big fuck-off yellow underwater light transformer love

big fuck-off yellow underwater light transformer


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  • gangerh, you promised you would have explained this one...

    June 6, 2008

  • I did, 'gus, and I fear it may disappoint. I have no idea what this list is all about, but simply from seeing the early entries this phrase sprang to mind. Feel free to delete if it doesn't fit.

    Some years ago I arranged an inter-club match at my village cricket club, The Heathens - a first of its kind for the club and destined to be an annual event.

    On the morning of the fixture it came to mind that there ought to be a trophy for the man of the match. But where to get one at short notice on a Sunday morning?

    I had recently exited the swimming pool business and lurking in my garage among many assorted leftovers from that venture was a pool underwater light transformer. It was around 8" cube, very heavy, unused, and finished in very bright yellow paint. On a shelf just asking to be used for nobler things than an electrical circuit.

    Our man of the match that day was formally presented with this valuable (circa £80 sterling, retail) trophy. Described in the words of the presenter, me, to all present as 'The Heathens Big Fuck-Off Yellow Underwater Light Transformer Man-Of-The-Match Trophy'.

    It resided for many years on a spare shelf in the snug of the village pub, until the year one man of the match took it home and didn't return it. And no-one can remember who it was.

    I do hope it's spending its time as a bookend to some very special books or a doorstop to a very important door. I'd hate to think it was in a cupboard stepping down voltage to keep a swimming pool alight.

    No doubt any conscientious Wordie would signal me should they discover it on offer on ebay.

    (Well, you did ask, 'gus.)

    June 11, 2008

  • That's hilarious gangerh!

    June 11, 2008

  • Wow, this is great. And a mouthful.

    June 11, 2008

  • I love that story! As an obsessive problem-solver, however, I think we need to find the "taker-and-not-returner" ASAP. My suggestion for a first round of discovery is to look for members who recently have had pools installed...*drawing on pipe, adjusting cape collar*

    June 11, 2008

  • Pro, I loved your first comment for its Italian-style use of the 'futuro nel passato' using an English modal form to function as the condizionale. Cute!

    June 11, 2008

  • :-( how's the correct sentence? Just "would explain"? Then what if the concept I had in mind were "you promised me that tomorrow, that is still the future, (to explain) it"? Like i.e. in a hypothetical agreement of revealing it someday in the "current future"?

    June 11, 2008

  • We love our gerund, we do.

    A native speaker would probably write, "you promised you were going to explain this one." ie. you were going to, but you didn't. Then, in terms of a 'current future', "you promised you will/would explain this one." ie. you promised you would, but you haven't. Unfortunately the past tense doesn't feel quite right with would in this case.

    It's because you're a perfectionist that your English is so damn good, Pro :-)

    June 11, 2008

  • *moved*

    thanks, bilby (and sionnach, for his comment on features!)

    June 11, 2008

  • 1. How in holy hell can a pair of nocturnal lights for your underwater camcorder cost $695?

    2. Could someone please check on dontcry who has been locked in the study with a big stash of cocaine for about 4 hours now? (That pipe is strictly camouflage)

    3. And tell that Blavatsky woman to stop moving the furniture around.

    June 11, 2008

  • If Holmes were alive today, would he smoke crack?

    June 11, 2008

  • Yes,7% of the time.

    You're being paranoid sionnach -- sometimes a pipe is just a pipe...

    June 11, 2008

  • A smile is just a smile ...

    June 11, 2008

  • "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" (Cecil is not a pipe).

    Louisa Peacock Rhodes.

    June 11, 2008