vampire pumpkins and watermelons

ruzuzu Sionnach, I find your comment about the vegetable lamb of Tartary to be remarkably unbrackety. Oct 3, 2011

sionnach Oh no. Not the dreaded werecantaloupes!
aiee! flee flee! Sep 29, 2011

ruzuzu Somewhere on Wikipedia there's mention of the fact that watermelons aren't in the Cucumis genus--I think the infections have less to do with vampires and more do to with canteloup-garous (the dreaded werecantaloupes). Sep 29, 2011

hernesheir Meanwhile,the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention anticipate more victims. Listeria-tainted canteloupes in this case. Sep 29, 2011

ruzuzu Thank God for Gallagher the Watermelon Slayer. Sep 29, 2011

bilby In early films there's also 'Tim' where Gibson plays a slightly daft young man. Spoiler: Tim does nothing, slightly daftly, for 109 minutes. As it turns out Gibson was much better at being thoroughly retarded in his private life.

yarb: I have been, see gasometer. Sep 29, 2011

yarb Imagine being savaged by a watermelon. Bilby I'm surprised you treat the subject so lightly. Sep 29, 2011

sionnach Mad Mel made a Bounty commercial! Who knew? Sep 29, 2011

ruzuzu Leaden: My goal is to create a subtle but subversive mockery of the Hollowiener Fest genre.

Bilby: I liked him in The Year of Living Dangerously, but I haven't seen The Bounty. Sep 29, 2011

leaden ’zu: Are you saying your book will be like ITGPCB, but Hallowe’enier? I’m totally Bram Stokered.

To be fair to bilby, you must admit that Buffy works by acknowledging and exploiting precisely the flaws he cites (and more). (And because Dross* Joss W. is brilliant.)

’nach: A nice thing about Wikipedia is that on second reading, it seems like an entirely different book.

* Shaking fist Curse you, bilby! Sep 29, 2011

bilby By all means mention soap operas, though I doubt Australia can claim world-leading awfullage (much as we try). Brazil? Syria? Nepal? Surely there's quality dross being hoisted on the airwaves in Burkina Faso?

I don't know about your expectations of Gibson. Wasn't it obvious from The Bounty that he couldn't act his way out of a paper bag? Sep 29, 2011

ruzuzu You're obviously not a fan of Joss Whedon. That's okay. In turn, I won't mention Australian soap operas or Mel Gibson's later work. Sep 29, 2011

bilby Can anyone think of a genre of literature or film that is consistently more awful, ridiculous and bowel-cleansingly cheesy than vampires? Seriously? Sep 28, 2011

ruzuzu Ha--I'm just working up some ideas for another mashup-style book in the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies vein. (You'll want to watch for the Steinkirk scene in "It's the Great Vampire Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!") Sep 28, 2011

sionnach I have two reactions to this remarkable excerpt brought to us by 'zuzu.

1. What is up with you? You seem to be reading your way through wikipedia. This cannot end well.
2. The text you quote is remarkably silent regarding the vegetable lamb of Tartary. Suspiciously so. Sep 28, 2011

ruzuzu "The belief in vampire fruit is similar to the belief that any inanimate object left outside during the night of a full moon will become a vampire. According to tradition, watermelons or any kind of pumpkin kept more than ten days or after Christmas will become a vampire, rolling around on the ground and growling to pester the living. People have little fear of the vampire pumpkins and melons because of the creatures' lack of teeth. One of the main indications that a pumpkin or melon is about to undergo a vampiric transformation (or has just completed one) is said to be the appearance of a drop of blood on its skin."

-- Wikipedia (link)
Sep 28, 2011