Comments by qms

  • As hither is mixed up with thither

    And whence is confounded with wither,

    If you would compose

    Faux biblical prose

    Prepare for a sweat and a swither.

    January 20, 2018

  • cui bono, you sensibly ask,

    When lawyers so muddle their task?

    When simpler folk heard

    A latin brocard

    They bowed to the learned man’s mask

    January 19, 2018

  • It starts as a commonplace meme,

    Repeated, becomes a grand theme.

    Its freshness once past

    It settles at last

    Retired as a philosopheme.

    January 18, 2018

  • Palaver that’s boredom’s camouflage

    Is chatter - no more than bavardage.

    Enlivened with zest

    Of banter and jest

    It jumps up to jolly persiflage.

    January 17, 2018

  • I’ve poked, I’ve prodded and strived.

    At last my conclusion’s arrived:

    When droopy your hose

    (But no other clothes)

    Uniquely are labelled down-gyved.

    January 16, 2018

  • Compare barrow-tram.

    January 16, 2018

  • The Lord when assembling a fit soul

    Is careless betimes in the wit dole.

    Inserting a brain

    He failed in his aim

    So Donald must think with his shithole.

    January 15, 2018

  • Miss Duncan made viewers wax amorous

    By dancing in garments diaphanous.

    The prim and the haughty

    Did think her quite naughty

    But art is at worst adiaphorous.

    January 15, 2018

  • Near speechless, the suffering nation

    Now mutters in utter frustration.

    The goblin’s obscenist

    New claim is his genius.

    We‘re driven to dazed mussitation.

    January 14, 2018

  • When Turks meet with friends we assume

    Thick coffee is poured to consume

    With plates of sweet bites

    That we call delights

    But locals embrace as loukoum.

    January 13, 2018

  • Prestige though it be at low tide,

    The humblest of creatures show pride,

    And perchance you will see

    A dandified bilby

    With ears freshly starched and bowtied.

    January 12, 2018

  • The president strikes his own coin;

    There ego and bad taste conjoin.

    If he can so brazenly

    Profane the old blazonry

    What symbols will next he purloin?

    January 12, 2018

  • See also comments at pottle.

    January 11, 2018

  • If sips don’t suffice then a lot’ll.

    By golly, just chug down the bottle!

    If you still can’t forget

    Then drown all regret

    In the bountiful flood of a pottle.

    See also comments at pottle-pot.

    January 11, 2018

  • drongo

    January 10, 2018

  • Our governors earn lots of mockery

    For mindlessly limp mediocrity.

    We need an infusion

    Of gender diffusion

    To stiffen the flaccid androcracy.

    January 10, 2018

  • You “found” it and it was wrong. I think the idea of a lexicographical site is that you check your sources. I can “find” anything in ten seconds of searching.

    January 9, 2018

  • Imprisoned you learn the enormity

    Of years of unchanged uniformity

    So prolonged confinement

    Promotes the refinement

    Of exquisite skills in chronometry.

    January 9, 2018

  • For some folk obliged to be frugal

    Adventure’s confined to a google.

    It’s not parsimony

    But dear matrimony -

    The price of the benisons jugal.

    January 8, 2018

  • Computers, they teach now at school,

    Displaced the beloved slide rule,

    But give not a damn

    For the old nomogram

    Which once was an elegant tool.

    January 7, 2018

  • Of dullards perhaps not the visiblest

    Once found, though, surely the risiblest.

    To mock the dimwitted

    Is even permitted

    If shown he’s a true perfectibilist.

    January 6, 2018

  • The dancing impulse is eclectic,

    Exotic or comfy domestic.

    In oldsters and hipsters

    Terpsichre’s whispers

    Inspire expression orchestic.

    January 5, 2018

  • According to popular notion

    They forage with fiercest devotion.

    Thus folklore assured it,

    That one who’s obdurate

    Be known as an obstinate bauson.

    January 4, 2018

  • This name for the phenomenon comes from French encyclopedist and philosopher Denis Diderot's description of such a situation in his Paradoxe sur le comédien.1 During a dinner at the home of statesman Jacques Necker, a remark was made to Diderot which left him speechless at the time, because, he explains, "l’homme sensible, comme moi, tout entier à ce qu’on lui objecte, perd la tête et ne se retrouve qu’au bas de l’escalier" ("a sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument levelled against him, becomes confused and can only think clearly again when he finds himself at the bottom of the stairs").

    In this case, "the bottom of the stairs" refers to the architecture of the kind of hôtel particulier or mansion to which Diderot had been invited. In such houses, the reception rooms were on the étage noble, one floor above the ground floor.2 To have reached the bottom of the stairs means to have definitively left the gathering.

    January 3, 2018

  • Poor Angus entreated her hourly

    In wooing persistent and flowery,

    But to his dismay

    At end of the day

    He trudged home defeated and dowie.

    January 3, 2018

  • Oh, very good, Tank! Your posting does not provide a definition but my googling turned up this at Wiktionary:




    qobar (plural not attested)

    1. A dry fog of the upper Nile. quotations

    o 1800, Report of the Board of Regents (volume 44, page 237)

    In Ethiopia, where it is called qobar, this haze is of extraordinary density and hides all the features of the landscape beyond the distance of a mile, and conceals stars of the third magnitude even in the zenith.

    o 2010, Charles Barnett, Iscariot (page 265)

    Pietro Gandolfo, inside the old sedan, rumbled by, hidden by the dunes and the early morning qobar, dry fog of the Nile. He fidgeted nervously. He had no idea what to expect ahead.

    It is a pleasure to come across an authentically obscure word rather than madeupicals like “shoemit = vomit in your shoes.”

    January 2, 2018

  • The world grows alarming and scarier;

    How fight off impending hysteria?

    You tame what you fear

    And save what is dear

    By penning in neat adversaria.

    January 2, 2018

  • The generous folk who speak Manx

    Have swollen our lexical ranks.

    Oh, let us exalt it

    And welcome the qualtagh!

    The new year begins with our thanks.

    January 1, 2018

  • Indulge in a cleansing obscenity

    Then face the new year with serenity.

    Despair put away!

    You’ve aged but a day;

    The changed date marks only perennity.

    December 31, 2017

  • He publicly calls for sweet amity

    While counting a critic an enemy.

    He widens each rift,

    Unmoored and adrift

    And tossed on the billows of anomie.

    December 30, 2017

  • From Ben Zimmer’s review in the Wall Street Journal of the book Origins of Kibosh:

    Mr. Little, a professor at Mississippi State University, was the first to suggest in a piece for Comments on Etymology that “kibosh” may derive from the word “kurbash,” a long whip used for punishment in parts of the Muslim world. It originally appeared in Arabic and Turkish, borrowed into French as “courbache” and into English as “kurbash” and other variant spellings.

    That theory received a big boost when Mr. Goranson, who works at the Duke University library, discovered a poem published in London as a broadside around 1830. The anonymous author uses the expression “put on the kibosh” and explains in the next line, “That is, if they was to introduce the lash.”

    December 30, 2017

  • Philanthropists make a vocation

    Of bountiful funds’ allocation.

    If fame’s the reward

    It’s nothing untoward -

    Small payment for lavish dotation.

    December 29, 2017

  • See Alphonse-and-Gaston.

    December 28, 2017

  • The phrase "Alphonse-and-Gaston routine", or "Alphonse-Gaston Syndrome", indicates a situation wherein one party refuses to act until another party acts first... Also, the phrase has a specific meaning in baseball lingo: when two fielders allow a catchable ball to drop between them, it is known as “doing the Alphonse and Gaston.”

    Alphonse and Gaston was an American comic strip by Frederick Burr Opper, featuring a bumbling pair of Frenchmen with a penchant for politeness.

    December 28, 2017

  • Ecophobia, let it be said

    Won’t trouble a sensible head.

    It’s madness abounding

    To fear your surrounding;

    An asinine instance of dread.

    December 28, 2017

  • See gangerh’s comment of Jan. 12, 2013. If it makes sense it does not count. It is an exercise in irrelevancy. A bit redundant for the Wordnik Community page perhaps, but amusing nevertheless.

    December 28, 2017

  • milquetoast

    December 27, 2017

  • For mortals the visit is brief

    And time a deceiver and thief,

    And yet I must marvel

    At assuaging arval.

    The coronach tempers our grief.

    December 27, 2017

  • infestation

    December 27, 2017

  • The captain’s brief health food dalliance

    Provoked the old sea cook’s galley rants.

    The oaths and the bitchin’

    Just poured from that kitchen.

    To enter there proved a tar’s valiance.

    December 26, 2017

  • In crèches that model the geniture

    The infant is always the cynosure.

    While Mary’s displayed

    Poor Joe’s in the shade,

    His fatherhood being a sinecure.

    December 25, 2017

  • Per Ernest the story is factual,

    That this is the source of our cracknel:

    You blow up a swine;

    The meat comes out fine –

    The crunchy fat chunks are the shrapnel.

    Find out more about Ernest Bafflewit

    December 24, 2017

  • Comedians in cold calculation

    Know old jokes still cause cachinnation;

    So spade up and sift

    There’s many a gift

    Unearthed in repastination.

    December 23, 2017

  • Reports of unwanted dormition

    Might call for a thoughtful physician,

    But if shadows creeping

    Are deeper than sleeping

    Then turn to your favorite mortician.

    December 22, 2017

  • Be quicker to pray than to preach,

    More eager to learn than to teach;

    For wisdom’s true essence

    Can be obmutescence

    And silence be deeper than speech.

    December 21, 2017

  • The elf lass enjoyed her hot Lapp cha

    Kept warm by the jacket that wrapped her.

    As Rudolph last Christmas

    Is stew meat on this pass

    His hide makes an elf a fine kapta.

    December 20, 2017

  • The goblin prefers adulation

    But settles for villification.

    So praise or defame,

    To him – much the same.

    He simply can’t bear ignoration.

    December 19, 2017

  • A comma before “and,” as some insist,

    Should not be required in a comma list.

    My faction is small

    But still I stand tall

    And proud to be called an anomalist.

    December 18, 2017

  • A rhymer sunk deep in dejection

    May sometimes support an exception,

    And if he should lack words

    Will bend over backwards

    In postures of pained dorsiflexion.

    December 17, 2017

  • Whence comes this alarming eruption

    Of ravening public corruption?

    Can voters in masses

    Be consummate asses

    And Everyman be a blunt nupson?

    December 16, 2017

  • You’re telling us that when a Bogotan steps in dog shit he cries, “lo que hace tu mascota?” A remarkably placid people, those Bogotans. (Bogotenes? Bogotanos?)

    BTW, the link seems to be a dud.

    December 15, 2017

  • The writing and sale never ceases

    Of guides and advice with the thesis

    That travelers need

    A docent to heed,

    Else fail in their periegesis.

    December 15, 2017

  • Thank you, bilby.

    Have you noticed that lately athletes and celebrities who are given praise will usually say that they are “humbled?” They can jog to the podium wearing an ear-to-ear grin, hoist the gaudy trophy and expand on how humbling the experience is. Of course, they are proud as peacocks, as they have a right to be, but they are unwilling to say so. I think that “humble” may be undergoing an inversion into its opposite. Just as “literally” has come to mean “figuratively,” I fear that “humble” will soon mean “proud.”

    I am an old-fashioned bloke and happy to declare that I am literally proud to receive your praise.

    December 14, 2017

  • The rough fellows draining the keg,

    Though wasted, played mumblety peg.

    It never would fail

    That one would impale

    A foot with a foul jockteleg.

    December 14, 2017

  • Repeat till your poem’s replete

    With hints of the joys indiscreet

    When epanalepsis

    Shall marry prolepsis

    And endlessly loop and repeat.

    December 13, 2017

  • I knew an old fellow called Jim

    Who told me it once was his whim

    To take a new name

    And make it a game

    To live a few days anonym.

    December 12, 2017

  • A pause before action is hesitancy.

    A trifling aversion is reticency,

    But if the refusal

    Is firmer than usual

    Reluctance amounts to a renitency.

    December 11, 2017

  • Though “brotherhood” cites an affinity

    Not literal consanguinity

    I still find it cloying.

    Most folk are annoying

    And striking for stark peregrinity.

    December 10, 2017

  • In swaddling we’re merely zoetic.

    At school we are coaxed to noetic,

    And if we’re well taught

    And deepen our thought

    We gracefully age to poetic.

    December 9, 2017

  • As outrages daily accumulate

    The choices confuse and obnubilate:

    To keep right on caring

    Or join the despairing?

    Which faction ought I to annumerate?

    December 8, 2017

  • Those learned in mystical lore talk

    Of wizard, bewitcher and warlock,

    And philters and potions

    To warp your emotions

    Kept hidden down deep in a dorlach.

    December 7, 2017

  • He is quite a self-effacing fellow, but I will confer with him.

    December 6, 2017

  • Most people think Ernest a dull gent

    Hi mom though is much more indulgent.

    To her he’s aglow,

    The star of the show,

    A man who is modest yet fulgent.

    Find out more about Ernest Bafflewit

    December 6, 2017

  • When Ernest and friends fully lubricate

    Oh, how those staid scholars pursue debate!

    A great deal is said

    Though scant light is shed.

    They digress and hap’ly obnubilate.

    Find out more about Ernest Bafflewit

    December 5, 2017

  • In hiring be never erroneous;

    The new guy could turn out felonious,

    So google his name

    In search of ill fame

    And pray that you find him idoneous.

    December 4, 2017

  • I reside in the city of Haverhill, Massachusetts. Lately I have been learning a lot about the origin of this name. A little over a week ago the Word of the Day was haverbread (see comments there), and today’s WotD, haverel, is a near homonym of the city name. The name of the city is pronounced in these parts as a two syllable word to rhyme with “cave thrill,” whereas the middle syllable in “haverel” gets some slight acknowledgment. I learned haver can mean oats/oatmeal or to talk foolishly. I have seen little of the former locally and find the latter no more abundant here than elsewhere. Of course, the American city is named after an English town. If anyone can testify to that town’s reputation for either oats or foolishness I would be glad to read it.

    In these troubled times the braver will

    Indulge in expressions most flavorful.

    A colorful word

    Is more likely heard

    When discourse is noisy and haverel.

    December 3, 2017

  • Most tropical places defeat

    The parting of water and heat.

    It’s simplest to purge it

    By filling a gurglet

    To make a sublimely cool treat.

    December 2, 2017

  • Most of the usage examples supplied apply the word as a synonym for “executioner.” None of the aggregated dictionaries (nor the OED) extend the word to include this meaning.

    December 1, 2017

  • To uncover truth and illumine

    Is highest of gifts that are human,

    But scoundrels like Trump

    Will cry, “Kill the ump!”

    In justified fear of the doomsman.

    December 1, 2017

  • He could be the fattest fat cat

    And feeding his greed in plain fact.

    The rabble aroused

    By lies he’s espoused

    Are played by a shrewd mobocrat.

    November 30, 2017

  • A stalactite drips in the night

    Begetting a child that’s upright,

    An offspring of crystal

    To rise obeliscal,

    In darkness a bright stalagmite.

    November 29, 2017

  • As Byron confessed to pal Shelley,

    “Mysterious urges compel me.

    I’m misunderstood.

    I’m trying to be good

    But forced to be always rakehelly.”

    November 28, 2017

  • Pigheadedness’ better relation

    Is stubbornness raised up a station,

    But reason defied

    With obstinate pride

    We dignify as obduration.

    November 27, 2017

  • Find fervent apostles of Trump’s

    In rustical family clumps.

    I ask: Must a numps’ kin

    Be always a bumpkin?

    Can cousins in town not be numps?

    November 26, 2017

  • Old-timers used ASCII and coffe

    Assembling slash and apostrophe.

    Now digital fogies

    They loathe mew emojis

    As prefab unearned ideography.

    November 25, 2017

  • For ages has crofter labor fed

    The gentry who lay late abed.

    They rise warm to eat

    Fine dainties of wheat;

    While cold crofters gnaw haverbread.

    November 24, 2017

  • The fading of recall is cruel

    So savor Thanksgiving and Yule

    And keep them in memory

    As though in a gemmary

    For each is a luminous jewel.

    November 23, 2017

  • Eat lots of fruitcake and I’ll wager

    The aftereffects will be major.

    They’ll shortly erupt

    Unplanned and abrupt

    In a way that is doubly a fragor.

    November 22, 2017

  • The old man despised daughter Beth

    So left her bereft at his death,

    And even nuncupative

    His will was vituperative,

    To wound her with his dying breath.

    November 21, 2017

  • Though most people think he is daft he

    Makes some think, “not crazy but crafty.”

    I doubt it’s a feint

    ‘Cause clever he ain’t.

    The man is authentically rafty.

    November 20, 2017

  • The nurture of worms will procure

    The thread for a cloth to thrill couture.

    There’s truly no ilk

    For elegant silk

    That’s patiently wound ‘round a filature.

    November 19, 2017

  • I can think of another definition:

    At naming of nates he’s astutist,

    Assessing the fullest and cutest.

    He calls them patoots

    Or maximal glutes;

    The man is a classical glutist.

    November 18, 2017

  • The Judgement by Bosch is a picture

    That study can always make richer

    So look and beware

    Of characters there,

    The lustful, the glutton, the micher.

    November 18, 2017

  • A limerick’s perfectly fine

    With rhymes at the end of the line,

    But really the best trick

    Would make it telestich,

    A challenge I’ll gladly decline.

    November 17, 2017

  • We dream of a heaven afar

    Viewing life as a long cafila,

    So though we are weary,

    The way slow and dreary,

    We trudge toward a bright Shangri-la.

    November 16, 2017

  • After months in the arctic I think

    My friends will recoil from my stink

    And read in my stare

    The stain of that glare,

    The infamous mad’ning ice-blink.

    November 15, 2017

  • Old Camelot’s typical habitude

    Promoted a genial placitude.

    Their war was all talk

    And battles were mock,

    Replcaed by fine costume and haslitude.

    November 14, 2017

  • She got a surprise, dead Nell did;

    She learned of a secret that hell hid:

    It’s no fiery bed

    But what you most dread.

    For warmth-loving Nell it is gelid.

    November 13, 2017

  • Oh, pity the smart Scottish boy

    Departing to take new employ:

    His future is bright

    But farewells a blight,

    For he bears the cost of his foy.

    November 12, 2017

  • See yoni and blush.

    November 11, 2017

  • Some brains are essentially blind

    To statements of figurative kind.

    To say that asemia

    Is mental anemia

    Would baffle the literal mind.

    November 11, 2017

  • Though seldom are ladies and men verbose

    On subjects so private and tenebrose:

    Know obstinate movement

    Is coaxed to improvement

    By silently sipping a senna dose.

    November 10, 2017

  • Stunt artists must practice the sham smack

    To make it look real - not a ham whack,

    And mime with precision

    The fist/face collision,

    Persuasively faking a lamback.

    November 9, 2017

  • Sub-rosa assassins and spies

    Must find a non-threatening guise -

    A helpful Rotarian

    Or harmless rosarian -

    To lead astray curious eyes.

    November 8, 2017

  • The best pie in all Ruritania

    Is layers of dough plus extranea!

    The thinner you roll it

    The more I’ll extol it,

    Admitting to deep phyllomania.

    November 7, 2017

  • Some men consider it just a sin

    To risk disarray from a gust of wind,

    So scarf and a cap

    Protectively wrap

    The delicate plumes of the muscadin.

    November 6, 2017

  • Admire his entrepeneurship;

    Applaud his keen connoisseurship!

    He’s captured his prize

    With well-crafted lies

    And crowned himself king of disworship.

    November 5, 2017

  • He once strutted proud and ascendant

    In glittering orange quite splendent.

    I’m sure he’ll look cute

    In a tangerine suit,

    The mark of the shackled defendant.

    November 4, 2017

  • A lalophobia sufferer’s weak

    At tasks that require he speak,

    But he can do fine

    With gesture and sign

    So miming’s the work he should seek.

    November 3, 2017

  • A murmur unnoticed before

    Now hubbub that’s hard to ignore.

    A growing fremescence,

    A kind of tumescence,

    That swells to a mighty uproar.

    November 2, 2017

  • It seems that an authentic deity

    Should get what he wants with velleity,

    Unless it transpire

    That gods don’t desire

    ‘Cause wanting conflicts with aseity.

    November 1, 2017

  • See gyre-carlin.

    October 31, 2017

  • Variously spelled: gyre-carline, gyre-carling, gyir-carling, gyre-carling, gy-carling, gay-carlin.

    October 31, 2017

  • Each dragon that’s fiercely fire-snarlin’

    Or toddlin’ ghoulish dire darlin’

    We may think adorable

    And cutely mock-horrible

    But dread the approaching gyre-carlin.

    October 31, 2017

  • Buy tripe that is bright white and spongey

    Then braise it with onions and fungi

    And leave it to simmer

    Till pallor grows dimmer

    And all is deliciously mungy.

    October 30, 2017

  • Some pols’ tool of choice is their wit

    For others faux bio’s more fit,

    But fibbing and jape

    Can’t match a good graip

    When Donald starts pitching his shit.

    October 29, 2017

  • Discernment was not her best quality

    So Sheila was flustered and all at sea:

    “The man I want ain’t

    Some fuckin’ Greek saint.

    That’s not why I’m takin’ menology!”

    October 28, 2017

  • By right he’s his party’s prolocutor

    By nature a cheesy provocateur.

    What little makes sense

    Still gives great offense.

    By God, the guy only can talk ordure!

    October 27, 2017

  • The boys at the bar slump and hunker

    And lie as they get ever drunker.

    Truth little avails

    To tame their tall tales

    Of conquests each made as a younker.

    October 26, 2017

  • The hunter’s a kind of assassin

    Whose keen eye will fatally fasten

    On sanglier young

    Who, killed, are then flung

    In pots for a meal of marcassin.

    October 25, 2017

  • They say that you can’t write a poem.

    So set yourself down and you show ‘em!

    Give ‘em rhythm and rhyme

    And make it sublime,

    With epilogue, footnotes and proem.

    October 24, 2017

  • The raids are increasingly bold,

    Now salmon are traded for gold.

    Oh, where is the paladin

    Who’ll rescue our alevin

    Before their breeding ground’s sold?


    October 23, 2017

  • In Oxbridge they boast of their past

    But plain speech would leave dons aghast,

    So high academia

    Will call it encenia

    To hide that they’re having a blast.

    October 22, 2017

  • For boys in the gentry of yore

    Birth order told what was in store.

    The first won the prize gig,

    The last was the tithe-pig,

    To serve in the church evermore.

    October 21, 2017

  • Our rights he erodes by attrition

    And justice withholds by omission.

    Our gov is gazumped

    Or, worse yet, it’s Trumped,

    Unless we achieve a dismission.

    October 20, 2017

  • Australians display an odd trait

    Addressing the lowly or great:

    Call it aphasia

    Or antonomasia

    But blokes of all kinds are called “mate.”

    October 19, 2017

  • The prescriptivist fights, and he shall again,

    Against the descriptivist’s balagan.

    He’ll rage and defame

    In the conference game

    But ‘tweentimes he’ll make him a pal again.

    October 18, 2017

  • In Mass. we will drop the last “R”

    Though some find the custom bizarre,

    But see bilby’s rhyme

    Those same would call crime!

    The Aussies are bolder by far!

    October 17, 2017

  • Though pains of the past still endure

    What oracle forecasts a cure?

    For that job enlist

    A probabalist -

    Mistrust any sage who’s too sure.

    October 17, 2017

  • They honor Ayn Rand and von Mises

    So know naught of judgment in crisis.

    In true catallactics

    The salient fact is

    Invariant truth fits all sizes.

    October 16, 2017

  • My couple has started this train

    Then bilby and I swapped disdain.

    A moiety’s done

    When I finish this one.

    Can we call it a demi-dizain?

    October 16, 2017

  • My fragile contentment was fleeting,

    Now marred by Tasmanian bleating.

    How comes he so hostile

    To OED gospel?

    In Oz does good sense stand for cheating?

    October 15, 2017

  • bilby has shrewdly discerned my reason for preferring the OED definition. In an emergency I invite the reader to repeat my contribution nine more times.

    October 15, 2017

  • A dutiful rhymer must strive

    To keep dying verse forms alive.

    The limerick style

    Succeeds in its trial

    So long as its lines number five.

    With negligible metrical strain

    Are limericks linked in a chain;

    The reader’s not troubled

    By limericks doubled

    To make a neglected dizain.

    October 15, 2017

  • As defined by the OED: A poem or stanza of ten lines.

    October 15, 2017

  • Old measures make palates alert

    At feasts for surveyors of dirt.

    They’ll fill up a plate

    With hides and virgate

    And caruscate cake for desert.

    October 14, 2017

  • To every question the girl asked

    His answer unheard would hurl past.

    She realized speed dating

    Is no way of mating

    And felt like a ship in a whirlblast.

    October 13, 2017

  • Alas, there’s no foe to be blamed,

    No noble defense to be claimed.

    A player defaced

    By a solo misplaced

    Abjectly admits he’s self-maimed.

    October 13, 2017

  • A fellow I know is a blogger,

    An alt-right conspiracy flogger.

    No absence of facts

    Or motive distracts

    From work of a true pettifogger.

    October 12, 2017

  • The Irish, my ancestral race,

    Play ball at a furious pace.

    They kick and they dribble

    But, sure, there’s no quibble -

    You don’t catch the ball with your face.

    October 11, 2017

  • Good Juliet, a nursing sensation,

    Would burst into sweet cantillation.

    Her unbidden trilling

    Made illness less chilling

    And filled me with warm consolation.

    October 11, 2017

  • In Tudor days only few could be

    A fat and contented feodary.

    The rich orphan scam

    (A pious old sham)

    Enabled enrichment quite duty-free.

    October 10, 2017

  • The OED provides the following definitions:

    1. a. One who holds lands of an overlord on condition of homage and service; a feudal tenant, a vassal.

    b. A subject, dependant, retainer, servant.

    2. An officer of the ancient Court of Wards.

    3. A confederate.

    The Collins Dictionary reports that it is “a variant spelling of feudary. ” Pronunciation guidance confirms “feud” as the first syllable.

    October 10, 2017

  • Rhetorical tempests do blight us

    And tweet blasts asudden affright us.

    The ship of state drifts,

    It plunges and lifts

    And shakes in the jaws of euripus.

    October 9, 2017

  • The lexical drudge must explain

    And make every mystery plain.

    The job is to teach

    The details of speech

    And spew forth examples amain.

    October 8, 2017

  • The new bride needs counsel to guide her

    But finds it too often denied her.

    The groom's jealous dam

    Makes family a sham,

    And glories in being a chidester.

    October 7, 2017

  • Fox hunters preparing to go

    Hear brazen horns wavering blow,

    But first a tantivy

    En masse to the privy

    Then mount with a brave tallyho!

    October 6, 2017

  • A door lock's a frail mechanism

    And ours is an archaic system,

    But she sees great glory in

    Devices Victorian

    So safety defers to ancientism.

    October 5, 2017

  • The stories appall the whole nation.

    The villains outrage in rotation.

    True, winners take spoils,

    But conscience recoils

    At boldness of such malversation.

    October 4, 2017

  • Though some think it clever and fancy

    I call it profane necromancy

    To exhume in job lots

    These mouldering Scots

    Like kippage and forlorn wanchancy.

    October 3, 2017

  • A transplant is tricky. Results may vary.

    A heart that once beat in a voluptuary

    May later be placed

    In one meek and chaste

    And render a future tumultuary.

    October 2, 2017

  • I'm following you this time. It's obvious that psst is an initialism for "pun surreptitiously secreted in text."

    October 1, 2017

  • It took me overnight, but when I awoke this morning I finally saw the pun buried deep in bilby's comment: "new Rolexes" - I think? In mysterious ways works that mind.

    October 1, 2017

  • When Gossip begins to flap her jaw

    The carrion crones will snap and caw

    And this will incite

    A backbiting blight,

    An orgy of spite and clapperclaw.

    October 1, 2017

  • I ponder the retro reflexes

    Of Britain's entrenched eurosceptics:

    Can doctors retrain

    The xenophobe brain

    Within bounds of strict neuroethics?

    September 30, 2017

  • A leader should be an enchanter

    And not a coarse bullying ranter.

    How comes it about

    We're led by a lout?

    Is it earned or a random mishanter?

    September 29, 2017

  • What blossoms in floral vernacular

    Are abject, albeit spectacular?

    What bouquet subsumes

    In penitent blooms

    Devotion while being piacular?

    September 28, 2017

  • Edmond Hoyle (1672 – 29 August 1769 was a writer best known for his works on the rules and play of card games. The phrase "according to Hoyle" came into the language as a reflection of his generally perceived authority on the subject; since that time, use of the phrase has expanded into general use in situations in which a speaker wishes to indicate an appeal to a putative authority.

    September 27, 2017

  • Debating, according to Hoyle,

    Exemplifies cool reason's toil.

    But reason is scant

    In goblinesque rant;

    It's heated and hate-fueled garboil.

    September 27, 2017

  • Thank you, kind ruzuzu.

    September 26, 2017

  • The task of the editing tribe

    Is chiding the indifferent scribe

    With signs not too obvious,

    Discreet, like the obelus,

    That seem more a hint than a jibe.

    September 26, 2017

  • Vulgarity fits, that's de minimis,

    But let's not be bashful or timorous:

    Each twitter enlarges

    The bill of our charges -

    The goblin and crew I call criminous.

    September 25, 2017

  • A German-speaking friend writes to tell me that I got the pronunciation of verein wrong, so here is another limerick to cover the bases.

    When cat and companion combine

    In union humano-feline

    I'm quite at a loss

    To know who's the boss.

    It must be a working verein.

    September 24, 2017

  • A rhymer should be fairly literate

    And rewriting must be inveterate

    To polish and shine

    And tune every line

    Until the damned verses are better writ.

    September 24, 2017

  • Surveying the legal terrain

    For linkage that will not enchain,

    Suppress your keen urge

    To partner or merge

    And choose a less binding verein.

    September 23, 2017

  • See epitomize.

    September 22, 2017

  • A nation thought noble and generous

    Looks threatening now and sinistrous.

    When governed by fear

    It's bound to appear

    No beacon of hope but facinorous.

    September 22, 2017

  • The farmer must fill up his days

    In trimming his crop so it pays.

    Folks stray in their walks

    Through maize in its stalks

    Enjoying the autumn mizmaze.

    September 21, 2017

  • A flea circus's basic equipage

    Is prone to some natural slippage,

    So dogs are kept by

    To replenish supply

    And muster the minimum kippage.

    September 20, 2017

  • Pale daybreak reveals a new mystery -

    Will ever we know the true history?

    The drinker's evasions

    On wounds and abrasions

    Amuse but are clear casuistry.

    September 19, 2017

  • Philosophers pursuing wisdom

    Are always at risk of simplism.

    Each elegant plan

    Will least govern man

    Achieving unique minarchism.

    September 18, 2017

  • Though long past her mouse-catching day

    She thinks current comforts her pay.

    This dizzy old cat

    Is a physiocrat,

    Convinced this is nature's true way.

    September 18, 2017

  • In waiting rooms outside the docs'

    The tv persistently squawks.

    Oh, please make it stop!

    It's crude agitprop -

    That 'news' they distribute at Fox!

    September 17, 2017

  • A wise soul takes pause and enjoys

    The balance of duties and joys.

    When harsh day is done

    Yet night not begun

    He savors the brief equipoise.

    September 16, 2017

  • Old Dante told so lurid a story

    Of suffering down in purgatory

    To make a good case

    That divine distaste

    Is stronger than objurgatory.

    September 15, 2017

  • See patrimony.

    September 15, 2017

  • To some he's a bad grammarian,

    To others a mad contrarian,

    But Ernest prefers

    Unfetttered words.

    He's truly a latitudinarian.

    Find out more about Ernest Bafflewit

    September 14, 2017

  • On such things do they ruminate in Oz.

    September 14, 2017

  • From far and near hear them all ululate

    As grievances endlessly pullulate.

    The deeds that offend

    They cannot amend

    But, oh, are they able to fulminate!

    September 12, 2017

  • The power of wishing is awesome

    For dreaming can solve ills or cause 'em

    Select your wish well

    You may have to dwell

    Within your own heterocosm.

    September 11, 2017

  • His phony compassionate pose'll

    Be seen as a feeble proposal,

    The work of a loser,

    A clumsy fake newser,

    A "leader" who's only a losel.

    September 10, 2017

  • To lustful dyspeptic King Henery

    Contemplative types were the enemy,

    So monks and their abbots

    Were chased out like rabbits

    And torches were put to each cenoby.

    September 9, 2017

  • Use language with careful facility.

    Let silence project as humility.

    Some, when laconic,

    Seem downright moronic,

    The artful are praised for pauciloquy.

    September 8, 2017

  • The busker has trodden in motley

    And crowds have applauded him hotly,

    So nurtured his claim

    To fortune and fame

    Arriving, he's sure, odd-come-shortly.

    September 7, 2017

  • The man seemed a comical crock to us,

    But Trumpland turned out to be populous.

    The boastful jamoke

    No longer's a joke -

    The goblin has won and he's nocuous.

    September 6, 2017

  • My tossing and turning has ceased -

    The sun has arrived in the East.

    In darkness I'm mopeful

    But dawn makes me hopeful

    I'll grind out a couplet at least.

    September 5, 2017

  • The romantic cities of mystery

    Arise by shores of distant sea.

    Remotest on earth

    They tell me is Perth,

    Excelling in terms of longinquity.

    September 4, 2017

  • The audio buttons on Word entry pages have never worked on my iPad, although they do sometimes work on my pc. I should have checked the OED, which includes the accent aigu. I see now that Wordnik does have an entry for corvée as well. Picky, picky. I wonder what the word sounds like in strine?

    Your teen will account you a jerk

    If you should oblige him to work.

    He'll face with dismay

    His domestic corvee.

    It's deep in his nature to shirk.

    September 4, 2017

  • Officials who use inside dope

    May slither the slippery slope:

    Abuse and perversion

    Or simply parergon

    To help a poor senator cope?

    September 3, 2017

  • Your teen will account you a jerk

    If you should oblige him to work.

    He will resent sorely

    His domestic corvee.

    It's deep in his nature to shirk.

    September 2, 2017

  • When light fades to dim crepuscule

    Take heart in a new opuscule.

    A limerick writ

    Means brains that are fit,

    That time's not yet claimed a new fool.

    September 1, 2017

  • To know if the land's right for grain

    Assess what the crops can attain.

    If rainfall's the limiter

    Then build a lysimeter

    To see what the soil will retain.

    August 31, 2017

  • It sways with the swells and the breeze

    Where rivers flow in to the seas,

    The seafarer's token

    The long journey's broken,

    The weathered but welcome balize.

    August 30, 2017

  • My lettuce and spinach so leafy grow

    I plucked 'em along with radicchio.

    With oniony zest

    And casually dressed

    They make an inviting pasticcio.

    August 29, 2017

  • When this age is done (and God speed!)

    What monument fits Donald's deed?

    A faint anaglyph

    Carved in some cliff

    In lowest relief fills the need.

    August 28, 2017

  • I face a confounding conundrum:

    On alternate days I become dumb.

    My lyre is unstrung,

    The songs I'd have sung

    Are sunk in cacophonous humstrum.

    August 27, 2017

  • Memorializing lost friends

    The clamor of laughter ascends:

    Let drinks that we quaff

    Be their cenotaph.

    Fond recall's a marker that mends.

    August 26, 2017

  • The restless afflicted with stray foot

    Are never persuaded to stay put.

    Their home is a plane,

    A tour boat or train,

    Their worldly goods packed in a bahut.

    August 25, 2017

  • I knew a most privileged cat.

    The throne where this prodigy sat

    Was lavishly built

    With silver and gilt,

    Upholstered in rare galuchat.

    August 24, 2017

  • See another version of the back-handed compliment in comments at facetely.

    August 23, 2017

  • How praise when the show fails completely?

    Why, smiling, just comment discreetly,

    "You've never been better!"

    It's true to the letter

    And solves your dilemma facetely.

    See another solution to this problem in comments at dabster.

    August 23, 2017

  • The peace of the house may require

    A deaf ear to what could transpire.

    A prudent necessity

    Is selective cecity -

    To act the benevolent liar.

    August 22, 2017

  • Thank you, bilby.

    August 22, 2017

  • With passage of years we should learn

    That night's not the time for concern.

    Lay worries aside

    For they will abide

    And await when the sky turns azurn.

    August 21, 2017

  • A skunk came last night and he stinked us.

    I count this event a distinct plus:

    There's little that's minus

    In clearing the sinus

    And giving the throat a swift linctus.

    August 20, 2017

  • Is there a reason that toped (see 11/1/2016 below) is unacceptable?

    August 19, 2017

  • ebriosity

    August 19, 2017

  • The worst are consumed with ferocity;

    Protections alarm by their paucity.

    It's tempting to yield-

    Abandon the field-

    And sink into deep ebriosity.

    August 19, 2017

  • Oh, thanks to the generous pigeon

    Contributing his humble smidgen!

    He's doing his part

    For out-of-doors art

    With dollops of fresh white badigeon.

    August 18, 2017

  • If you would imbibe and waddle not

    Give heed to the size of bottle bought.

    The short road to ruin

    Is steep and it's strewn

    With many an empty pottle-pot.

    August 17, 2017

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