I got to "heavily bearded man" before it even crossed my mind that there may be a joke here somewhere, and "fecally incontinent" before I checked the author of the comment and connected it to other recent Wordie posts. It's late and my brain is slow.
Authorities at Barajas airport in Madrid reported a baffling incident earlier this morning. A passenger arriving from the United States was briefly detained when a routine customs check indicated that she was attempting to introduce a number of unquarantined animals into the country. After a warning, the passenger was let go, and the animals sequestered in the quarantine facility at Barajas.
However, an hour later, under mysterious circumstances, following a heated altercation with a heavily bearded man at the main office of the quarantine facility, it was discovered that the animals in question had been "liberated" and could no longer be accounted for. Authorities now believe that the bearded stranger was in fact acting as a distraction while his attractive female accomplice was engaged in liberating the animals in question.
An all points bulletin has been issued to residents of the autonomous community of Madrid to be on the alert for a number of fecally incontinent animals, who may be travelling as a gang, or who may possibly have split up and be travelling solo, possibly disguised as candy spokesbeasts. The animals are not believed to be violent and may respond to snacks of jelly beans or other similar candy treats.
Authorities remain baffled by the incident, but stress that there is no cause for general alarm.