The plot inspissated when Robert Bur, a minor poet, a.k.a. "The Ploughman Po", "The Bard of Ayrshi", or simply, "The Ba", began to peddle discarded tinware and Irish blackwood sticks under the sobriquet "Original Celtic Drums" to unsuspecting women. This dissolute, womanizing former thatcher and peat cutter prowled the lands far and wide north of the River Tweed in search of women and lassies to bed or wed "for a fortnight", and to later collectively praise in a prosaic literary approximation of the dialect he supposed to be common to the (lower) unemployed class of the social spectrum he stalked. He exits the story unexpectedly after a ceremony whereby a Haggis is "piped in" at a dinner in honor of one of his more aromatic conquests. His best and earliest musings were later collected into a slim tome called "The Cotter's Saturday Nig", named, infelicitously after its most lengthy prose offering.