“One time she got tickets to an art exhibit full of petroleum-jelly sculptures.”
“This year I'm particularly proud to announce that the winner is one of the hardest-working ladies to come out of my school, Gal Friday, who won the pageant by portraying a super-tanned, insanely-bewigged, petroleum-jelly brandishing, teeth-whitening-stripped yes, she actually used whitening strips a week before the showpageant professional with a simultaneously glamourous and horrifying smile.”
“For Hart to even let the word "strategy" slip past his petroleum-jelly slithered lips, oh please spare us.”
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