spaghetti

ruzuzu Now that Prolagus is finished with his Four weeks, 28 breakfasts project, I'm hoping Rules of the Tablecloth will be his next project. Mar 3, 2011

ruzuzu For more about the well-known universal attraction between white shirts and spaghetti sauce, see buttered-cat array. Nov 2, 2010

Prolagus It's back! Feb 8, 2010

PossibleUnderscore Ack! So it did. How about reposting it? Feb 2, 2010

Prolagus Oh, my limerick disappeared. :( Feb 2, 2010

mollusque Big Apple sauce. Dec 13, 2009

bilby What kind of sauce would you serve with New York? Dec 13, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Being very fussy with ratios in food myself, I must admit that breaking ramen chained_bear style is reasonable, because it's for the overall benefit of the meal.

I wonder what Chinese angels say about eating 'raw' ramen? Dec 7, 2009

ruzuzu I've had friends who eat ramen right out of the package--no cooking, no seasoning. Dec 7, 2009

chained_bear The only time I break ramen (and I always feel bad about doing it) is when I'm making ramen with chickpeas and marinated artichoke hearts. I've found it's nearly impossible to get a decent ratio of chickpeas and noodles in a bite (the artichoke hearts are easier as one can stab it with the tines of the fork) unless the ramen is broken up before cooking. Dec 7, 2009

reesetee No offense to Chinese angels, mind you. *hands Chinese angels a fistful of Nutello* Dec 6, 2009

PossibleUnderscore I think so, bilby.

Personally, I prefer spaghetti, but I have great respect for ramen too. They are all welcome at the dinner table in my house! (or the breakfast, or lunch table too ) ;-) Dec 6, 2009

bilby Did I hear Chinese angels crying? Dec 6, 2009

reesetee I have no respect for ramen, so I say cut it. (Although it did get me through some lean years.) Dec 6, 2009

madmouth absolutely right. ramyun is where it's at Dec 6, 2009

dontcry I'll make this easy for you: don't eat ramen. Dec 6, 2009

uselessness I suppose this would be a bad time for me to mention that I cut my ramen too. Apparently I have no respect for my noodles. Dec 6, 2009

PossibleUnderscore For ramen, it's all about slurping. No cutting, no twirrling, just slurping no matter how long, so it's important not to sit with a straight back for once. Dec 5, 2009

bilby I don't know. Is ramen twirling officially the done thing? Dec 5, 2009

mollusque What about ramen? Break the block before cooking or leave intact for subsequent slurping? Dec 5, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Congratulations on that crown frogapplause! Use it wisely... I liked your pronunciation. ;-) It really annoys me when people say pasta with a short 'a' sound. They make it sound like some sort of commercial marketing blah-di-blah.

Don't ask me why. It just is.

Dec 5, 2009

frogapplause I, Myth Pasta Dec 5, 2009

john And if you become the captain of a ship, your crew can say "aye aye Myth Pasta." Dec 5, 2009

john frogapplause, seize that crown! So you can begin every sentence "I, Myth Pasta..." Dec 5, 2009

PossibleUnderscore So people really do throw their pasta on the wall... hmmm... Dec 5, 2009

frogapplause Actually, I was only second runner-up. The judges took umbrage with my interview answer about throwing pasta against the wall. Dec 5, 2009

bilby I thought frogapplause was crowned as Myth Pasta. Dec 5, 2009

frogapplause Pasta Myths Debunked link Dec 5, 2009

PossibleUnderscore I'm actually getting pretty upset because I'm realising more and more that this spaghetti is never going to come, as much as I will it here.
Willed spaghetti...

Yum... Slurp...Twirl...Cheesify-

But it's not to be. :-( Dec 5, 2009

dontcry Mangia! Dec 5, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Bring on the spaghetti!

Please. Dec 5, 2009

dontcry Yay! Dec 5, 2009

PossibleUnderscore *ties napkin around neck and gets special twirrling fork ready*

*throws knife over shoulder* Dec 5, 2009

dontcry It's sarted and ready to go! Dec 5, 2009

ruzuzu Sure! And I'll get out the blender and the electric deep fryer. Dec 5, 2009

Prolagus Did you sart it first? Dec 5, 2009

dontcry Can someone please pass the sauce... Dec 5, 2009

PossibleUnderscore That's the spirit!
dontcry: hehe :-) Dec 4, 2009

reesetee But...but then it's not as funny! *whines*

Ah, what the hell. I'll eat all of them! Dec 4, 2009

Prolagus reesetee: I actually meant that rigatono was wrong, since the singular of rigatoni is rigatone! oops :) Dec 4, 2009

dontcry That short spaghetti would be the twirling challenge of all time! Dec 4, 2009

bilby Just think how wonderful you'll look in one of those dresses, all covered in red sauce. I'm beginning to fear your heart's not really dedicated to the pursuit of spaghetti. Dec 4, 2009

uselessness Impossible. As I've learned from this thread, such an invention would constitute a grave affront to the integrity of the pasta. I refuse to believe it exists.

Edit: Also, as I've learned from this thread, it's better to click links before commenting on them. I have no sense of humor.

Edit edit: In my defense, links don't show up on Zeitgeist, where I read your comment, so I didn't realize it was a link at all. ;-) Dec 4, 2009

bilby How about some short spaghetti then? Dec 4, 2009

reesetee Pro: I knew that. DAMN! My brain and my fingers aren't cooperating again. Fixed--thanks. Dec 4, 2009

uselessness Yes, I am a big fan of the shorter pastas. Stuffed shells and ravioli are awesome too! Dec 4, 2009

Prolagus (psst... it's rigatone) Dec 4, 2009

reesetee You know, uselessness, you could avoid this whole problem by eating rigatoni. Then you could stab each individual rigatone with your fork.

Pro: Your poetry is quite tasty. Dec 4, 2009

frogapplause dontcry: I think Pro would make a wonderful pet.
Even better than a Chia Pet! Dec 4, 2009

uselessness Nope, just my laptop power supply. Fortunately? Dec 4, 2009

mollusque I want to know if uselessness got sauce on his keyboard. Dec 4, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Hehehehe.
Spaghetti in garlic hotdog is supposedly very nice. Dec 4, 2009

Prolagus Brackets on you're something of a hotdog, aren't you, please. Dec 4, 2009

dontcry Could be that switching thing is what's getting you into trouble. That's not for amateurs, u. You're something of a hotdog, aren't you? Dec 4, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Is there a rule as to whether you twirl with your right or left hand. I switch between the two, depending on how big my twirl is turning out to be...

Edit: Pro: you poet! (which I first mis-typed as 'pet' ;-) ) Dec 4, 2009

dontcry Whaaa??? Oh! Har! I mean, sarting, ahem, yes is the technical term for how to begin when beginning with tomatoes. Yes, it's a very technical cooking term I wouldn't expect most of you to know.... Dec 4, 2009

frogapplause Uselessness: You are farting with whole tomatoes, aren't you?
(Typo of dontcry's typo.) Dec 4, 2009

frogapplause Haha. Love it, Pro.
♥SMACK♥ Dec 4, 2009

chained_bear *hearts this page* Dec 3, 2009

Prolagus There was an Italian spaghetto
who lived in the uselessness ghetto
He taught him the trick
The twirling technique
While dying, he murmured 'Perfetto!' Dec 3, 2009

uselessness Thank you, sensei. I will refine my technique in the spaghetto dojo and report on my progress once the art has been mastered. Dec 3, 2009

dontcry Uselessness: First of all, it sounds like your sauce is way too runny. You are sarting with whole tomatoes, aren't you? Let it cook down a bit more, okay? Also, don't rinse the pasta. That startch helps the sauce to cling. Next, using the bottom-most tine of your fork, select a couple two-three strands; lift them up (your fork should be at about eye level) to separate them from the pack; lower your fork(at an angle so they don't slip off) to a corner of your plate or bowl; press the tips of all tines down and at an angle; twirl; lift a bit to inspect for hangers-down; if spotted, twirl another half turn or so; move your mouth over the plate; open wide and insert the entire fork (excluding the handle). You have to move quickly, right? Also, try to focus on your twirling until you've got it down pat. No more typing while twirling. You're not ready. Dec 3, 2009

bilby How about Elvis Presley's "In Spaghetto"? Dec 3, 2009

frogapplause I'm waiting for Pro to use spaghetto in another sentence. Dec 3, 2009

bilby Comin' right over! Dec 3, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Besides, you can always lick the sauce off your walls in bilby style!
;-) Dec 3, 2009

bilby You started this whole thing uselessness so don't wimp out on us now. Twirl till you drop, sucker. Who cares if your dining room ends up looking like a scene from Kill Bill? After all the fine advice you've had. We need authentic spaghetti-eating technique from you and we need it now! Dec 3, 2009

PossibleUnderscore The strands will inevitably dangle, and that's when you slurp them up, quietly of course.
And just by the way, when you chop up your spaghetti, do you then spoon it up? Dec 3, 2009

uselessness I am right now at this very moment eating spaghetti without first cutting it. And tomato sauce is dribbling down my chin, and splattering across the table, and flinging onto my shirt. I swear it is impossible to twirl the noodles completely around the fork so that none dangle when you lift it. I cannot get my lips around a single bite! Surely these "manners" are merely a cruel joke at my expense? Dec 3, 2009

PossibleUnderscore What a grand sounding name.

Edit: I tried to spell name three times. The first time, it came out as mane, then mean then amen.

Further edit: *gets very back seat in middle* Dec 2, 2009

dontcry *makes popcorn*
*gets front row seat* Dec 2, 2009

ruzuzu I'm hoping the video will be part of the "Rules of the Tablecloth" series. Dec 2, 2009

reesetee Not to worry. Pro's "How to Twirl Spaghetti" video is due out soon. Dec 2, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Heh. You make me laugh.
I'll be sure to try that next time, though I imagine it will be so much harder than plunging. Dec 2, 2009

reesetee Ah, that's the trouble, my friend. Do not plunge. Rather, you ever-so-deftly tease out those couple two-three strands from the general strand mass and twirl them. This ensures that you won't resemble a small garden snake attempting to eat Brazil. (Chained: Brackets!) Dec 2, 2009

PossibleUnderscore How do you ensure only two or three strands get on your fork? Scrape them off the top then twirl? Do you twirl horizontally? Usually I plunge my fork into the middle of my bowl/plate and twirl vertically (which may or may not be considered 'uncivilized, oafish, and uncouth'). Dec 2, 2009

chained_bear 1. I was going to ask Prolagus, can one do that with other stiff things as well?
;) (evil wink)

But,
2. I don't care about the answer anymore since I read the rest of this page and am shocked--SHOCKED--that anyone above the age of six would CONSIDER cutting their spaghetti (or other long pasta), whether once or throughout the meal. SHOCKED.

3. A little-known secret to successful fork-twirling of long pasta is this: Do not start with too much on your fork. Start with a couple two-three strands only. This will ensure that the finished twirled forkful will fit nicely in one's mouth without resulting in loose ends or looking as if one is a small garden snake attempting to eat Brazil.

Edit: P.S. "When you cut a spaghetto..." made me laugh out loud. Dec 2, 2009

dontcry *SNORT* Dec 2, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Do your pour the sauce before or after blending?

Blended drinks remind me of halo halo. Dec 2, 2009

Prolagus *snort*
If you prefer, since it's quite stiff, you can make a batter and deep-fry it. Dec 2, 2009

ruzuzu Prolagus, tell us more about this blended drink--would you pour it into a spaghettini glass? Dec 2, 2009

Prolagus What happened to bilby's hilarious comment?*
ruzuzu: in that case, an Italian cries.
edit: never mind, it's on puritan purist. Dec 2, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Well, that almost killed spaghetti for me. I remember when I was small, my mum used to make me eat the bone marrow of some exotic dish we used to have. I cried. No, I didn't actually, but it was pretty bad.

And with the slurping issue, as long as it's quiet, short and doesn't flick up onto your face, spraying sauce around your nose, like a bolognaise moustache.

Bilby, is there something about spraying spaghetti that ignites your creative genius or does the wallpaper add another flavour?

Dec 2, 2009

reesetee Eeew! Dec 2, 2009

mollusque I thought the idea was to let the flavor out. Sort of like bone marrow. Dec 2, 2009

ruzuzu What happens when you cut angel hair pasta? Dec 2, 2009

Prolagus Every time you cut a spaghetto, an angel cries. Dec 2, 2009

reesetee When you cut it, all the flavor leaks out, you see.

This from a second-generation Italian, so listen to Pro first. :-) Dec 2, 2009

mollusque Cutting spaghetti is acceptable only if all the cutting occurs at once at the beginning of the meal. I use a crosshatch cut. Dec 2, 2009

bilby I usually throw spaghetti at the wall and lick it off when I do the annual cleaning.

What. Dec 2, 2009

dontcry Never cut the spaghetti, linguine, fettuccine, etc. Learn to twirl. Millions of Italian children can do it and so can you! You funny, Pro! Dec 2, 2009

uselessness Guess it's high time I became more civilized, oafless, and couth. Dec 2, 2009

Prolagus Or you can put your pasta in a blender after it's fully cooked, and drink it with a straw. Dec 2, 2009

Telofy Or you can break them to little pieces before cooking, that way no cutting is necessary. Honest. Dec 2, 2009

madmouth The character of spaghetti is compromised by cutting, it seems to me. There are plenty of short pastas out there, after all--why not eat those? Dec 2, 2009

Prolagus I'll upload a video of the twirling technique next time I cook spaghetti (alone). Dec 2, 2009

Prolagus They don't dangle out of your mouth if your twirling technique is good enough :)
Slurping is accepted as long as it is silent and the ectopic spaghetti portion is reasonably short. Otherwise you un-twirl your forkful and start over. Dec 2, 2009

uselessness I was hoping you, a real live Italian, might chime in! So do you just twirl the noodles around your fork without a spoon? If they dangle out of your mouth and require slurping, is that considered bad form? Dec 2, 2009

Prolagus If you want to eat spaghetti the way puritan purist Italians do, neither spoons nor cutting are allowed(*).
But there's no reason why everyone should eat spaghetti the way we do.

(*)This is only one of the many rules of the tablecloth (**). Should I create a list?

(**) This has nothing to do with rule of the tablecloth. Dec 1, 2009

PossibleUnderscore I'm not sure about rt, but I consider it an insult to the spaghetti, and I'm sure the Italians can say something about it too. I was always under the impression if the dangling strands from the twirl around your fork are too long, you cut them with your teeth.

I'm interested in other ways though.

Does anyone actually have spaghetti with meatballs? Dec 1, 2009

uselessness Okay... so, uh... what's wrong with cutting, exactly? Dec 1, 2009

PossibleUnderscore Hear Hear!

I use the 'proper' way, but without the spoon. I also had a friend who used the proper way, but she would pull her fork out of the spaghetti, leaving a little twirl on her spoon which she ate from. Dec 1, 2009

reesetee First rule: No cutting. Ever!

The wind-y method (with or without spoon) has always been de rigueur in my neck of the woods. Dec 1, 2009

uselessness How do you eat spaghetti? I'm told that the "proper" way is by using a spoon to keep the noodles in place as you wind them around the fork like a spool of thread. I usually cut all the noodles into bite-size pieces I can eat easily with a fork, but I'm told this makes me uncivilized, oafish, and uncouth. I'm also told Asian folks typically eat noodles (maybe not spaghetti) by dribbling them from their mouths and slurping them all up, which may be acceptable in certain cultures but strikes me as the most barbaric of all.

Friends, I need a definitive answer to this very important question! What is the right way? Dec 1, 2009

bilby Why, two of course! Apr 21, 2008

gangerh How many spaghettos does it take to make a spaghetti? Apr 21, 2008