Comments by jmjarmstrong

  • JM sometimes experiences the loneliness of the long-distance punner.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM reckons people who have had successful therapy once were worriers.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM has discovered that in a broad-minded society, the policy is to police yourself.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM reckons a sycophant is a person who stoops to concur.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM yells ‘Man overbored!’ whenever he watches cricket.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM has heard it said ‘I’m pink therefore I’m spam’.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM reckons a lie is aversion of the truth.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM knows that everyone does the wrong thing, sinner or later.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM has discovered that shiatsu is getting knead in the back.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM has to rewrite something as a comedy rather than a drama, basically he has to do an about farce.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM knows that hanging out with a poet is keeping bard company.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM is enjoying the book on witty repartee ‘Of Human Badinage’.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM reckons some journalists are rebels without a clause.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM met an author with writer’s block who was a man of few works.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM is of the opinion that critics are sometimes those who pan for gold.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM met a self effacing fella who was the shy who came in from the bold.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM reckons it sometimes seems that the meek shall inherit the hurt.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM watched a program that was pure as the drivel show.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM reckons TV is the bland leading the bland

    August 26, 2011

  • JM heard about an incompetent ship captain who grounds the warship he walks on.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM is very pleased as he has never made an undetected error.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM has just the problem for your solution.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM advises that virtual reality is its own reward.

    August 26, 2011

  • JM proposes that we are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion supports us

    August 26, 2011

  • JM believes that propaganda can be a gentlemanly goose.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM understands that pasteurise is too far to see.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM reckons when two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM reckons a Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM reckons those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if a plateau is a higher form of flattery.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM has a photographic memory which was never developed.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if his clock is hungry as it has gone back four seconds.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM has never considered garden figurines to be ignominious.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM is frequently criticised for excessive use of farce.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if drama instructors prefer to travel by stagecoach.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM has never attended a creative writing class but has had a simile experience.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM is very touched by his new felt coat.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if hotel managers get board with their jobs?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM was watching a magician driving down the road - then he turned into a drive way.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM asks ‘If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?’

    August 13, 2011

  • JM asks ‘If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?’

    August 13, 2011

  • JM asks ‘If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?’

    August 13, 2011

  • JM may be a closet claustrophobic.

    August 13, 2011

  • JM is planning on being totally partial today

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders does fuzzy logic tickle?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders does fuzzy logic tickle?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM ponders on the appropriate packaging material for a shipment of styrofoam?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM is wondering just how did a fool and his money ever get together in the first place?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM asks have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM asks have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM asks have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM often wonders why phonetic isn’t spelled the way it sounds?

    August 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if bird watchers ever get accused of storking.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM heard about the chicken that crossed the playground to get to the other slide.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM advises that it is perfectly acceptable to watch elephants bathing as they always have their trunks on.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM reckons those folk that say they heard it from the horse’s mouth are possibly neigh sayers.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM wonders what the caws of death was for that dead crow he saw.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM has noted that herbivores come in browns and graze.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM examined the bona-fidos of some pedigreed dogs.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM reckons evil wildebeests are just bad gnus.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM wonders if bees have house swarming parties.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM overheard some doves plotting a coo.

    July 27, 2011

  • JM observed a chicken crossing the road – poultry in motion!

    July 27, 2011

  • JM recommends contract lenses for the fine print

    July 27, 2011

  • JM has discovered that any closet is a walk-in closet if you just try hard enough.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM reckons it’s a day for firm decisions! Or is it?

    July 17, 2011

  • JM never uses a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM states – give me ambiguity or give me something else!

    July 17, 2011

  • JM can’t tell if he’s run out of invisible ink.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM has observed that all true wisdom is found on T shirts.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM knows that a thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM has not yet begun to procrastinate.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM wonders if there is another word for synonym.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM advises that the sooner you fall behind then the more time you will have to catch up.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM reckons two wrongs are only the beginning!

    July 17, 2011

  • JM has observed that the hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM wonders why it is that no one is listening until you make a mistake?

    July 17, 2011

  • JM knows that for every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM knows some folk who reach a conclusion because that’s the place where they got tired of thinking.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM is studying Quantum Mechanics – the dreams stuff is made of.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM observes that despite the cost of living it still remains quite popular.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM reckons when some folk are lost in thought it’s because it’s unfamiliar territory.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM recommends pillaging before burning.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM often gargles just to see if his throat leaks.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM thinks there is good in everybody but he hasn’t met everybody.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM knows that red meat is not bad for you – it’s the fuzzy green meat that’s bad for you.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM has discovered that letting the cat out of the bag is much easier than putting it back in.

    July 17, 2011

  • JM thoroughly enjoys his annual free trip around the sun.

    July 14, 2011

  • JM wonders if Lenin’s tomb is a communist plot?

    July 14, 2011

  • JM knows that two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

    July 14, 2011

  • JM knows that two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

    July 14, 2011

  • JM would like a chance to prove money can't make him happy.

    July 14, 2011

  • JM really believes that originality is the art of concealing your sources.

    July 14, 2011

  • JM thinks he had amnesia once - maybe twice.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM suggests that you treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM knows there is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".

    July 13, 2011

  • JM states: It's not who you know, it's whom you know.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if sacred cows make the best hamburgers.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM heard a bloke at the Unemployment Office say to the person behind the desk - "I didn't get to where I am today by listening to people like you!"

    July 13, 2011

  • JM offers his two rules for success: 1. Don’t ever tell all you know.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM offers his two rules for success: 1. Don’t ever tell all you know.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM takes everything in moderation – particularly moderation.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM knows that those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit him.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM reckons ten millipedes equal one centipede.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM wonders if people with B Negative blood type are naturally pessimistic?

    July 13, 2011

  • JM just can’t get enough minimalism.

    July 13, 2011

  • JM reckons that what most politicians say is sound. Just sound!

    July 4, 2011

  • JM can’t find his camouflage gear.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM gets a lot of exercise by pushing his luck.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM knows an oil prospector so he sent him a Get Well card.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM wonders if an optimist is a very dense fog and a bigamist is even denser.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM knows someone who has a great sense of rumour.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM wonders what the future holds for an historian.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM hears so many musicians who just aren’t noteworthy.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM knows that installing mufflers must be exhausting work.

    July 4, 2011

  • JM reckons that life would be pointless without geometry

    July 4, 2011

  • JM often wonders why the newsreader begins with “Good Evening”

    June 27, 2011

  • JM reckons if he agreed with you then you would both be wrong.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM has discovered that he used to be twins as he just found a photo that was taken when he was two!

    June 27, 2011

  • JM has a pressing engagement at the dry cleaners today.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM has a new atlas and it means the world to him.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM wonders what happens when typists lose their justification.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM has heard that the local money lender is selling pawnographic materials.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM wonders if priests have altar egos?

    June 27, 2011

  • JM was disappointed when the local blanket shop folded.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM heard of someone who thought a military coup was an aggressive pigeon.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM tried gold prospecting but it didn't pan out.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM understands these new corduroy pillows are making headlines.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM found a bullet in a dead bush and thinks it was a cartridge in a bare tree.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM wonders if making a phone call while on the road is a case of driving while intalksicated.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM enjoys mushrooms because they are such fun guys.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM has lost contact with his old electrician mates.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM thinks the future is doubtful for sceptics.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM reckons old bosses never die, much as you want them to

    June 27, 2011

  • JM is breeding parrots and centipedes to get some walkie-talkies.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM knows of an old chef who gave it up because he was deranged.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM once was a hotel clerk, but then he had reservations.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM tried working as a tailor but it was all just so-so.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM knows a dentist that uses braces as a stop-gap measure.

    June 27, 2011

  • JM has read that some gourmet seafood restaurants are floundering

    June 27, 2011

  • JM had to get some new tires and is now aware of inflationary pressures.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM has often wondered what Noah’s boat would have been like if he’d an arc welder.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM was fascinated by the Norwegian robot device that analyses birds – it Scandinavian.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM wonders if an amoeba gets splitting headaches?

    June 19, 2011

  • JM knows a mime who is determined to remain silent, to say the least.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM reckons lobotomy is a no-brainer.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM is having a bit of trouble with weightlifting but knows he’ll pick it up eventually.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM reckons a second chimney is superfluous.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM reckons the average ghost is mean spirited.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM readily admits to his pundamentalism.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM knows it only happened 24 hours ago but it really feels like yesterday.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM heard that the sales of irons are decreasing.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM observed the drummer was fascinated by the cymbals and realised that he must have been a cryptographer in his day job.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM realised that his old colander just can’t take the strain anymore.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM has heard that a new town is planned based on philanthropic principles and will be named Generocity.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM had his nap interrupted by a phone call and never did get the rest.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM aspires to work as a steeplejack.

    June 19, 2011

  • JM would like to be a twin but knows he couldn’t live with himself.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM knows a barista who was banned from making espresso so she lost her tamper.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM knows that shooting while blindfolded is an aimless pursuit.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM wonders if choking on an all day sucker while riding a carousel is lollygagging around?

    June 15, 2011

  • JM was going to set his trousers on fire but he’s never been one to burn his britches.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM wonders if bearded blokes can open a no interest shaving account?

    June 15, 2011

  • JM recognises that abstinence leaves a lot to be desired.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM is disappointed that business at the local candle factory seems to have tapered off.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM met a fellow who was a Freud of psychoanalysis.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM knows that you can really rely on high divers because of their deep end ability.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM read that police have started to canvas the area after six campers went missing.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM and a friend want to drive across the southern states of America just to see how long it Texas.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM has just heard that the local marine glue manufacturer’s plans have come unstuck and it seems likely to end in insolvency.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM knows that safety in mines is riddled with legal pitfalls.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM heard some electricians planning a night out to see some wire strippers.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM reckons the study of genealogy should be part of any descent education.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM reckons the study of genealogy should be part of any descent education.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM reckons the study of genealogy should be part of any descent education.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM is having trouble with leaks in the sprinkler system – it’s becoming a source of constant irrigation.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM wonders if anyone wrote an hobbituary when Tolkien passed away?

    June 15, 2011

  • JM is considering training as a watchmaker so he can set his own hours.

    June 15, 2011

  • JM finds attingency quite touching

    June 5, 2011

  • JM was thinking of getting a cardboard belt but decided it would be a waste of paper.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM was delighted when his torch batteries died.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM was sad to hear that his favourite online origami store has folded.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM heard about two silk worms having a race and they ended in a tie.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM is sure he could learn braille once he got a feel for it.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM didn't want to buy leather shoes, but eventually he was suede.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM is looking for puns about monorails because they always make for decent one-liners.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM has discovered that no matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM used to be a vegetarian but that was a missed steak.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM wonders if some folk owe their large circumference to too much pi.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM is an indecisive rower – can’t choose either oar.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM saw some dead batteries were given out free of charge.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM bought a pencil with an eraser at both ends and just can’t see the point!

    May 31, 2011

  • JM is inclined to be laid back.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM is running a spell check on his article about incantations.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM is excited to see how his new reversible jacket turns out.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM reckons greengrocers earn a meagre celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM was going to buy a book on phobias, but was afraid it wouldn't help.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM thinks double negatives are a no-no.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM wonders if the Atheist Association is really a non prophet organisation?

    May 31, 2011

  • JM finally got over his fear of hurdles.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM is writing a theatrical performance about puns. Really it’s just a play on words.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM just can’t put down the book he’s reading about anti-gravity.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM wonders if matadors only drink cafe au lait.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM tried to bribe the judge with a dish of polenta but was held in corntempt.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM reckons babushkas are full of themselves.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM observed that all the waterfowl had their eyes closed except for the Peking Duck.

    May 31, 2011

  • JM has often wondered if couples with water beds tend to drift apart.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM attended a function at the local TV station – the reception was excellent.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM is interested in becoming a human cannonball but wonders if he’s the right calibre.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM knows a very bad glassblower who inhaled and got a pane in the stomach.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM is trying to draw a cube but keeps getting a mental block.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM knows that train robbers must have a locomotive.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM extends his symphony to all lovers of classical music.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM reckons that those who do not want to be counted have taken leave of their census.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM knew there was a ghost at the hotel so he called for an inn spectre.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM met a poet who had written better poems (but he’d also written verse).

    May 25, 2011

  • JM wonders if Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM met an old power plant worker who was degenerating.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM went to such an emotional wedding that even the cake was in tiers.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM is learning Norse Code so he can send messages to Vikings.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM has encountered some managers who, given an inch, think they’re a ruler.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM must pay his exorcist so he doesn’t get repossessed.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM used to be a tap dancer until he fell in the sink.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM was hit on the head during a hailstorm and knocked out cold.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM knew a bloke who drove his car until the day of wreckoning.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM met an expert farmer who was outstanding in his field.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM doesn’t believe everything he hears about fleas and ticks – it’s all lice.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM wonders if overweight folk are thick and tired?

    May 25, 2011

  • JM reckons bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM wonders if a haunted elevator would lift the spirits?

    May 25, 2011

  • JM has been to the acupuncturist – that’s a jab well done.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM has observed an overcrowded panda habitat that was pandemonium.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM was delighted to meet Humphrey, the camel without humps.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM knows a bell ringer who got so tangled in his ropes that he tolled himself off.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM has discovered a great diet that is a triumph of mind over platter

    May 25, 2011

  • JM has been reading about that great French destroyer of floor coverings, Linoleum Blownapart.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM met a paediatrician with little patients.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM has become so skilful with his chain saw he has been promoted to branch manager.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM knows a man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

    May 25, 2011

  • JM still doesn’t want to discuss autoclesis.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM is searching for a position as a ghost autoangelist.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM ought to have autarchia.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM is not a willing auscultator in confined spaces.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM is attracted to attrahentcy.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM is joining the Asyndetic Association.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM draws a line at asymptote after finding that it just goes on and on and on.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM hasn’t been able to use the good word ‘astucious’ at all this week.

    May 20, 2011

  • JM is undertaking distance learning to become an astrophile.

    May 20, 2011

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