The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body will be required on it. One child is not enough, but two children are far too many. No matter which way you go, it's uphill and against the wind. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
Anything that goes wrong will do so at the worst possible moment. Nothing is as easy as it looks. If several different things can go wrong, the one to do so will be that which causes the greatest damage. A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. No one is listening until you make a mistake. The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs. If something is confidential it will be left in the copier. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. When the plane you are on is late, the one you want to transfer to is on time. As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the plane encounters turbulence.
"Murphy's Law states that if anything can go wrong, it will. According to the USAF Flight Test Center History Office, Murphy's Law was born at Edwards AFB in 1949. It was named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on a project for determining how much sudden deceleration a person can withstand in a crash..."
--Robert B. Laughlin, A Different Universe (Reinventing Physics From the Bottom Down), p. 225, note 14.