Wordnik.com: play on words

Wordnik.com: play on words http://www.wordnik.com/lists/play-on-words.xml Dangling modifier jokes: We don't know each other very well. You've spent every hour with me for five days in a row. At this point you know me better than my parents. I don't know your parents at all. - Studio 60 Repetition of words: I don't like Jr. crossing the road. As a matter of fact, I don't like Jr. - G.Marx Mark it fragilly. F-R-A-Gâ€¦ Look it up, Jamison, itâ€™s in the dictionary. Look under "fragile." Look under the table if you donâ€™t find it there. - G.Marx Opposite words: Funny, Iâ€™ve met a lot of pin-up girls, but Iâ€™ve never been able to pin one down. - G.Marx Outside of a dog, a book is manâ€™s best friend. Inside of a dog itâ€™s too dark to read. - G.Marx Playing off polysemous: Groucho: You give up that silly peanut stand and I'll get you a soft government job. Now, let's see . . . How would you like a job in the mint? Chico: Mint? No, no, I no like-a mint. Uh . . . what other flavour you got? One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. - G.Marx Capt. Spaulding (Groucho Marx): <a href="/words/to Jamison">to Jamison</a> So, you just omitted them, eh? You just omitted the body of the letter, thatâ€™s all. Youâ€™ve just left out the body of the letter, thatâ€™s all. Yours is not to reason why, Jamison. Youâ€™ve left out the body of the letter. Capt. Spaulding (Groucho Marx): All right, send it that way and tell them the body will follow. Horatio Jamison (Zeppo Marx): Do you want the body in brackets? Capt. Spaulding (Groucho Marx): No, itâ€™ll never get there in brackets. Put it in a box. Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me? - G.Marx Mrs. Potter: Get out of this room, or I'll scream for the servants. Hammer: Let the servants know! Let the whole world know! About us! Mrs. Potter: You must leave my room. We must have regard for certain conventions. Hammer: One guy isn't enough, she's gotta have a convention. Hammer: <a href="/words/on phone">on phone</a> You want to know where you can get a hold of Mrs. Potter? I don't know, she's awfully ticklish. Mishearing of words: Groucho: It's all right, tha-that's in every contract. Tha-that's what they call a sanity clause. Chico: Ha ha ha ha ha ha... you can't fool me. There ain't no Santy Clause. Groucho: Don't you know what vessel is? Chico: Sure, I can vessel... <a href="/words/starts whistling">starts whistling</a> You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way. Thatâ€™s what I always say. Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo - G.Marx Oh, youâ€™re from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah? He lived in whales for awhile. - G.Marx Itâ€™s hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. - G.Marx Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana. - G.Marx (This quote is under the clock in Studio 60 - this might fit into another category as well) Hammer: What would you like? Would you like a suite on the third floor? Chico: No. I'll take a Pollack in the basement. A play on idioms: Iâ€™d have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didnâ€™t have a tape measure. - G.Marx A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - G.Marx Go, and never darken my towels again. (darken my doorstep) - G.Marx I never forget a face, but in your case Iâ€™ll be glad to make an exception. - G.Marx Women should be obscene and not heard. (children should be seen and not heard) - G.Marx Time wounds all heels. (Time heals all wounds) - G.Marx A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - G.Marx Hammer: Believe me, you gotta get up early if you want to get out of bed. - G.Marx http://www.wordnik.com flies http://www.wordnik.com/words/flies Mon, 25 May 2009 01:19:04 +0000 http://www.wordnik.com/words/flies