"Condoleezza 'Condi' Rice (born November 14, 1954) is the 66th United States Secretary of State, former National Security Advisor, self-loathing African-American, spectacularly incompetent foreign affairs expert, international war criminal, and a dick.
Before joining the Bush administration, she was a professor of political science at Stanford University where she served as Provost from 1993 to 1999. Tragically for the rest of the world, she chose to leave the confines of academia, where, unlike Washington, the results of incompetence are not death and destruction, but a larger office, tenure and a few grad students.
During her time as Secretary of State, Rice pioneered something called Transformational Diplomacy, a doctrine in which a stable country is transformed into a bloody, failed state soaked in blood, death and tragedy. Many experts agree that Rice's tenure will be looked back on as the most successful example of Transformational Diplomacy in world history."