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This little french bulldog is suffering from genuphobia (fear of knees); or perhaps it is sinistrophobia (fear of objects at the left side of the body) that is the problem.
If you also happen to suffer from sinistrophobia, then you're really screwed.
Yes, Pietersen has had his troubles with the cack-handed twirlies, but surely Doherty is the best possible antidote to any case of sinistrophobia.