"The more religious had gone to mass at RHQ. I didn't. I was a bad Catholic and I didn't want to spoil my fine record. I wanted to be like my father. All his life he totally ignored his religion, but when he's told he's dying, suddenly! it's Good Catholic Time! 'Call a Priest,' he says. 'No, wait, call a Bishop.'"
- Spike Milligan, 'Mussolini: My Part In His Downfall.'