“A major cause of mankind's problems began 75m years ago, the Times wrote, when the planet Earth, then called Teegeeack, was part of a confederation of 90 planets under the leadership of a despotic ruler named Xenu.”
“Something abt clams, alyenz, body thetanz, John Travolta, an sumplace called Teegeeack?”
“These space-planes flew to Earth (then known as "Teegeeack"), where the beings were stacked inside several volcanoes around the planet.”
“Some things are self-evident: Murder is wrong, kindness is good and 75 million years ago, a ruler of a Galactic Confederacy rounded up billions of his own citizens and shipped them to Earth (then called Teegeeack), tied them to volcanoes and used hydrogen bombs to blow up their bodies.”
“What Jaime was trying to say is that Scientologists do not worship Xenu - Xenu is the evil galactic overlord that consigned creatures on space planes to be blown up on Earth… I mean Teegeeack.”
“Xenu brought billions of inhabitants from these worlds to Teegeeack and violently exterminated them, releasing their souls, or thetans, into the atmosphere.”
“Those planets included Earth, then known as Teegeeack.”
“Who on Teegeeack gives a damn about this vapid woman's weigh?”
“The spirits of the aliens were then taken to huge multiplex cinemas that Xenu had previously instructed his forces to build on Teegeeack.”
“About 75 million years ago, Hubbard told his followers, a galactic dictator named Xenu imprisoned billions of beings on the planet Teegeeack, later known as Earth.”
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