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Words that shouldn't be used on a first date.

An open list of 284 words by taciturnyetprolix.

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  • kjola Hilarious! :) Apr 25, 2009

  • bilby An exemplary lesson in profile construction for online matchmaking sites. Nov 11, 2008

  • reesetee Wow. C_b, your list is strangely complementary to this one. What an odd family you must have. ;-> Jun 19, 2008

  • chained_bear Hey, would any of the words on this list work here too? Jun 19, 2008

  • taciturnyetprolix I propose we all join Match.com, book a lot of first dates, then try these out. I'll have to ask the wife first though. Jun 18, 2008

  • yarb If that's true, whichbe - that dating is dead -, it's a shame. I was never a serial dater (datist?) but the uncertainty, intrigue, and curiosity of a first date make it a splendid experience whatever happens. Jun 12, 2008

  • whichbe If only to break all the rules, Prolagus. But, really, "dating" is...dated. If I'm having a "first date" it's long after I've gotten to know someone and have a quality connection with them. Jun 12, 2008

  • dontcry Earthlings, I love you. Brilliant! Awesome list! Jun 12, 2008

  • Prolagus What's funny is that all of us will have this list in their mind on any first date from now on. Jun 12, 2008

  • palooka I enjoy adding to this list, because when it comes to dating, I'm a real Neanderthal. Or real basic, I don't know. Reminds me of the joke about how women can impress men on a date:

    "Show up naked.
    Bring food.
    Don't block the TV." Jun 12, 2008

  • reesetee *has probably failed the test on both counts* Jun 11, 2008

  • skipvia I'd probably avoid any use of the word "tongue" on a first date, reesetee. Jun 11, 2008

  • dontcry r -- yes, as long as you don't present it as a question. Jun 11, 2008

  • reesetee Yarb and whichbe, you guessed my intentions--some of the words I added (moist and clinchpoop, specifically) were meant to be tongue-in-cheek.

    Can you say tongue-in-cheek on a first date? Jun 11, 2008

  • yarb No I didn't!

    And come on dc, you can't deny that a whispered clinchpoop would be impossibly romantic at the right moment. Jun 11, 2008

  • Prolagus yarb, did you open the scarf page? Jun 11, 2008

  • dontcry Charmed? Really, yarb? The only one I can agree with you on is boudoir -- but only if he pronounced it "boo-der" 'cause that always makes me laugh! Jun 11, 2008

  • skipvia And threesome could actually work in your favor, given the right proclivities... Jun 11, 2008

  • whichbe I've presumed that this hilarious list is meant mostly as a generalized comedy list and not meant to be taken literally, since there's plenty of words that could or should be used, in fact. And, of course, there's context and quotha. Jun 11, 2008

  • yarb That sounds like a great first date!

    Actually I'd be charmed to hear, and would happily use, some of the words on this list at a first date - boudoir, word-loins, gound, moist, clinchpoop. And what's wrong with simper and scarf?? Jun 11, 2008

  • chained_bear I had a memorable first date once where someone explained to me about some kind of nifty frog that eats this huge thing (without chewing, of course) and then has to, like, shift around to make it fit in its stomach. This description came complete with a physical acting-out to demonstrate. Jun 11, 2008

  • pterodactyl No, bilby, it just means that I didn't read the list thoroughly before posting my ideas. Nevertheless, I think we can all agree that you shouldn't use Montezuma's revenge twice on a first date.

    Three times, though... that might be okay. :-) Jun 11, 2008

  • reesetee Ha! What a great list idea! Jun 10, 2008

  • dontcry Pter: lutefisk *snort!* Jun 10, 2008

  • bilby Montezuma's revenge has now been listed by both TYP and ptero. Does this mean that it shouldn't be used twice on a first date? Jun 10, 2008

  • dontcry Beautiful! Jun 10, 2008

  • pterodactyl What a great list! Thanks, TYP! Jun 10, 2008

  • yarb Lol at hilarious recent additions! Jun 10, 2008

  • yarb I'm never going to be able to forget it, so I don't see why you should. Jun 10, 2008

  • skipvia I had forgotten all about that embarrassing typo (pimiento load), yarb. Thanks for bringing it back up, so to speak... :-) Jun 10, 2008