkins and watermelons love

vampire pumpkins and watermelons

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  • "The belief in vampire fruit is similar to the belief that any inanimate object left outside during the night of a full moon will become a vampire. According to tradition, watermelons or any kind of pumpkin kept more than ten days or after Christmas will become a vampire, rolling around on the ground and growling to pester the living. People have little fear of the vampire pumpkins and melons because of the creatures' lack of teeth. One of the main indications that a pumpkin or melon is about to undergo a vampiric transformation (or has just completed one) is said to be the appearance of a drop of blood on its skin."

    -- Wikipedia (link)

    September 28, 2011

  • I have two reactions to this remarkable excerpt brought to us by 'zuzu.

    1. What is up with you? You seem to be reading your way through wikipedia. This cannot end well.

    2. The text you quote is remarkably silent regarding the vegetable lamb of Tartary. Suspiciously so.

    September 28, 2011

  • Ha--I'm just working up some ideas for another mashup-style book in the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies vein. (You'll want to watch for the Steinkirk scene in "It's the Great Vampire Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!")

    September 28, 2011

  • Can anyone think of a genre of literature or film that is consistently more awful, ridiculous and bowel-cleansingly cheesy than vampires? Seriously?

    September 29, 2011

  • You're obviously not a fan of Joss Whedon. That's okay. In turn, I won't mention Australian soap operas or Mel Gibson's later work.

    September 29, 2011

  • By all means mention soap operas, though I doubt Australia can claim world-leading awfullage (much as we try). Brazil? Syria? Nepal? Surely there's quality dross being hoisted on the airwaves in Burkina Faso?

    I don't know about your expectations of Gibson. Wasn't it obvious from The Bounty that he couldn't act his way out of a paper bag?

    September 29, 2011

  • ’zu: Are you saying your book will be like ITGPCB, but Hallowe’enier? I’m totally Bram Stokered.

    To be fair to bilby, you must admit that Buffy works by acknowledging and exploiting precisely the flaws he cites (and more). (And because Dross* Joss W. is brilliant.)

    ’nach: A nice thing about Wikipedia is that on second reading, it seems like an entirely different book.

    * Shaking fist Curse you, bilby!

    September 29, 2011

  • Leaden: My goal is to create a subtle but subversive mockery of the Hollowiener Fest genre.

    Bilby: I liked him in The Year of Living Dangerously, but I haven't seen The Bounty.

    September 29, 2011

  • Mad Mel made a Bounty commercial! Who knew?

    September 29, 2011

  • Imagine being savaged by a watermelon. Bilby I'm surprised you treat the subject so lightly.

    September 29, 2011

  • In early films there's also 'Tim' where Gibson plays a slightly daft young man. Spoiler: Tim does nothing, slightly daftly, for 109 minutes. As it turns out Gibson was much better at being thoroughly retarded in his private life.

    yarb: I have been, see gasometer.

    September 29, 2011

  • Thank God for Gallagher the Watermelon Slayer.

    September 29, 2011

  • Meanwhile,the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention anticipate more victims. Listeria-tainted canteloupes in this case.

    September 29, 2011

  • Somewhere on Wikipedia there's mention of the fact that watermelons aren't in the Cucumis genus--I think the infections have less to do with vampires and more do to with canteloup-garous (the dreaded werecantaloupes).

    September 29, 2011

  • Oh no. Not the dreaded werecantaloupes!

    aiee! flee flee!

    September 29, 2011

  • Sionnach, I find your comment about the vegetable lamb of Tartary to be remarkably unbrackety.

    October 3, 2011

  • I'm back in read-all-of-wikipedia mode. See Umm Nyolokh.

    March 20, 2014