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“Men discovered their wives in flagrante delicto and murdered them, the granaries leaked and wetted the wheat stored therein, the Tiber rose just enough to ensure that some of the public latrines backfilled and floated excrement out of their doors, a vegetable shortage developed when the Campus Martius and the Campus Vaticanus were covered with a few inches of water, and shoddily built high-rise insulae began to crumble into total collapse or suddenly manifested huge cracks in walls and foundations.”
“Had the Duke of Sussex really been caught in flagrante with the sister of the Earl of Camden, with the lady refusing to display a flicker of remorse?”
“You drove home, you obeyed the rules of the road, you found your house, your house key, you punched in the alarm code, slipped off your shoes, you procured the family gun from the first-floor study, you found the right room, you caught your husband and Isabel Krug in flagrante delicto and you shot him dead.”
“I should by now have become accustomed to the vagaries of the journalistic world, but when she called me in flagrante it was me who was in flagrante, I had just flambe'd the chicken joints to inform me that a crisis had arisen in the private life of a football star and she would not be home before midnight, I behaved in a manner that afterwards shocked me.”
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