"This is to officially inform you that a foreign bank from West Africa have transferred funds worth Millions of United States Dollars with your name as the beneficiary. This foreign bank knows that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from their location to your account and therefore they used what is known as Secret Diplomatic Transit Payment (S.T.D.P) to do this transfer and they are currently awaiting a confirmation from you for final crediting to your account. Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities, so if you are not intending to finance terrorism and your transaction is legitimate, why then did you agree to receive these funds through this means that was used instead of a direct transfer to your account?"
Alright, you've got me cold. But at least I can spell acronyms.