featherie maker love

featherie maker

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  • More rabbit warrens are being ruined than ever before as a new craze sweeps the land: golf.

    It is said that a fine gentleman wearing only the most outrageous clothes can hit a golf ball, or featherie, a stunning 100 yards. Of course, most fine gentlemen, no matter how stupendously dressed, are rotten drivers, and most featheries find their way into the nearest pond or bush rather than the hole. The boom in golf and the demand for balls has created this lucrative post.

    After bringing several pints of bird feathers to the boil, you can enjoy their aroma as you set to cutting and stitching the skin of the leather ball. Leaving just the tiniest of holes, you then commence stuffing the ball with the wet feathers. The finished article may look like a meatball, but give it a few days to dry and the leather will shrink and the feathers harden. A final ducking in some healthy white lead paint (see above) and you're done.

    The questionable British weather will put more business your way as the balls soon re-assume their meatball state after rolling just a few yards on wet grass, so cash in on this new sporting fad.

    July 8, 2008