portable holes love


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  • "'There's a fortune awaiting the man who can invent portable holes. Edgington says this with a strained voice as he hurls a shovel of mud. There is a pause, then I sing:

    Oles ... Portable 'Oleeees

    They'd be useful to all the troops

    including the Poles.

    Yes we need 'oless, portable 'oles.

    I'm stuck for words, so Edgington continues:

    It would save us all for havin'

    to dig like bloody moles.

    He's stuck, I continue:

    Shovelling lumps of mud

    Is very bad for me.

    When I started I was six foot one

    But now I'm four foot three.


    - Spike Milligan, 'Mussolini: My Part In His Downfall'.

    April 25, 2009