Real Names

madmouth what about extraordinary names ESL students give themselves?
I had a Napoleon, Cherry, Miffy and Candy in the same class. Now, those last three aren't that weird alone but somehow, I couldn't stop thinking of them as Cherry, Miffy and Candy. Jun 5, 2009

madmouth We can't be forgetting Praise-God Barebone! Apr 30, 2009

johnmperry Norwegian tennis ace Bent-Ove Pedersen Aug 25, 2008

sionnach I have to disagree with Oroboros on the quality of the book "Bertha Venation":


amazon review Jun 24, 2008

frogapplause Mary Ann Apple Jun 24, 2008

frogapplause skipvia: Is "The Butt Brothers?" your new wordie catchphrase? See my new catchphrase list. Jun 24, 2008

skipvia Bilby, FA and DC--I've made this an open list so that you'll get credit for your wonderful contributions. Have a field day!

The Butt Brothers? Jun 24, 2008

bilby frogorama, is this the first time you've revealed all about your Butt-Odor childhood problem? Jun 24, 2008

dontcry Really true names:
Dr. Bonebreak = my kid's orthodontist
Dr. Paine = anesthesiologist for my knee surgery

Jun 24, 2008

frogapplause All true, I swear. In middle school, I was in a class with four kids whose names were a perfect storm. Cindy Odor and Cindy Pugh sat in the front of the classroom... and the Butt brothers, Jim and Tim, sat in back. The Cindys were okay, but I couldn't stand the Butt brothers.

Also, true: There was a DARE officer I knew whose last name was Pigg. Officer Pigg.


Jun 24, 2008

bilby Can I slip in a Ruth Rutherford? Jun 24, 2008

asativum Spencer Honey was a state official in Arkansas. Very tall, solidly built man. Always felt odd asking for him on the phone. Oh, and I was once in a school where there were two students, both girls, named Unique.

Others I've met: Shannon Doah, Obadiah Butterworth, Dixie Land and Abby Rhodes. Jan 28, 2008

oroboros A great book for many more:"Bertha Venation: And Hundreds of Other Funny Names of Real People" Jan 5, 2008

bilby I could also put in a word for Captain John Thomas Bumpass although he wasn't known to me personally. Jan 1, 2008

bilby One of the real characters of English soccer is a player by the name of Dean Windass.

I'm glad, for the sake of air quality, he didn't end up marrying Ms. Belcher. Dec 29, 2007

skipvia Added, rolig. Thanks. Dec 22, 2007

rolig I had a classmate in high school named April Storms. Dec 22, 2007

arcadia My friend had a classmate named "Wayne Dwop". -Not 100% sure on the spelling of the last name, but apparently a common sir name in parts of Asia.

Also, my aunt has an elderly friend named "Rosey Pamler", which is just dirty.
Dec 19, 2007

skipvia Ha! That reminds me of a local Ester, AK character (recently deceased) named Al Zucchini. Everyone called him Shorty. I don't know why I didn't add him to this list before. Dec 19, 2007

reesetee I thought maybe Squash. Dec 19, 2007

bilby Zucchinello. Dec 19, 2007

reesetee I once encountered a mother in a clothing store who was scolding her daughter, Zucchina, for misbehaving. My friend and I somehow managed to avoid bursting into laughter until after we left the store. But we wonder to this day what Zucchina's little brother was named. Dec 19, 2007

skipvia Urethra Franklin is one of my favorite singers. ;-) Dec 19, 2007

rolig I once knew a nurse who worked in an obstetrics ward; she told me that one problem she frequently encountered concerned new mothers who wanted to give their children such pretty-sounding names as Vulva and Urethra, and she had to explain to them what these words actually meant. Dec 19, 2007

bilby In one of my incarnations I worked in remote land where I got to know a guy whose first name was Wedding. Now Wedding ended up marrying a girl called Darling and I was kind of glad not to be invited to the Darling-Wedding nuptials or I might have died of schmalz. Dec 19, 2007

chained_bear Yeah, I think Ima the way John's acquaintance pronounces it is lovely, as is Imogene.

I wonder why I heard there was a sister named Ura. And I still wonder why Big Jim Hogg felt it desirable to name his daughter Ima.

I guess it's still better than Rhythm Belcher, no matter how you slice it. Oct 28, 2007

skipvia Ima is often a nickname for Imogene, U. Imogene is a beautiful name--Ima blows dead rats. Oct 28, 2007

john I know an Ima, a very nice person. It's pronounced ēma, though (she's Italian), so it's less useful for punning. Oct 28, 2007

uselessness I don't think Ima has ever been a nice name. I've only ever heard it in jokes about terrible ones. Is it short for a traditional name, or was it just invented for the sake of bad puns? Oct 28, 2007

skipvia Ima Hogg was a real Texan who led a fascinating life devoted to philanthropy. Her father (Big Jim Hogg) was the governor of Texas at one point. Uma Hogg is a myth--Ima didn't have a sister by that name. Oct 28, 2007

chained_bear I heard once about a famous, wealthy family in Texas, I believe, called Hogg. The patriarch (I hesitate to apply such a term to this man) named his daughters "Ima" and "Ura."

And I read once about a law that was passed in... Iowa? I want to say... that forbade naming a child anything degrading. The law was passed in response to a family whose two children were named "Do the Dishes" and "Take Out the Trash." I remember I saw this in print, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's true. (The first story I only heard about, but it has more of a ring of truth to it.)
Oct 28, 2007

sionnach I know someone who was called Laurel Hardy before she got married. I never did have the nerve to ask her if her middle initial is N.

And one of my classmates in graduate school was called Greg Samsa.

Unfortunately, I cannot claim to know Jermajesty Jackson personally.

Some people's fitness for parenthood seems questionable, at best. Oct 28, 2007

reesetee Aw, man. Why would you do that to a kid??

Darnell Phason, skipvia. See Currie Nunnery for more. Oct 27, 2007

skipvia If I were Willie Stroker I'd use a different nickname for William--like Dick.

Wait... Oct 27, 2007

skipvia I just saw a clip of an interview with a judge by the name of Willie Stroker. These are both going on the list toot sweet. Oct 27, 2007

rocksinmypockets A friend of my sister's just named her child Leaf Mountain. Oct 27, 2007

jennarenn Ah, I wonder if that's the same Holly Wood that I've heard of. Oct 16, 2007

reesetee No. No thanks. I really don't want one; believe me. Although I sure wouldn't mind visiting the place. :-) Oct 15, 2007

skipvia Google "skinny dicks halfway inn" if you really want one. The site is...ummm...bawdy. Oh, hell, it's downright salacious in a cheap, plastic novelty sort of way. Of course, if you knew Skinny... Oct 15, 2007

trivet I think there are more of these somewhere....

edit:
Ah-hah! -->here.
'speciallly in the list comments... Oct 15, 2007

reesetee Does Dr. Doctor have a nurse named Nurse? Just asking....

Skipvia, I know a few people who would probably kill for that t-shirt. And I'm not telling them about it. ;-) Oct 15, 2007

uselessness As mentioned on proctor, I know of a Ron Doctor, Ph.D., a.k.a. Dr. Doctor. May or may not count as a "name." Oct 15, 2007

skipvia Near where I live in Fairbanks is a guy named Richard who goes by the moniker "Skinny Dick." He runs a roadhouse halfway between Fairbanks and Nenana. The name of the establishment is "Skinny Dick's Halfway Inn." His t-shirts are famous. Oct 15, 2007

npydyuan I know a guy named Dick Thickens. Really. Oct 15, 2007

oroboros Skipvia, check out Currie Nunnery and Buford Pusser. Oct 15, 2007