I thought you'd cracked quite a while ago, c_b. ;->
And this is serious stuff. I heard not one chuckle from nearby cubicles after this notice came through. Maybe everyone had too much popcorn smoke in their eyes to fully understand the repercussions of this draconian measure.
Since there has been a couple incidents of microwaving popcorn creating strong odors and smoke and just recently the Fire Department was called in response to smoke detector alarms going off from burning popcorn it has been concluded there will be no more microwaving popcorn in our offices. This does not prohibit anyone from bringing in popcorn that has been popped or microwaved from another location but please refrain from using our microwaves for the purpose of making popcorn. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding with this new policy.
Business idea: Pop 100 bags of popcorn weekly and bring them to work to sell to coworkers.