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The Porn Birds

A list of 107 words by bilby.

About

It's the winter of 2039. Global warming and rapacious development is taking a serious toll on habitat for birds all around the world. In desperation, they turn to new careers in the feather-flicks of the avian sex industry. Allow me to present the cast ...

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I must thank my inspiration reesetee, without whom these sniggerisms would be unthinkable. And dontcry, who has a thing for peckers.

Comments

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  • bilby Dang, you're good at this. Jun 14, 2012

  • deinonychus ...and the creamy-rumped miner. Jun 14, 2012

  • deinonychus So... When I got one bird added, I couldn't help collecting some of the other ones I've stumbled upon:

    pink-rumped rosefinch, pink-breasted lark, pink cockatoo, fire-capped tit, tit-babbler, fluffy-backed tit-babbler, rosy-faced lovebird, peach-faced lovebird, red-headed lovebird...
    May 14, 2012

  • bilby Added. Thanks! May 12, 2012

  • deinonychus Great list! I keep finding porn birds everywhere, most recently the rough-faced shag... May 12, 2012

  • ruzuzu See comments on whorenithology. Jul 21, 2010

  • reesetee Including nicknames, of course. :-) Oct 22, 2008

  • bilby All real names ... thank the birds :-) Oct 22, 2008

  • ooh This is wonderful. Oct 22, 2008

  • bilby Neato! Sep 18, 2008

  • reesetee Ooooh! Someone beat bilby to it. ;-) Sep 18, 2008

  • trivet And graphjam strikes again. Sep 18, 2008

  • reesetee They could be, if you cross them.

    *Jurassic Park music* Sep 3, 2008

  • chained_bear Don't worry. I'm allergic, so they're stuffed fake kittens.

    Anyway, aren't your birds Terror Birds? Sep 3, 2008

  • reesetee Hey, watch those kittens! I don't want to put the birds in any more danger. Sep 3, 2008

  • chained_bear They have?! AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! *skips through fields of daisies, with kittens* Sep 3, 2008

  • reesetee It's a matter of hot debate on the birding lists, too--but it's a joke. Not to worry.

    Besides, they've showed up at both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. That should tell you something. ;-) Sep 3, 2008

  • chained_bear *hopes* Sep 3, 2008

  • rolig Cheer up, Ms. Bear. I am sure this is a joke. The "quotations" have joke written all over them. Sep 3, 2008

  • chained_bear Are those people joking? Please tell me they're joking. What the f%$# is our world coming to?! *depressed* Sep 3, 2008

  • bilby What, got the guilts about sex slavery in the aviary? ;-) Sep 3, 2008

  • reesetee All right, bilby, spill it: Was this your idea? Sep 3, 2008

  • Prolagus See also glue of lust. Apr 29, 2008

  • reesetee *ditches glue, returns with duct tape* Apr 29, 2008

  • dontcry you know where glue comes from, don't you reesetee...? Apr 29, 2008

  • reesetee You'd have to glue feathers all over it. Apr 29, 2008

  • mollusque You could use a knuckleboom. Apr 29, 2008

  • reesetee Good grief. This poor horse can't rest in peace! ;-) Apr 29, 2008

  • dontcry Would that be a knuckleduster? Apr 29, 2008

  • bilby Now if you had a duster made from peacock feathers, and your dead horse happened to be getting a bit dusty, and ... Apr 29, 2008

  • reesetee I don't either. And there's no sense beating them. *even more mock-serious* Apr 28, 2008

  • chained_bear I don't think dead horses belong on the Porn Birds list at all. At all. *mock serious tone* Apr 28, 2008

  • dontcry not to beat a dead horse, but how about peacock? Apr 28, 2008

  • reesetee Dontcry, to answer your original question: A woodpecker isn't the same as a woodcock. Two different creatures. :-) Apr 28, 2008

  • dontcry how much wood would a woodpecker peck if a woodpecker packed a peck of permits? Apr 27, 2008

  • bilby Peter Piper poked a pack of pecker permits. Apr 27, 2008

  • dontcry it's true, I do have a thing for woodpeckers -- and in that vein, I'd like to remind everyone that woodpeckers are protected by the 1918 Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Victorian, to be sure, but still and all, a law and as such, technically, no person shall take posession of a woodpecker without first securing a permit from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Just so you know and all.

    Apr 26, 2008

  • dontcry "While the 5:00 am drumming can be annoying..." they are a wonder to observe in their natural habitat. Apr 26, 2008

  • dontcry Woodpeckers are members of the Picidae family which includes "flickers" and "sapsuckers" (yellow-bellied and otherwise). There are many different types of woodpeckers including the hairy woodpecker, the downey woodpecker and the red-headed woodpecker(natural, of course) Apr 26, 2008

  • bilby Often sesquipedalians miss the pecking obvious. Apr 26, 2008

  • dontcry i didn't see woodpecker -- or is that the same as woodcock? Apr 26, 2008

  • reesetee And apparently onomatopoeic, so it comes straight from the bird's beak. :-) Apr 25, 2008

  • bilby Dickcissel is brilliant. Apr 25, 2008

  • reesetee Why, you're not intruding, ktrey--jump right in! :-)

    And dickcissel isn't even a nickname . . . excellent. Apr 24, 2008

  • ktrey Pardon my intrusion, but I'd like to offer another p-ornithological candidate: The stupendously sibilant sounding Dickcissel. Apr 24, 2008

  • reesetee Oh, but it's so derivative. ;-P Mar 11, 2008

  • skipvia I love this list and wonder how I missed it for three months. I'm still chuckling over thunder-pumper.

    Don't forget the tufted titmouse... Mar 11, 2008

  • reesetee Thanks for the credit up there, bilby.

    Oh, and you forgot willie whip the wind, too. :-D Dec 12, 2007

  • chained_bear The Porn Birds?! HA HA HA HAHA!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! *gasp* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Dec 12, 2007

  • bilby All hookers will be sought and acquired. In the name of *cough* science. Dec 12, 2007

  • reesetee You forgot Canada hooker. Dec 11, 2007

  • bilby Colleen McCulloch cannot deter me. Dec 11, 2007

  • reesetee Bilby, you're such a rapoldonion. ;-) Dec 11, 2007