Comments by qms

  • carburetor

    January 17, 2019

  • One weather chat characteristic

    Is rather a linguistic missed trick:

    Why rain dogs and cats

    Not pigeons and bats,

    A figure more aptly faunistic?

    January 17, 2019

  • Doomed cromlech

    January 16, 2019

  • His voice and his pictures surround,

    Like a pair of assailants they pound.

    They stab and they wound

    And leave us in stound

    Then kick us when we’re on the ground.

    January 16, 2019

  • Could a name for “enforcer of law” be

    More cozy than plain British “bobby?”

    See “peeler” that was

    Supplanted because

    The cockneys considered it nobby.

    January 15, 2019

  • Thumb thwack

    January 15, 2019

  • rampant poppycock

    January 14, 2019

  • Carpal dog snot

    January 14, 2019

  • Vorpal wombat

    January 14, 2019

  • I’ve rhymed my long weary way

    Five years without missing a day.

    Now rest on nostalgia

    Or choose cephalalgia,

    The price the obsessive must pay?

    January 14, 2019

  • High sentiments can’t hide the truth

    That much of our lives is uncouth.

    We desperately muddle

    And struggle to huddle

    Like penguins in search of some lewth.

    January 13, 2019

  • Reality’s under attack,

    Each speech a stinging gob smack.

    His gilt is amazin’;

    It seems as if brazen

    But even his brass is tombac.

    January 12, 2019

  • From cold northern seas to the Tasman,

    And islands perfumed with sweet jasmine,

    O’er endless bleak fetches

    The transported wretches

    Survived on slim hope and coarse maslin.

    January 11, 2019

  • An infant who’s fierce for the nipple

    Once grown may be given to tipple

    And if so accursed

    Must manage his thirst,

    Not guzzle but daintily sipple.

    January 10, 2019

  • That's cool, man. Pas de problemo.

    January 9, 2019

  • Though legal, leave pot well alone;

    It made my backyard Yellowstone.

    There Old Faithful spat

    And frightened the cat

    While a bear played a fine mellophone.

    January 9, 2019

  • There once was a youth in Australia

    Who slept in odd paraphernalia -

    Wore armor to bed,

    To cushion his head

    A pillow was stuffed in his galea.

    January 8, 2019

  • The Dutch have odd habits, by Jove!

    And sooterkin shows us a trove:

    Just why should Dutch ladies

    Be toasting their nates

    Or want to sit over a stove?

    January 7, 2019

  • Some credit strange creatures from space

    Or think that a ghost haunts the place

    But don’t often see

    The theophany

    Made plain in a babe’s smiling face.

    January 6, 2019

  • The suffering drones who are seen least

    Will say that their boss is a mean beast

    But turns a fine fellow

    When workers grow mellow

    At the annual company beanfeast.

    January 5, 2019

  • The poets of old made a song

    With anvil and hammer and tong,

    Now rap’s all the rage

    That’s stamped by a swage

    So writers need never be strong.

    January 4, 2019

  • The barbering tar would opine,

    “The hardest to shave’s the jawline.

    The prow of the chin

    Is easy as sin

    But not the damned barnacled chine.”

    January 3, 2019

  • See ferial, which means pertaining to a holiday or pertaining to any day of the week which is not a holiday.

    January 2, 2019

  • The day of the week’s immaterial

    Official, mundane, or ethereal.

    You’re sure to be vexed

    Without some context

    When told the occasion is ferial.

    Ferial is one of those words that supports opposite meanings. There are at least three lists that try (more or less strictly) to collect these:

    autantonyms, self-antonyms, contranyms.

    January 2, 2019

  • It may be all rumor and hearsay

    But true in a chillingly weird way:

    The Kremlin’s thick walls

    Hide banquets and balls

    On Donald’s inaugural year-day.

    January 1, 2019

  • The crow of the cock was more cheery

    Or the bell tolling bedtime when weary.

    A lovely hodgepodge

    We’ve called horologe

    Gives way to Alexa and Siri.

    December 31, 2018

  • He mines his deep mind for some rhyme

    And hopes he will find the sublime.

    In fits and in spasms

    He scours those chasms

    Constrained by his scarce undertime.

    December 30, 2018

  • Our energies ought to be less spent

    In making the past year’s assessment.

    To Hell be it sped!

    Let’s focus instead

    On next year with hopeful empressement.

    December 29, 2018

  • In what an immoral dark wilderness

    Could infants be brutally killed en masse?

    Such blasphemous crime

    In ‘Great’ Herod’s time

    Is subject and theme of our Childermas.

    December 28, 2018

  • Be quiet and give your attention:

    Obey every rule and convention;

    Just be a good Tassie,

    Not vain or too snazzy,

    And never be sent to Detention.

    December 27, 2018

  • If a boob should protrude ‘accidentally’

    She cannot help what he happens to see.

    I’ll give you few clues

    As to what then ensues

    But mention in passing his appetency.

    December 27, 2018

  • Imagine how lonely he’s feeling -

    The shepherd immured in his shieling.

    Forgive if you can

    That natural man

    For finding a sweet ewe appealing.

    December 26, 2018

  • Oh, might some benevolent magus

    With gift of his wisdom assuage us,

    And bring us, we pray,

    On this Christmas Day

    Surcease from the sorrows that plague us.

    December 25, 2018

  • These days in their fruitful adjacency

    Can tempt us to hope and complacency.

    The new year and yule -

    A birth and renewal -

    Seem marks of a new age in nascency.

    December 24, 2018

  • We save for those fellows who rule

    The sturdy and hallowed curule.

    Its virtues are spare

    As a practical chair

    But, my! What a really cool stool.

    December 23, 2018

  • A moat had its uses I’m sure:

    It must have been mainly a sewer,

    But when the pontlevis

    That crossed that foul crevice

    Was raised all within were secure.

    December 22, 2018

  • He dreams of a thirty-day rental

    But beaches and basking are mental,

    For Ernest though poor

    Just loves the allure

    Of saying he’s paid for a trental.

    Find out more about Ernest Bafflewit

    December 21, 2018

  • It’s Banksy I hear who in Monaco

    Installed a big fresco ironical.

    At night it evinces

    Affection for princes,

    In daylight it fades to intonaco.

    December 20, 2018

  • Let all of us be on our guard

    Lest judgment be hasty and hard.

    Is it tenderest sharing

    Or harsh and uncaring

    For a husband to suffer couvade?

    The definition supplied with the Word of the Day gives a positive spin to couvade but other definitions and examples are less generous.

    December 19, 2018

  • Might science discover a measure

    For comedy’s varying pressure,

    A new kymograph

    For giggle and laugh

    To trace precise records of pleasure?

    December 18, 2018

  • He can be annoying now, can’t he,

    Accepting our treats nonchalantly?

    In his humble view

    It’s only his due.

    He’s clearly a pococurante.

    December 17, 2018

  • Is your ear befuddled or mine?

    I’m pleased with the aural design.

    The internet voices

    Confirm my first choices,

    But maybe it’s different in Strine.

    December 17, 2018

  • We all crave a leader who’s leonine,

    An image that’s noble and fine,

    But something’s amiss

    With slither and hiss

    And leadership that’s colubrine.

    December 16, 2018

  • Grown tired of wealth’s mental stress

    He worked and he spent a bit less.

    He kept all he’d bought-

    His houses, his yacht-

    And honed a relaxed gentilesse.

    December 15, 2018

  • You’d hardly believe it, just what furor

    Was stirred by that tuneless loud quatuor!

    Hell’s recesses shook

    In every dark nook;

    The doors blew off and bats flew o’er.

    December 14, 2018

  • At beauty fests times immemorial

    He claimed rights visitatorial

    And cheekily breached

    The dressing room niche

    As though he had privilege seigneurial.

    December 14, 2018

  • From the pronunciation guidance I find it rhymes with mock steam, but I have not found a true two-syllable, one-word rhyme.

    December 14, 2018

  • Just where might you look for a wallaby

    Or find a big prairie dog colony?

    What habitats boast

    The least and the most

    And why, is the realm of chorology.

    December 13, 2018

  • In the matter of Moses’s toes

    Just what may the scholar suppose?

    The text could be comical

    Or else anatomical.

    He’d better define the skopos.

    Any unfamiliar with the matter of Moses’s toes can be enlightened at this link:

    December 12, 2018

  • One of the nicest Swedish deserts is a big sponge cake coated in whipped cream and studded with strawberries. In my wife’s family this is called by a name that translates to “maternal grandmother’s cake” but phonetically it is “murmur’s caca.” This give pause to those who are first introduced to it.

    December 11, 2018

  • The forms of address can get messy

    When croc and newcomer are freshie.

    I’d stumble, by gosh,

    ‘Cause we call them frosh

    And ‘gators are what might distress me.

    December 11, 2018

  • Old crocs that are cruising the Nile

    To Aussie eyes look juvenile.

    They are mighty paltry

    Compared to a saltie

    And prosaically fluviatile.

    December 11, 2018

  • The pepparkakor is one of the seemingly infinite variety of cookies my wife’s Swedish family bakes at Christmas.

    December 10, 2018

  • Ol’ bilby persists in his pranks

    But, weary, I tell him, “No thanks.”

    He may embrace fully

    The wus and the wully

    But my brief stops well short of Manx.

    December 10, 2018

  • A young person’s mind is in tumult,

    While fertile and green it is uncult,

    So passionate youth

    Neglects tact for truth

    And old withered ears hear an insult.

    December 10, 2018

  • To set a tone lofty and moral

    Some leaders eschew petty quarrel.

    The goblin by contrast

    Loves insult and bombast.

    He’s hopelessly clumsy and borrel.

    December 9, 2018

  • Some suitors use comic material;

    Others are sweet and ethereal.

    Some try derring-do

    But the most daring woo

    Is feigning the sexless empyreal.

    December 8, 2018

  • Cf. ultramontaine.

    December 7, 2018

  • The still mists stifle and stain

    Befouling the air of the plain.

    Skies formerly bright

    With reason’s clear light

    Need fresh gusts ultramontaine.

    Cf. tramontane.

    December 7, 2018

  • He’ll hunt and he’ll peck to collect,

    To source, classify and connect,

    But Ernest’s best hope is

    An eccentric opus.

    He’ll never compose a pandect.

    Find out more about Ernest Bafflewit

    December 6, 2018

  • *Doffs his hat.*

    December 5, 2018

  • It’s deep sea that makes a shad amorous

    But love misapplied is calamitous.

    How bad must she feel

    To fall for an eel

    Then learn that her lover’s catadromous.

    December 5, 2018

  • While some play the spoons or the bones

    Let others percuss with two stones,

    Or add a zambomba

    And cry ¡Ay,caramba!

    Enriching the idiophones.

    December 4, 2018

  • The flourish too much was the bonnet;

    Mugs curses the moment he donned it.

    The cops on the hunt

    Could see through his stunt;

    His costume was sadly incondite.

    December 3, 2018

  • I prithee, begone! Thou annoyeth us,

    Profaning these sanctified cloisters.

    A monk should be meek

    And hark more than speak

    But thou stealeth ale and are boistous.

    December 2, 2018

  • His statements, both tweets and official,

    Give proof of a grave mental issue.

    His dad joined the Klan

    And formed the young man

    So call it a trait gentilitial.

    December 1, 2018

  • Fresh leather, uneven and knobbled,

    Must always be thoroughly cobbled,

    But whacking on lapstones

    Is hard on a chap’s bones

    And prospects of offspring are hobbled.

    November 30, 2018

  • This pasta, I think you will find,

    Accepts sauce of most any kind.

    She’s not a cheap floozy

    Yet cannot be choosy

    For, i-less, spaghett is thus blind.

    November 30, 2018

  • Penelope’s dining is stylish:

    A dainty and well-seasoned dry mix

    In a Baccarat bowl

    That’s food for the soul

    And catnip infusion en kylix.

    November 29, 2018

  • The customs of England amaze me.

    Their judges wear gowns and a jasey.

    Has no one there twigged

    They’re strangely bewigged

    Considering wiggy means crazy?

    November 28, 2018

  • It’s countless the pastas I’ve met:

    Farfalle, linguini and yet

    From out all the many,

    The orzo and penne,

    The noblest is humble spaghett!

    November 27, 2018

  • In Venice the portly Geppetto

    Near capsized a small vaporetto.

    Resolved to get thinner

    He had for his dinner

    A polpetta bewreathed in spaghetto.

    November 27, 2018

  • A remarkable archaeological achievement, bilby. Also reminds me why I don’t want to be a fisherman.

    November 27, 2018

  • Poetasters flog wits with a withy

    To beat out some words that are pithy,

    Or bellow in time

    To the hammer of rhyme,

    Forging lines on the limerick’s stithy.

    November 27, 2018

  • The hunk at the neighborhood lido

    Swims freestyle and wears a tight speedo,

    But for the curmudgeon

    It’s trunks and the trudgen

    To show that he’s conquered libido.

    November 26, 2018

  • Priscilla, provisioned for hope, went

    Again for light strokes and tapotement.

    Should charm not procure

    A willing masseur

    Her checkbook might lead to elopement.

    November 25, 2018

  • Don’t go to the doc with a sniffle;

    She’ll warn of an ominous siffle.

    A cough and a sneeze

    Are not real disease.

    Avoid all that medical piffle.

    November 24, 2018

  • I just never know which ones are going to tickle people. Thank you both.

    November 23, 2018

  • That cowpoke’s so terribly loud he

    Quite shook the whole house with his “Howdy!”

    From force of his yell

    My wife’s soufflée fell.

    We served it as apple pandowdy.

    November 23, 2018

  • Said Winchell to Howard Cosell,

    “Have you ever had cocozelle?”

    Retorted young Howard,

    “I am not empowered,

    To say more than that I know her well.”

    November 22, 2018

  • In isles of the mangrove and manatee

    Swamp fevers can bring on insanity.

    To shelter your senses

    The best of defenses

    Is glass after glass of sweet sanagree.

    November 21, 2018

  • The fingers are pale as a larval brood

    And squirm like slick worms that are starved for food.

    But goblin’s do jabbing

    And coarse pussy grabbing,

    More foul for insinuant parvitude.

    November 20, 2018

  • He’s not much at subtle philosophy

    And stranger to grace, wit or prosody,

    But his vulgar sallies

    Do gin up his rallies.

    He’s champ when it comes to ventosity.

    November 19, 2018

  • I desperately hope and assume he

    Will go before night fears consume me,

    And take from the scene

    His strut and his preen,

    His self-praise and raging contumely.

    November 18, 2018

  • The pyramids furnish the proof

    We need but the hand and the hoof,

    For camel and manpower

    Built every grand tower,

    Assisted by levers, the sledge and shadoof.

    November 17, 2018

  • The shopkeeper cheerfully mocks

    The way that the Boer farmer talks.

    He’ll give him a thistle bloom

    When he wants a disselboom

    To hitch up his weary old ox.

    November 16, 2018

  • Yep. I’m wired.

    November 15, 2018

  • The dancer with all limbs akimbo

    Contorts in a lithesome low limbo.

    In firelight flesh glistens

    And all the world listens

    To the beat of the haunting berimbau.

    November 15, 2018

  • In seasons when sunlight is sparse

    The Princess stays in by the hearth.

    When Winter is gone

    And sun soaks the lawn

    Her court will disport on the garth.

    November 14, 2018

  • Brilliant, bilby! Can you copyright a dance move? Shall we race to the patent office? Gimme, gimme, gimme some money for that shimmy.

    November 13, 2018

  • I guessed it was old Abenaki

    Or maybe a rare type of sake,

    But alestake is pure

    Plain English for sure

    And none of that furrin malarkey.

    November 13, 2018

  • When travelers and steeds need a break

    There’s thirst of the horses to slake,

    But coachmen will push

    To the welcoming bush

    And go till they find an alestake.

    November 13, 2018

  • On the Great Puget Sound Octopus Survey

    Beware what the scholars purvey!

    Octopuses are coy in their way.

    They’re dodgers and dancers,

    You can’t trust their answers.

    Who knows how they’ll twist a survey?

    November 12, 2018

  • Concerning our great tribulation

    I offer a hopeful illation:

    The problem derives

    From imbibing lies

    And abstinence ends pixilation.

    November 12, 2018

  • If I were more learned and polished

    I’d know how to say “Magdalen College.”

    Odd words likes demyship

    Would trip light from my lip

    And all would admire my knowledge.

    An interesting note on local pronunciation:

    Don’t make the faux pas of pronouncing Magdalen College ‘Mag-de-len College’. It’s pronounced ‘Maudlin College’. Just to make things more confusing, Magdalen Street in the centre of Oxford IS pronounced ‘Mag-de-len’ but lively Magdelen Road in East Oxford is pronounced ‘Maudlin’ like the college. Got it?!

    November 11, 2018

  • It’s strange prey the bandicoot stalks.

    A sionnach, I learned, is a fox.

    It’s not like he will be

    A pal to a bilby.

    He’ll eat him like bagels and lox.

    November 10, 2018

  • Lexicographers eagerly explicate.

    Though some are disposed to pontificate

    A scholar who’s prudent

    Is modesty’s student,

    Inclined to first quietly ponderate.

    November 10, 2018

  • The bed ought to be like a cloister

    But some noisome neighbor may roister.

    An unwelcome shellfish

    Is Yanno, the selfish,

    Notoriously boisterous, oyster.

    November 10, 2018

  • My neighbor’s a noisy annoyer

    And drove me to go find a lawyer.

    Once keen on hip hop art

    He now swears by Mozart

    My lawyer has wrought metanoia.

    November 9, 2018

  • Greetings.

    November 8, 2018

  • In typical practice of Trumpery

    Civility’s scarce and perfunctory.

    The organs of speech,

    Disgraced in the breach,

    Are put to a service emunctory.

    November 8, 2018

  • There’s uncles and aunts and grandmothers

    And spawn of your sisters and brothers,

    A small baldaquin

    For all balder kin

    And tables in sunlight for others.

    November 7, 2018

  • Is this how our twigs should be bent?

    The goblin’s example has meant

    The way to succeed

    Is easy indeed,

    With bluster and pompous ostent.

    November 6, 2018

  • A penetrating observation, bilby.

    November 5, 2018

  • This is how the critics at Variety acclaim a successful all-women show. Compare boffo and brava. (The all-caps is a regrettable bit of condescension.)

    November 5, 2018

  • There once was a parrot named Darryl

    Who perched by the store’s pickle barrel.

    In his salty past

    He’d sailed ‘fore the mast

    So chattered of halyard and parrel.

    November 5, 2018

  • As humpback compares to a minke

    Or fist to a fluttering pinky

    Do engines for trains

    That roar ’cross the plains

    Compare to the stuttering dinkey.

    November 4, 2018

  • Let speciesism never asunder us

    But love from we two make but one of us.

    Though some think it odd,

    My sweet cephalopod,

    Forever you’ll be my dear wonderpus.

    November 3, 2018

  • The yard has a drive and a fertile edge

    Set round by a well trimmed myrtle hedge.

    It’s modest for sure

    But green and secure,

    A bargain in comfortable curtilage.

    November 3, 2018

  • Reading comments such as those at eckle-feckle I grieve that I missed some merry times at Wordnik.

    November 3, 2018

  • Surveyors come always in twos.

    The head man is careful to choose

    A jolly companion

    To plant the last fanion

    Then off to the pub and the booze.

    November 2, 2018

  • Old friends will at times feel the urge

    To lay down their tools and converge

    To learn how each fares,

    Their hopes and their cares,

    In the warmth of a cozy auberge.

    November 1, 2018

  • The caravans come from afar

    With goods for the local bazaar

    Paid each local chief,

    Lest they come to grief,

    A bribe that they called a caphar.

    October 31, 2018

  • A poet I once knew named Basil

    Tried hard to impress and to dazzle.

    For verses erotic

    He liked the exotic

    And spurned the dull sonnet for ghazal.

    October 30, 2018

  • Astride his dark snorting Bucephalus

    Whose thundering hoofbeats can deafen us,

    The horseman delights

    In haunting our nights,

    More horrid because he’s acephalous.

    October 29, 2018

  • The boffins who deal in robotics

    Avoid the weird look of exotics

    So study a lot

    To mix pet and bot,

    Applying zoosemiotics.

    October 28, 2018

  • We can't do much more than deplore

    The tenants our frail bodies store.

    I’m glad of the pills

    Addressing my ills

    With versatile pharmacaphore.

    October 27, 2018

  • Some radicals acting to start a “-vism”

    More pungent than middle-class artivism

    Now practice disruption

    By fragrant eruption,

    Harassing their targets with fartivism.

    October 26, 2018

  • mayonnaise

    October 26, 2018

  • Its signature characteristic

    Is ponds that bespeckle the district.

    By locals it’s said

    They mark giants’ tread.

    More likely their forming was listric.

    October 25, 2018

  • In times of great want and austerity

    Comparisons pump our prosperity.

    We’re pleased to discover

    A more wretched other

    And comfort ourselves in alterity.

    October 24, 2018

  • His minions must always be loyal,

    Defending his hopeless turmoil.

    They fall out of favor

    Who waffle or waver;

    He does not forgive or assoil.

    October 23, 2018

  • Emissions have made the earth’s sky sick

    And soiled all the waters epeiric.

    We should get on board

    The Paris Accord

    Then learn the new rules and comply quick.

    October 22, 2018

  • I look forward to your contributions.

    October 21, 2018

  • His duty and truth are betrayed

    With every new rodomontade.

    His coarse conversation

    Is tergiversation,

    His speeches sheer fanfaronade.

    October 21, 2018

  • In life Ghengis Khan dressed in ermine,

    For headgear - a tight proto-turban.

    We know not his clothes

    In deathly repose

    But know they’ll be found in a kurgan.

    October 20, 2018

  • Museums these days are eclectic,

    If some call it art they collect it,

    From classical schools

    To stuff with no rules

    And even the paleotechnic.

    October 19, 2018

  • There once was a prince, name of Hamlet,

    A madman (or did he just sham it?),

    Who wore silken pants

    For his epic rants

    But talked to the dead wearing camlet.

    October 18, 2018

  • Some argue the path to true wisdom

    Begins with the font and the chrism,

    But others protest

    The infant is blessed

    With insights of deep innatism.

    October 17, 2018

  • Ambitions advance and they ebb

    Like throbs of the life-giving web.

    Once ardently sought

    Are goals now forgot

    And heart-breaking woe a mere bleb.

    October 16, 2018

  • A dun dune adorns a beach scene

    While inland the valley is green.

    The one’s made of sand

    The other, rich land,

    Yet somehow they both are called dene.

    October 15, 2018

  • How best the erosion abet

    In dunes by nor’easters beset?

    Though some, shrugging, say

    You only can pray

    It makes much more sense to revet.

    October 14, 2018

  • Brett’s drinking improved only ullage;

    His judgment was worn to a dull edge.

    Discernment unclear,

    He mistook for beer

    Concoctions of poisonous sullage.

    October 13, 2018

  • May each dreaming sailor’s keen urge be

    To break from the dock and to surge free

    With wind at her back

    From tack after tack

    Her hair streaming out like a burgee.

    October 12, 2018

  • zuzu, you make it a pleasure to post them.

    October 11, 2018

  • His lashings of gold are grotesque,

    A Midas self-mocked in burlesque.

    His shill, pallid Pence,

    Is small change and hence

    Permitted the cold plateresque.

    October 11, 2018

  • The light of decorum’s entombed,

    God knows when we’ll see it exhumed.

    The shadows that cloak us

    In all that’s atrocious

    Will stay till that lamp is relumed.

    October 10, 2018

  • Some think there are mischievous progeny

    Descended from tales of cosmogony.

    No maker need be

    A he nor a she

    But a being of holy androgyny.

    October 9, 2018

  • The nurses are unctuous and syrupy,

    Their chatter theatrically chirrupy

    To make you feel sure

    They’ll manage your cure

    With doses of heliotherapy.

    October 8, 2018

  • Their postures are true antebellum;

    They’d write if they could on old vellum.

    They yearn for the day

    When cotton held sway

    And call Sumter’s walls their sacellum.

    October 7, 2018

  • It could be a Stephen King clown stole

    Some oil giant’s blackening brown soul

    And crammed it like phlegm

    In the steel flower’s stem,

    Accounting for obstacles downhole.

    October 6, 2018

  • There’s almost a sanctified aura

    To ruins of great Roman fora,

    But best bear in mind

    They thronged with our kind

    Who idled their time playing morra.

    October 5, 2018

  • A justice should be an upstander,

    A model of frankness and candor,

    And heaven forfend

    He need to defend

    ‘Gainst stories of drunken esclandre.

    October 4, 2018

  • The pundits deploy their ungainly tact,

    Unwilling to say what is plainly fact.

    He doesn’t misstate

    Or exaggerate:

    The man is a frank mythomaniac.

    October 3, 2018

  • It’s good for a lusty air crew,

    No more, they contend, than their due:

    High over the deep

    While passengers sleep

    To join in a lively airscrew.

    October 2, 2018

  • The problems that harry the nation

    Persist to the general frustration.

    They’re readily dumped

    And easily trumped

    By the goblin’s bizarre self centration.

    October 1, 2018

  • A physicist, stars in his eyes,

    Cried, “Love is a lovely surprise!

    The system’s enthalpy

    Is measurably paltry

    But, oh! How it does energize!”

    September 30, 2018

  • Sorry. These old eyes ain’t what they used to be.

    September 30, 2018

  • I think Amsterdamster is more pleasing to the ear tham Amsterdammer.

    September 30, 2018

  • A bad shoe can drive a man batshit.

    It shouldn’t be work to attach it.

    You needn’t bend over

    To put on a loafer.

    To hell with the laces and latchet!

    September 29, 2018

  • Well done, zuzu!

    September 28, 2018

  • Ahoy, bilby! Long time no read. Have you been off foraging for tasty lichens?

    September 28, 2018

  • The news makes me feel like old Job.

    It bruise some cranial lobe.

    I crave only quiet;

    I cannot deny it,

    I’m now a confirmed phonophobe.

    September 28, 2018

  • In Heorot he gave them all hope,

    At least a bare method to cope.

    Now hear Grendel’s roar

    At our trembling door

    But where is our comforting scop?

    Note: Pronunciation guidance varies: skop, shop and shope. The last of these is the one I was taught by scholars I trust.

    September 27, 2018

  • Heorot is a mead-hall described in the Anglo-Saxon epic Beowulf as "the foremost of halls under heaven." It served as a palace for King Hroðgar, a legendary Danish king of the sixth century. Heorot means 'Hart, stag'. After the malicious entity Grendel slaughters the inhabitants of the hall, the Geatish hero Beowulf defends the royal hall before subsequently defeating him. Later Grendel's Mother attacks the inhabitants of the hall, and she too is subsequently defeated by Beowulf.

    September 27, 2018

  • Tank, I am not worthy - but immensely flattered.

    September 27, 2018

  • The goblin of course could still tweet.

    I know it’s a foolish conceit

    To wish for (pro patria!)

    A case of anarthria

    But wouldn’t the silence be sweet?

    September 26, 2018

  • A bull fight’s a basically cruel event,

    Provoking a harmless great ruminant

    By pain and affronts

    And daredevil stunts

    To actions soon fatally fulminant.

    September 25, 2018

  • I think that there surely has got to be

    At least a faint taint of hypocrisy

    In places that get

    Their guests very wet

    And call the procedure hydropathy.

    September 24, 2018

  • Demure to ensure there’s no blame cast

    The coy maid is cautiously shamefast.

    By blushes and sighs

    She cleverly tries

    How long she can make the old game last.

    September 23, 2018

  • See skein.

    September 23, 2018

  • There once was a zealot named Wiggin

    Who practiced outlandish religion.

    Despite vulgar stares

    He said morning prayers

    Clad only in boots and a biggin.

    September 22, 2018

  • A beam of bright light was once set upon

    By ambushers with a sly etalon,

    Their ingenious aim -

    To make the beam lame

    And harness the hitch in its get along.

    September 21, 2018

  • Good beer is one of life’s fine things,

    Consoling our dry stomach linings;

    So God bless the brewer!

    Let’s never have fewer

    Of vats and of casks and of finings.

    September 20, 2018

  • Miss Grundy was quite at a loss

    To find a light comment to toss,

    So breathlessly viewed

    That arrogant nude,

    The fleshless, compelling kouros.

    September 19, 2018

  • ‘Mongst hulking great vessels of war

    That bristle with weapons galore

    The humble patache

    With nimble panache

    Still flits between ship’s side and shore.

    September 18, 2018

  • Thank you kindly, zuzu.

    September 18, 2018

  • The curse of the bashful winebibber

    Is drink at the first makes him glibber

    But eloquence fades,

    The right word evades

    And soon he’ll do no more than gibber.

    September 17, 2018

  • Blasphemers will profane the altar

    And read from a mischievous psalter.

    Some, without qualms

    Will distort the psalms;

    Instead of true preaching they palter.

    September 16, 2018

  • Her enemies cruelly abuse her

    And call her a heartless Medusa.

    Such charges are wild;

    She’s really quite mild,

    No more than a creepy empuse.

    September 15, 2018

  • The pirates triumphant are plunder-drunk,

    Their hardships for now all in wonder sunk,

    Engorged with their loot

    Of viands and fruit,

    Forgetting their dinners of dunderfunk.

    September 14, 2018

  • The Camelot ladies adore it

    But knights of the table deplore it.

    For questing you need

    Some strong ale and mead.

    You can’t hunt the Beast drinking morat.

    September 13, 2018

  • See also Questing Beast.

    September 13, 2018

  • The Questing Beast, or the Beast Glatisant (Barking Beast), is a monster from Arthurian legend. It is the subject of quests undertaken by famous knights such as King Pellinore, Sir Palamedes, and Sir Percival.

    September 13, 2018

  • OED

    wist. - To have cognizance or knowledge of; to be aware of; to know (as a fact or an existing thing).

    September 12, 2018

  • “Oh, mirror,” he asked, “Dost thou wist

    If better than I could exist?”

    The dun-colored prism

    Of his dullardism

    Showed only his face in the mist.

    September 12, 2018

  • Once crimes were resolved by MacGyver,

    That endlessly clever contriver.

    Now villains are caught

    More often than not

    By white-coated experts on livor.

    September 11, 2018

  • Gello in Greek mythology, is a female demon or revenant who threatens the reproductive cycle by causing infertility, spontaneous abortion, and infant mortality. By the Byzantine era, the gelloudes (γελλούδες) were considered a class of beings. Women believed to be under demonic possession by gelloudes might stand trial or be subjected to exorcism.

    Gyllou, Gylou, Gillo, or Gelu are some of its alternate forms.

    September 10, 2018

  • Plural of Gello.

    September 10, 2018

  • A cowboy not home on the range

    Is given to conduct that’s strange.

    In search of romance

    He’ll try hard to dance

    But only can lollop and brainge.

    September 10, 2018

  • The witch who was doc for the group

    Would steep an old napkin in soup.

    When spells went awry

    A broth of newt’s eye

    Would make a most excellent stupe.

    September 9, 2018

  • I’m welcome all over the town.

    The grownups invite a sit-down,

    But all the kids know me

    By my odd visnomy

    As Donald the Dangerous clown.

    September 8, 2018

  • A hapax legomenon.

    September 7, 2018

  • A scholar cries, “This is mere gabble!”

    Another says, “Nay, it is babble!”

    The conference is shattered

    And comity battered

    In a lexicographical brabble.

    September 7, 2018

  • The annals record not a precedent

    For comments like these of our president.

    Some language was salty

    Or grammar was faulty

    But none so obtuse or maledicent.

    September 6, 2018

  • Oh, how many evils arise

    When citizens blinker their eyes,

    When allegiance to fact

    Is a perilous act

    And seeking the truth an emprise?

    September 5, 2018

  • See Prometheus.

    September 4, 2018

  • I like my cheesecake framboise-y,

    A scarlet and ivory jamboree

    The cake’s at its best

    When liberally blessed

    With berries all lushly cramoisie.

    September 4, 2018

  • He listens to boring accounts

    Of places he cannot pronounce,

    Hiding incomprehension

    With feigned close attention

    And solemn executive frounce.

    September 3, 2018

  • There once was a lady named Maggie

    Pathetically shriveled and saggy.

    Bag ladies aren’t keen

    On careful hygiene

    So Maggie was savagely caggy.

    September 2, 2018

  • Our Ernest loves words like calcanea

    And other such strange miscellanea.

    It’s the wordy’s affliction,

    A nerdy addiction,

    A potent, though weird, methomania.

    Find out more about Ernest Bafflewit

    September 1, 2018

  • There once was a spokesman named Ziegler,

    A famously flexible wriggler.

    While still a mere youth

    He bargained with truth

    And proved a most obstinate higgler.

    August 31, 2018

  • We fear for the health of democracy

    And Sanders decries our plutocracy,

    But fears in me linger

    From his wagging finger

    That Bernie supports pedantocracy.

    August 30, 2018

  • alexz has a list called Glitched definitions.

    August 30, 2018

  • The Pharma Bro’s free market ultraism,

    Though seen quite rightly as vulturism,

    Was deemed unassailable

    So crimes that were jailable

    Were found to obtain a result in prison.

    August 29, 2018

  • They study the lore and phonetics

    And delve into tribal memetics,

    But some, sick of prying,

    Are given to lying

    To tart up the ethnopoetics.

    August 28, 2018

  • We often respond rather comically

    To sounds we produce anatomically.

    Our rumbles and farts

    Suggest martial arts

    And sometimes a new gigantomachy.

    August 27, 2018

  • The “blimp” was a British wry tease:

    A Trump in his bright tighty-whities.

    Onlookers were cheerful,

    The Trump, though, was tearful,

    Afflicted with gross tympanites.

    August 26, 2018

  • Though wise men maintain it’s a verity

    That rudeness and insult are ferity,

    With those who won’t see

    What’s plain villainy

    The sages permit some asperity.

    August 25, 2018

  • Despite our indignant chorus

    Polluters still mock or ignore us

    And now heaps of swill

    On Capitol Hill

    Grow fouler and more cacodorous.

    August 24, 2018

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