a john simon compendium love

a john simon compendium


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  • writing about Barbra Streisand: She looks like a cross between an aardvark and an albino rat surmounted by a platinum-coated horse bun.

    February 6, 2010

  • Diana Rigg is built like a brick mausoleum with insufficient flying buttresses.

    February 6, 2010

  • An acting style that's really a nervous breakdown in slow motion (referring to Diane Keaton)

    February 6, 2010

  • "I always thought Miss Minnelli's face deserving — of first prize in the beagle category. It is a face going off in three directions simultaneously: the nose always en route to becoming a trunk, blubber lips unable to resist the pull of gravity, and a chin trying its damnedest to withdraw into the neck."

    February 6, 2010

  • Can we find ourselves a picture of this John Simon and go to town on his appearance?

    February 6, 2010

  • *scared that john simon will find a photo of me...*

    February 7, 2010