femmeness

I think that people who think liking femmy men is D/s play (where presumably the men are the submissives, since their femme-ness is chosen, while your femmeness (and I have no clue if you are actually at all femme) is inherent in your being female bodied) would be shocked by the suggestion that women liking men who wear generic macho identifiers are liking actual power dynamics.

Bondage and Patriarchy 2006

Being fat, my sexuality is not celebrated or recognized in mainstream society, because fat people are not supposed to be sexual … in queer contexts, however when other queers perceive my femmeness as queer, I feel quite different.

OUR BODIES, OURSELVES The Boston Women’s Health Book Collective 2005