almost Solveig love

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  • Anyone have a pyrophone I can borrow?

    May 23, 2012

  • If only the panda suit hadn't experienced shrinkage....

    February 6, 2012

  • *initiates wardrobe malfunction sequence*

    February 6, 2012

  • *accepts invitation to perform at Super Bowl halftime show*

    February 6, 2012

  • Mostly just reindeer. They take their upbrage shaken, not stirred.

    July 28, 2011

  • Up with upbrage! Down with downbrage!

    July 28, 2011

  • Any signs of Santa? I hear he travels to Gibraltar occasionally.

    July 27, 2011

  • Whoops. My p is nowhere near my m - how did that happen?
    Here in the frozen north we take upbrage because the umbrage freezes at too low a temperature.

    July 27, 2011

  • I'll take mine with two sugars, please.

    July 27, 2011

  • What is this upbrage and how is it taken?

    July 27, 2011

  • *takes upbrage at no one stopping by to visit on their way to the pole*
    *gets out shotgun*

    July 27, 2011

  • *figures shotgun must be on its way*

    October 14, 2010

  • *sends another text message to shotgun*

    October 14, 2010

  • *sends a text message to shotgun*

    October 14, 2010

  • *leaves message for shotgun on shotgun's answering machine*

    October 14, 2010

  • And a might be starting a zydeco band over on beetlestomper.

    May 14, 2010

  • Duuude. Bilby's starting a new band over on Shite Mega-Megahit.

    Not sure whether he's auditioning for panda-suit wearers yet.

    May 7, 2010

  • Do you know "Little Brown Jug?" Key of G.

    April 29, 2010

  • I'm a bottle blowing prodigy, if I do say so myself.

    April 29, 2010

  • Hi, plethora. Do you play any instruments?

    April 29, 2010

  • *randomly drops by Wordnik to look something up*
    *gets distracted reading backlog*
    *loves this page*
    *considers letting herself get addicted again on the strength of this conversation alone*

    April 29, 2010

  • *paints symbols on face*

    February 23, 2010

  • *polishes finger cymbals*
    *calls "shotgun"*

    February 23, 2010

  • *Packs caravan*

    Who wants to drive? (No babies allowed, sorry.)

    February 23, 2010

  • I have a collection of antique banjos...and can play them.

    February 23, 2010

  • I had a red one but I ate it a few jokes ago.

    February 23, 2010

  • I have a miniature one that my wife and I leave in charge of the kids when we go out for the night.

    February 23, 2010

  • *Checks bumper for bilby tat*

    Does anyone have a sitar I could borrow?

    February 23, 2010

  • I think we're ready to embark on a new artistic direction. Are we going to rediscover our acoustic roots or dabble in Eastern mysticism? I have a dreamcatcher I never much liked that I could, you know, nail to our trailer or something.

    February 23, 2010

  • *scrapes melted plastic out of ice bucket*
    *collapses in an exhausted heap against charred wall*

    February 23, 2010

  • Ouch!
    *licks the walls*
    *gets a papaya tat*
    *thumbs to the Pole*

    February 23, 2010

  • *Packs Panda suit up for good*
    *sends it to the North Pole*
    *Rejects the call from RSPCA*

    February 23, 2010

  • *flings around vats of papaya*
    *watches as the gloopy seeds sglop down the charred walls*
    *eats cupcake*
    *pokes dontcry's tat*

    February 23, 2010

  • *hides remaining dogs from bilby*

    February 22, 2010

  • *eats dogs as food begins to run short on the way to the Pole*

    February 22, 2010

  • *eats remaining brown M&Ms;*

    February 22, 2010

  • I say we repair to Gray's Papaya on Broadway and 72nd, get some dogs, and rethink the mission.

    February 22, 2010

  • *gets yoko tat*

    February 22, 2010

  • *Unfairly blames Yoko Ono for yarb's departure.*

    February 21, 2010

  • *quits due to creative differences*

    February 21, 2010

  • *sigh*

    February 21, 2010

  • I was only robbing the register. I hope you'll understand.

    February 21, 2010

  • *Issues statement to the press claiming that mold on the bathroom tiles in the hotel room caused band members to have hallucinations and that when bilby saw the hotel manager just now and was quoted as saying, "Duuude, wait, I thought we murdered you," his comment was taken completely out of context.*

    February 20, 2010

  • არაფერს!

    February 19, 2010

  • Thanks, Milo. I feel better now.

    February 19, 2010

  • ფროგაპლოს, ბაყაყი...

    February 19, 2010

  • At times like this, I'd like to be comforted in a language I don't understand.

    February 19, 2010

  • *throws open the windows to let out the toxic fumes and clear the air*

    *extinguishes theremin*

    I think it's time to evacuate the hotel before the police arrive. Let's get moving!

    February 19, 2010

  • *manages to cry out, "For God's sake, don't set the theremin on fire! It's borrowed."*

    February 19, 2010

  • Better move the chocolate-covered roaches - the blazin' theremin might melt them.

    February 19, 2010

  • *tries to crawl toward the door, but is overcome by toxic fumes.*

    February 19, 2010

  • Hey, let's pretend we're Jimmy Hendrix and light the theremin on fire in the middle of the room. Uh, move over, ruzuzu, we've got a theremin to torch.

    February 19, 2010

  • Chocolate-covered roaches are indestructible. And deliciously crunchy to boot!

    February 19, 2010

  • Do you think brown chocolate thingies survive thermonuclear war?

    February 18, 2010

  • *writes REDRUM on mirrors because walls are too charred*

    February 18, 2010

  • *wakes up, calls best friend/attorney, begins to notice new sionnach tat on other arm, passes out again*

    February 18, 2010

  • chained : *flings vats of brown M&Ms; around*

    My natural shyness (and a healthy fear of cocaine-addicted poodles) has prevented me from joining the cosmic disaster that continues to unfold on this page. However, c_b's veiled reference to the infamous Van Halen "no brown M&Ms;" contract rider prompts me to share something I learned in my random reading this past week. In his most excellent little book "The Checklist Manifesto", the uber-talented Awul Gawande explains that the notorious rider was not actually a manifestation of spoiled rockstar caprice, but that it had in fact been inserted as a deliberate (and very important) quality control check. In his memoir Crazy from the Heat David Lee Roth explained that Van Halen had been the first band "to take huge productions into third-level markets", that they would pull up with nine 18-wheelers full of equipment into venues used to dealing with bands whose gear filled a couple of vans. The logistics of getting the elaborate stage sets in place, correctly, safely, and on time was enormously complex. Failure to follow the detailed safety checks set out in the contract could be potentially dangerous to the welfare of both the band and the fans. So the "no brown M&M" provision was just a clever way of making sure that the logistics team at the given venue had observed appropriate caution when setting up the stage arrangements.

    I am a fount of random useless information of this kind. Go ahead. Just ask me.

    But this page scares me.

    February 18, 2010

  • *hacks pentagon*

    February 18, 2010

  • Thermonuclear war is next.

    February 18, 2010

  • Now you've done it!! It's gone from trashing a hotel to bloody murder. Whatever will be next? -Wait, don't answer that!

    *sidles into corner to get away the chaos and destruction*

    February 18, 2010

  • Did anyone write"Helter Skelter" on the walls yet, or "REDRUM" on the mirrors? Its mandatory when trashing a room, dontcha know.

    February 18, 2010

  • Great idea!
    *invites hotel manager up to room, reduces him to pulp with a blistering ruzuzu theremin solo and tips him down the drain*

    February 18, 2010

  • Don't you guys feel bad about doing this? Have you no conscience at all? I mean, we can be sued for all this and that's our professional career down the drain (if you haven't clogged that already)!

    February 18, 2010

  • *passes out, wakes up, begins to notice new dontcry tat on arm, passes out again*

    February 18, 2010

  • *stuffs Keith Moon full of cherry bombs and blows him up*

    February 18, 2010

  • *avoids minibar and closet*

    February 18, 2010

  • *takes dump in minibar*

    February 18, 2010

  • *ties knotted dry cleaning bag to ceiling fan, sets it on fire, and watches residue drip into ice bucket on floor*

    February 18, 2010

  • *micturates in closet*

    February 18, 2010

  • *gently steps on bathroom mat with shoes on*

    February 18, 2010

  • *sets wallpaper on fire*

    February 18, 2010

  • *opens whiskey bottle, drinks whiskey, fills bottle with tea, puts it back in the fridge*

    February 18, 2010

  • *flings vats of brown M&Ms; around*

    February 18, 2010

  • It's about time we trashed a hotel room.

    February 18, 2010

  • *rim shot*

    February 16, 2010

  • "The Week in Wordnik" has rarely been so interesting.

    February 16, 2010

  • Would our fans from the middle aisle please come back inside.

    February 14, 2010

  • *gets styoo-pid tat*

    February 14, 2010

  • Would the journalists in the front row please stop throwing things.

    February 14, 2010

  • Oh! Our first bad review. Now we're a real band!

    February 13, 2010

  • That's almost impressive. I might almost get one too.

    February 13, 2010

  • *almost gets a solveig tat*

    February 13, 2010

  • Where's this bridge you were going on about a while back?

    *sells cupcake t-shirts*

    February 12, 2010

  • Can I join the band? I don't play any instrument, but I'm a great player of Theremin Hero.

    February 11, 2010

  • Your wish, my command, etc.

    February 11, 2010

  • Brackets around almost almost Solveig, please. ;-)

    February 11, 2010

  • Yeah, but almost Solviega then parses as almost almost Solveig.

    February 11, 2010

  • What? "Solveiga" is still almost Solveig.

    February 11, 2010

  • So this entire thread should have been almost Solveiga? No wonder we can't get a gig.

    It's beard, sunglasses and the Zuzu Top tribute band for you, Strummenbum.

    February 11, 2010

  • Solveig is a very dear friend of mine. Be nice to her.

    February 10, 2010

  • *passes out thread*
    *passes out*

    February 10, 2010

  • *washes Panda suit*
    *glares at it as it shrinks*

    February 10, 2010

  • *gets reunion tour tat*
    *sets up drums*
    *passes out*

    February 10, 2010

  • *dials record label*

    "We're working a single called 'Flaming Cupcake Stomp'. It's gonna be iced with awesome, lemme tell ya!
    Yep, for the reunion tour. The Almost Solveig Almost Reunion Tour.
    Yep, she was going solo but she broke up with herself. Irreconcilable musical differences, that sort of thing.
    Yep yep yep."

    February 10, 2010

  • You know, I've spent a long time thinking I should go solo. This is the last straw!

    *stomps off*

    *stomps back for flaming cupcake*

    *waits for awesome record deals*

    *still waiting*

    *is offered spot on reality show*

    *accepts, hoping to restart career*

    *eventually goes on Behind the Music and admits that "those days with Almost Solveig were some of the best... I mean, I fought bilby as a manager, but..."*

    *has people call bilby's people to schedule reunion tour*


    February 10, 2010

  • Hang on, that wouldn't be helpful to the future of the band. Cancel that.

    February 10, 2010

  • if It 's sURgical thr-ead I coul'd seW ruzuzu"s cheekie co_m-Me_n-t append:age shuT.

    February 10, 2010

  • If you have to ask, you'll never know.

    February 9, 2010

  • Look over here, guys! Bilby found some thread. Neither of us have any idea what it's here for...

    February 9, 2010

  • What's this thread about, by the way?

    February 9, 2010