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Examples

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  • Chuck Norris has an iPhone app for threading a needle.

    January 1, 2010

  • Not with that pouffy hair.

    October 1, 2009

  • I bet Chuck Norris could get our office remodel done.

    September 26, 2009

  • Chuck Norris can do karate kicks in jeans.

    September 26, 2009

  • Chuck Norris watches 'Air Crash Investigation' whenever he's on a plane.

    November 22, 2008

  • Who was it changed their name to Chuck Norris just because they could?

    November 10, 2008

  • You know how little kids wear Superman pajamas? Well, when Superman was little, he wore Chuck Norris pajamas.

    October 30, 2008

  • If Chuck Norris could die, he would still be roundhouse kicking people even though he was dead, because God would be too scared to tell him.

    If Chuck Norris did push-ups, He would move the earth instead of himself.

    "Chuck Norris walked into a bar-"
    "You idiot! He wouldn't walk into a bar!"
    "Okay. But if he did, one second later, there wouldn't be a bar."

    October 23, 2008

  • Hey, it's the truth. The hair's pouffy.

    October 23, 2008

  • Oh.

    *hides from possible lightning*

    October 22, 2008

  • Dissing Chuck.

    October 22, 2008

  • *singing* I gotta be MEEEEEEEEE!

    October 22, 2008

  • No, reesetee. Please. You gotta be you.

    Dontcry, do you mean reesetee being Chuck Norris, or bears deflating?

    October 22, 2008

  • Sorry, c_b. I'll try my best to like him.

    *trying*

    October 22, 2008

  • This surely is one of the signs of the Apocalypse...

    October 22, 2008

  • *deflates*

    October 22, 2008

  • Oh Lord no. I don't even like the guy. Also, his hair...well, it's as bad as Ted Danson's.

    October 22, 2008

  • You heard it here first, folks: Reesetee may actually be Chuck Norris!!

    October 22, 2008

  • Chuck Norris can give icrecream a headache.

    October 22, 2008

  • Chuck Norris can read WordNet's definition of and.

    October 22, 2008

  • Hell, I know the words to "Louie, Louie."

    October 22, 2008

  • Chuck Norris knows what rhymes with purple.

    October 22, 2008

  • Chuck Norris knows the words to "Louie Louie"—and what they mean.

    October 22, 2008

  • Chuck Norris didn't wet the bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

    October 22, 2008

  • Chuck Norris doesn't get spam.

    August 27, 2008

  • Chuck Norris doesn't have issues. He has subscriptions.

    August 26, 2008

  • According to bilby's records, the only winner ever of the banana juicing event of the bananathlon.

    August 25, 2008

  • Big Foot Takes Pictures of Chuck Norris

    August 24, 2008

  • Chuck Norris knows what to call an arrow slit.

    Bilby, nobody is listing balistraria. Why don't you?

    August 20, 2008

  • According to uselessness, it's an archerent.

    August 20, 2008

  • Balistraria!

    August 20, 2008

  • Isn't it just called an arrow slit?

    *scratches head*

    August 20, 2008

  • I'm disappointed skip. You know there must be a word for archery slit in the castle wall.

    August 20, 2008

  • I'm with you there, skip. It's definitely dulled my enthusiasm for watching the Olympics.

    And by the way, is there any sport/activity/odd hobby you and chained_bear haven't taken up? ;->

    August 20, 2008

  • Alas, I haven't lifted a bow in many years. I was a state champion in NC when I was 14 or so. The technology has certainly advanced since we used a longbow through the arrow slits in the castle wall...

    But I have been able to catch a bit of the streamed video. It (obviously) bothers me that wonderful sports (i.e., those that don't require background music and judges) like archery don't get any prime coverage.

    August 20, 2008

  • Right! Because he doesn't need a chair.

    Have you been watching the archery streaming on NBC.com? Or at the U.S. Olympic Archery site? Just askin'. And when you take up archery, let me know. (Unless you already have...?)

    August 20, 2008

  • Chuck Norris can sit through multiple rebroadcasts of the US womens gymnastic team's heartbreaking close losses and soaring, triumphant victories, KNOWING FULL WELL THAT OTHER WORTHY SPORTS LIKE ARCHERY AND CANOEING ARE GOING ON, without throwing a chair through the television.

    August 20, 2008

  • Ha ha haha!!! Thanks pleth. Tee heeeee!

    August 20, 2008

  • Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

    August 19, 2008

  • See also chucknorris as a unit of measurement.

    June 6, 2008

  • Chuck Norris can spend all summer in New York City without A/C.

    May 25, 2008

  • Chuck Norris can eat airline food.

    May 25, 2008

  • Slam a revolving door! That made me laugh out loud. So good, plethora.

    May 16, 2008

  • Good one, plethora!

    May 16, 2008

  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    May 16, 2008

  • YESSSS!!!!! That may be my new favorite.

    May 16, 2008

  • Chuch Norris can reason with a teenager.

    May 16, 2008

  • Yeah, I'm typically a few years behind.

    May 16, 2008

  • This has been going on for a few years now. But once you find out he has been campaigning for Huckabee it is hard to keep up the respect.

    May 13, 2008

  • Ohmywordie, I'm addicted.

    Chuck Norris watches Blu Ray. On His VCR.
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
    Chuck Norris know the last digit of Pi.

    It goes on, and on, and on....

    May 11, 2008

  • Hee hee hee. I love this phenomenon. My favorite is "Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

    There's an explanation here.

    May 9, 2008

  • What is up with Chuck Norris? There are a million references to him on facebook:

    Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
    Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
    Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
    Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
    Chuck Norris doesn't read books so much as stare them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Seriously, what gives?

    May 9, 2008