symphonic approximation love

symphonic approximation


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  • thanks to king missile, of "detachable penis" fame:

    I will slur, and heel, and hem and haw..

    I will eat a monkey paw..

    when you call me up, and command me to come over to your house

    for sex and tea biscuits..

    I shall clandestinely drop my cummerbund down the dumbwaiter chute.

    Lutes will serenade us like liquid lemonade,

    you will glisten, like newborn snow,

    and I will listen, like a clairvoyant nipple clamp.

    It will be sex like nobody has ever had it before in the history of postmodern lovemaking:

    It will be sex, even if it isn't

    It will be sex, even if only in theory

    Even if it's only pantomime

    Even if it's just a memory, or a dream

    or a symphonic approximation..

    after a summer of autonomous sodomy and National Geographic specials

    about pretty animals that use other little animals as food

    by eating them, on television..

    But we shouldn't even watch television!

    We should just have sex:

    epoch-making, earth-shaking

    teeth-chattering, dish-clattering

    fish-frying, eye-popping

    never-stopping, bunny-hopping

    toe-tapping, Joseph Papping sex —

    Shakespeare-in-the-park kind of sex!

    D-train-ride-to-Coney-Island-vacation kind of sex!

    Clandestine-in-the-airplane-lavatory kind of sex!

    Olympic marathon sex!

    All the different ways that we feel like having sex, we should

    until we grow old, and bored, and disillusioned*.

    Then, let us rekindle our feelings,

    forget our despair and our celibate nonsense,

    and do it like bunnyrats 'til the cows come home to roost.

    So call me sometime, and let's have sex.

    *misused! but we'll forgive them.

    July 26, 2008