when a minor rear end fender bender results in two patients competing for the greater pseudo neck pain. The primary signs and symptoms: poorly timed pain response to bumps, positive dollar signs found during eye exam, and the absence of any real signs and symptoms other than moaning and groaning worthy of natural selection. "On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt, how bad does it hurt?" Symptomatic response, "Oh it's a 12 for sure - Man! Did you see that game last night??! Hey, can I borrow your phone to call my wife? Cool ringtone...."