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  • Examples:

    Willie, with a thirst for gore,

    nailed his sister to the door.

    His mother said, with humor quaint,

    "Willie, dear, don't scratch the paint!"


    Down the family wishing well

    Willie pushed his sister Nell.

    She's there yet, because it kilt her.

    Now we have to buy a filter.


    Willie saw some dynamite.

    Couldn't understand it quite.

    Curiosity seldom pays.

    It rained Willie seven days.

    February 8, 2009

  • Little Willie, full of glee,

    Put radium in grandma's tea.

    Now he thinks it quite a lark

    To see her shining in the dark.

    Willie looking in the gun

    Pulls the trigger just for fun.

    Mother says in tones so pained,

    "Willie is so scatter-brained"

    Little Willie, wrapped in sashes,

    Fell in the fire and burned to ashes.

    Now the house grows damp and chilly,

    Because we haven't the heart to poke poor Willie.

    Little Willie, mean as hell

    Drowned his sister in the well.

    Mother said, while drawing water,

    "Gee, it's hard to raise a daughter."

    Little Willie found a mirror,

    Went and sucked the mercury off,

    Thinking in his childish error,

    It would cure his whooping cough.

    At the funeral, Willie's mother

    Sadly said to Mrs. Brown,

    "'Twas a chilly day for Willie

    When the mercury went down."

    Willie poisoned Auntie's tea

    Auntie died in agony.

    Uncle came and looked quite vexed.

    "Really, Will," he said, "what next?"

    February 8, 2009

  • Poking around the web reveals that these are more commonly known as little willies. Apparently they were very popular early in the 20th century. First examples seem to be from a writer called Harry Graham, who included them in a collection of his called "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes".

    Ruthless Rhymes

    February 8, 2009

  • Better than a wet willy (licking your finger and sticking it in somebody's ear).

    February 11, 2009

  • Is not.

    February 11, 2009

  • "'Twas a chilly day for Willie

    When the mercury went down."

    I do believe an ancestor of mine quoted that now and then. Don't remember the context, but I always thought it was amusing even without knowing the long, sad tail of Willie.

    February 11, 2009

  • Another Harry Graham gem -

    L’Enfant Glacé

    When Baby's cries grew hard to bear

    I popped him in the Frigidaire.

    I never would have done so if

    I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff.

    My wife said: 'George, I'm so unhappé!

    Our darling's now completely frappé!

    February 12, 2009

  • I have enjoyed the Wee Willies, sionnach. Thanks for posting them.

    February 12, 2009