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  • September 19, 2007

  • IN Scotland all the people wear

    Red hair and freckles, and one sees

    The men in women's dresses there,

    With stout, decollete, low-necked knees.

    (' Eblins ye dinna ken, I doot,

    We 're unco guid, so hoot, mon, hoot!')

    They love ' ta whuskey' and ' ta Kirk';

    I don't know which they like the most.

    They aren't the least afraid of work ;

    No sense of humour can they boast;

    And you require an axe to coax

    The canny Scot to see your jokes.

    They play an instrument they call

    The bagpipes ; and the sound of these

    Is reminiscent of the squall

    Of infant pigs attacked by bees;

    Music that might drive cats away

    Or make reluctant chickens lay.


    Wear kilts, and, tho' men look askance,

    Go out and give your knees a chance.

    (Harry Graham : Baby's Baedeker)

    February 9, 2009