Zorbeez

Sadly, regarding the soaking up of toxic assets, the TARP et al. programs are more likely to work about as well as Mays 'Zorbeez, which is to say not at all.

Reason Magazine - Hit & Run 2009

After one use, the Zorbeez began shedding fibrous blonde tufts, while the Shamwow retained its rubbery integrity.

Archive 2009-03-22 Tyler 2009

A cold-water rinse of the beer-soaked rags caused heavy saturation of the Zorbeez, but the Shamwow sprung back after wringing and seemed to have already shed most of the moisture.

See, THIS is the kind of stuff that science should be testing Tyler 2009

After one use, the Zorbeez began shedding fibrous blonde tufts, while the Shamwow retained its rubbery integrity.

See, THIS is the kind of stuff that science should be testing Tyler 2009

Dry times in the sun proved otherwise — after 5 hours in cool air, the Zorbeez had become dryer than the damp Shamwow, though neither clammy rag felt ready for storage.

Archive 2009-03-22 Tyler 2009

Perhaps the Zorbeez simply has more refined taste.

Archive 2009-03-22 Tyler 2009

We threw each rag into two deck chairs wet with puddles of melted snow — the Zorbeez sloshed some out on the ground while the Shamwow sucked it up as if with a straw.

Archive 2009-03-22 Tyler 2009

Within a day of me posting the Shamwow vs. Zorbeez comparison, news broke that Vince the Shamwow Guy recently got busted for punching a hooker in the face.

Archive 2009-03-22 Tyler 2009

The Shamwow soaked three paper towels 'worth of blueberry beer on a single swipe, but the Zorbeez pushed the liquid off the edge of the table.

See, THIS is the kind of stuff that science should be testing Tyler 2009

We threw each rag into two deck chairs wet with puddles of melted snow — the Zorbeez sloshed some out on the ground while the Shamwow sucked it up as if with a straw.

See, THIS is the kind of stuff that science should be testing Tyler 2009