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From the Estate of the Brothers Collyer

A list of 43 words by uselessness.

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A list of things retrieved from the home of two compulsive hoarders after their bodies were found buried underneath the 103 tons of garbage they had amassed over several decades. The "collection" was protected by booby traps to deter thieves, but ultimately it was those traps that killed the two reclusive men. Their bodies were only discovered after the stench could be smelled in the street outside the house.

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  • ruzuzu According to an article from the NYTimes, "Although some of the artifacts recovered, like musical instruments, were determined to be fakes, a two-headed baby in a jar of formaldehyde found in the house was actually real." Dec 10, 2009

  • reesetee Really, I wouldn't be too surprised at the presence of jarred human organs (not stunned ones--ones in jars), come to think of it. When I worked in rare books, we'd often buy medical collections (of books) from estates, and in some cases they would include quite a few...er...non-book items. For a while, I had on my desk a preserved slice of the brain of Charles J. Guiteau, assassin of U.S. president James Garfield. It may have made its way to the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia, since there's one there now. :-)

    Which reminds me--chained_bear, didn't we talk about making lists of the oddest things we've ever had on our desks at work? Off I go.... Jan 22, 2008

  • uselessness Thanks, all. I just copied the list from Wikipedia, so it's possible there was other crazy stuff in there that didn't get tallied. Or that somebody decided to be a joker and sneak "human organs" in there. Who knows? ;-)

    I myself have felt remorse at getting rid of old periodicals. When I was a kid I accumulated quite an archive of Highlights for Children magazines and it tore my heart out when Mom and Dad told me the whole lot had to go. Nevermind that I was well into my teens and hadn't looked at them in years... but you can't argue with sentimentality. Nowadays I look at my parents and thank them for saving me from becoming another Collyer brother. :-P Jan 22, 2008

  • yarb Excellent list; I bet it could be much longer with a bit of research. And minerva's right, the single entry "newspapers" is hopelessly inadequate.

    n.b. Yes trivet, it would be quite unseemly to keep organs anywhere but in jars. Jan 21, 2008

  • trivet In jars, I hope. Jan 21, 2008

  • reesetee Wait...human organs?? Jan 21, 2008

  • trivet eeesh. Jan 21, 2008

  • sionnach This is why I no longer get home delivery of the New York Times. My father was a newspaper hoarder all of his life. A couple of years ago, my friends Michael and June stopped by for coffee. At the time, June was completing a rotation in geriatrics. While Michael was in the bathroom, she glanced around the apartment and proceeded to ask me, in the most concerned tone imaginable, whether I knew that one key marker used by social workers to gauge the functional status of their patients was the height of the stacks of newspapers and magazines in the home.

    Within 20 minutes of their leaving, there wasn't a paper or magazine left in my home.

    Of course, this was just a temporary, panic-induced improvement. The fact remains, it is very difficult for me to throw out that pile of Entertainment Weekly's from 2003. I mean, what if I needed to refresh myself on the details of the whole Dixie Chicks brouhaha? Jan 21, 2008

  • chained_bear I had never heard this particular story before. What a great list idea... and creepy, too. Thanks for posting, u! Jan 21, 2008

  • reesetee Haha! Jan 21, 2008

  • minerva I just read about these brothers yesterday. If only you could list newspapers more than once. Jan 21, 2008

  • reesetee Fascinating, uselessness.

    Note to self: CLEAN HOUSE. Jan 21, 2008