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Etymologies
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Examples
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Take a bow son: The Fiver's take on Gray's departure
Managing director can seize opportunity to overhaul Sky Sports team 2011
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I was never in favour of the Fiver's Stop Football campaign, even though my Sheffield Wednesday appear to have carried it on regardless.
Another humiliating defeat Sean Ingle 2010
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Take a bow son: The Fiver's take on Gray's departure
New video heaps further pressure on Sky Sports' anchor Richard Keys 2011
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Take a bow son: The Fiver's take on Gray's departure
Andy Gray sacked but pressure on Sky to remove Richard Keys 2011
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THE MASCH OF SORROWBreaking up is never easy to do, as the Fiver's six-times-divorced Weird Uncle Balding-Middle-Aged-Ponytail Fiver has often confided.
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"I'm very tired and don't have time to celebrate with the owner," Mancini said last night, turning down - at least as the Fiver's imagination would have it - what might end up being the only invitation he ever receives to lounge in a hot tub full of Pomagne on top of a chromium-clad skyscraper while having his back scrubbed by an exact robot replica of Fiona Bruce.
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At the risk of going all misty-eyed, you get the impression that Torres is one of few young Premier League footballers who genuinely would appreciate a manager taking the trouble to pitch up at his poolside li-lo and discuss advanced attacking principles, although he'd probably draw the line at the Fiver's tactically astute colleague Jonathan Wilson.
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THE KISS OF LIFEArriving fashionably late to rescue a hitherto dull party is the Fiver's raison d'etre.
Provocatively Clad Lovely Girls; and A Cattle-Prod To The Netherlands 2010
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If it's a man vigorously rubbing something round, red and hard up and down his crotch you're about to report to the police, please be aware it's probably just the Fiver's real ale-drinking, willow-wielding, pavillion-dwelling, six-smashing cousin The Spin.
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With this in mind the Fiver's thoughts are today with poor old Roy Hodgson, who continues to look frazzled, wind-blown and upset now that Things Have Gone Wrong again at Liverpool.
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