I must ask if you are the conductor of a bright family train at a nth rate theme park employing Scott Baio, or perhaps employing Scott Baio's head in a jar of formaldehyde and mayonnaise, in pseudonymous guise abiding on this site? If this makes no sense and you are confused, please disregard. I ask only because your vocabulary is remarkably similar to that of someone I know, though you are notably missing coprophagy. I mean, how many people can have merkin and marzipan at once?