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reesetee commented on the word an individual who knows pizza
I happen to be one of these, if I do say so myself. :-)
November 16, 2007
palooka commented on the word an individual who knows pizza
I'll email you the help wanted ad reesetee. Can you meet tight deadlines & thrive on pressure? Pizza is a rough & tumble business. Are you adept at handling anchovies?
Are you kidding? I am always the best at everything I do, I have a proven track record, help build excitement, and own an appropriate vehicle. Not only that, I can stoop, kneel, crouch, or crawl if that's what it takes to get the pizza made. My crackerjack skills will change your life!
But I really hate anchovies, so if that's a deal breaker, why.... *shrugs*
This could be your opportunity reesetee! Sounds like you have a burning desire to succeed. We want people with passion, especially if they're passionate about having no medical or retirement benefits. Are you able to wear a uniform and work in the US? Don't forget to bring your mother; moms are welcome here too.
Oh...well...my mom probably can't come along. She's watching the Steelers. (So please, no phone calls). However, I would like to come sell something exciting! Is it a multicultural, multilingual setting?
Yes, we embrace diversity. However background checks are conducted so don't be too diverse!
November 17, 2007
Who's diversity? Do I have to embrace him/her? After all, my resume demonstrates (only at the occasional march on the Capitol). I do sit for extended periods of time, as you probably know, and I am capable of performing, but I'll have to bring my tap shoes.
Embracing diverse co-workers does help build excitement within our company - you'll be eager to learn more about that.
Tap shoes are not necessary, but you must have truck and tools (pizza cutters for instance are not provided).
You know reesetee, I'm seeking money-motivated superstars dammit, people who really want to get rich! Get on the train reesetee, get on palooka pizza's money train! Don't be left standing in the station - please contact Tammy NOW!
chained_bear commented on the word an individual who knows pizza
Don't forget, it's an exciting opportunity for self-starters to get in on the ground floor of a rapidly growing business!
(And why's she always named Tammy?!)
So I contacted Tammy (NOW!). I told her I had a proven track-record and wanted to come sell something exciting! She said, "We pay weekly. If you have the stuff we'll know."
I said, "Stuff? I don't do drugs." She said, "Do you have the ability to work cross-functionally?" "What?" I said.
"Spanish is a plus," she replied. "You are a seasoned listener." "Excuse me?" I said.
"Wanted: people with passion and a genuine interest in dogs." "For a pizza joint?" I asked.
"Please no phone calls," she said, and hung up.
So I'm still searching the want ads....
November 30, 2007
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