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  • I thought Martha spent her time in the Vineyard?

    April 16, 2008

  • Just because you're pearanoid doesn't mean you're not a fruitcake. The whole Bartlett cranard is just an enormous cred herring.

    April 16, 2008

  • I no longer feel safe on the streets now that Martha is out of prison.

    April 16, 2008

  • The (mistaken?) notion, apparently quite prevalent in Wordie circles, that one is being conspired against by malevolent fruits, whose evil machinations are being coordinated by a mysterious, prickly ringleader called Bartlett.

    See also "Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds".

    Of all the fruits, none is more sinister than the dread cranberry, whose hegemonistic ambitions for world domination become ever more shameless. Just as the Third Reich attempted to roll over Europe by a series of progressive annexations, so too does the vile 'cran' prefix attach itself to an ever-growing number of perfectly innocent fruits. If indeed we are under threat by fruit, then surely it is here that the vortex of evil must lie.

    It is hardly a coincidence that Dame Doom herself, the evil Martha Stewart, spends large amounts of time in the cranberry bogs of Nantucket. The whole Bartlett canard is just an enormous red herring.

    April 16, 2008